Angels Never Lie
by blu blade
Summary: There's always that one guy that no matter what you do, he has a problem with you. Axel was that guy. There's also that guy who is your desire. Yeah, I was Axel's. Too bad angels don't fall in love with guys like Axel. And too bad he didn't get the memo.
1. Devil Inside

**Another wonderful three-shot! And no, this time, I do plan to update it! Lol, it's been a long time since I've been able to get on here, school has been crazy since it started up. Let me tell ya, AP classes are no joke. **

**So. This just refused to leave my head until I had to get it down. As I said, I plan for this to be a three-shot...it might turn out to be more, but let's not get too carried away! Alright, that's all I have to say! Get reading!**

* * *

Prologue

* * *

If you've ever seen the way he looks at me, you'd understand why I'm willing to lie to my friends and family to be with him. It's almost as if I'm his catnip- his never ending desire; his unwavering addiction. And somehow, he manages to convey all of that in one lust-filled glance; so quick you're not sure if it was real, but long enough to immobilize you by turning your knees to jelly.

His name is Axel Highwind, and he's the most sought out senior in all of the islands, least of all our school, the Jecht Academy (for the supernatural). Well, okay, they don't say that. But that doesn't mean that they shouldn't! It's just a little suspicious that half of the students who go here have some kind of supernatural gift. There are normal students, of course, like my best friends, Hayner, Pence and Olette. But really. The second floor of the school is entirely devoted to paranormal courses designed for those gifted students. My math, science, English and history courses are all on the first floor, but my paranormal courses, like Weapon Maintenance, Potions 101, Final Form Fundamentals (Sora, my older brother, is the best in the school. Me? I suck at FFF), and AP Combat. And those are just the basic courses, well minus AP Combat.

That's where I first met him. We were partnered up in class, to my horror, by our conflicting age and height. (He's tall, I'm short, and he's a senior, and I'm a lowly sophomore.) I had been devastated- not because I didn't think I could take him (please, I don't want to brag, but I'm _good_). But because this was Axel Highwind! The object of every girl's wet dreams (not to mention mine). If I laid a hand on him, I'd be shunned completely.

But even so. That didn't mean I wasn't willing to give it all I had. And really, at the time, I thought he was kind of a jerk. He kept sending his friend Demyx to give me these really sappy love letters, and while they were cute and all, they always found a way to mix something innocent with something dirty. Can you imagine me trying to show my friends that kind of thing, when I'm supposed to be the angel of the group?

Not only that, but I'd seen him flirt with many girls and in some cases, guys, in the hallways, when he thought I couldn't see him. And to add insult to injury, I'd actually seen him flirt with Olette, right in front of me. I mean, it's not like I cared…but still! It was the principle of the fact!

So this was all enough incentive to kick his ass.

"You're pretty good, Angel." Axel whistled as he deflected another one of my attacks. I growled at him as he tried to singe my clothes with a couple of controlled flames.

"What did you call me?" I hissed, blocking one of his chakrams with one keyblade while I attacked his side with the other. No such luck, he easily blocked it with his second chakram.

"I called you Angel. Because isn't that what you are? Everyone else says so." He explained as if we were having a conversation over coffee. He swirled his weapon in the air menacingly as I hopped back a couple of feet to catch my breath.

"Okay class, notice how Roxas just took a couple of steps away from his opponent, in order to gather strength. Also take note of Axel, who is showing off his skills in a move of intimidation." Mrs. Mulan announced to our spectators, but we both ignored her.

"But you know something?" Axel continued, placing his chakrams down on the ground and kneeling in front of me in a gesture of peace. "I don't think you're as innocent as you look. I don't think it's _that _much of a stretch for you to go out with me."

I narrowed my eyes at him- was he really comparing _me_ to _him_?! -and sent one last slash to him while he was off guard. The keyblade in my right hand cut off a few strands of red hair while the other settled itself into the ground no more than two inches besides his face.

I gave him a sickly sweet smile and offered out a hand to help him up. "And _that_ is why you never let your guard down Axel."

Around us, the entire class burst into applause, the boys congratulating me and the girls letting out sighs of relief. Axel rolled his eyes at me but let a dry half-smile appear onto his face. He grabbed my collar and pulled me down so we were eyelevel.

"It has to get lonely like this. When you become everybody's angel, no one can see the real you. So you place a fence around your heart, so no one can get inside. I get that." He murmured into my ear. My eyes widened. What? That couldn't possibly be true; it made no-

"You don't have to pretend with me. Be yourself. Get mad. Argue. Speak up…there's no such thing as a perfect person, Roxas. And really…I'm not looking for one. I'm looking for someone real, someone interesting. Someone who isn't afraid to speak their mind."

I shoved his hand away roughly and chanced a glance to see if anyone was listening to us. Sometime within Axel's little…dissection of me, the bell had rung, indicating that school was 

over. If I didn't hurry up, I would miss the bus. It wasn't really a big deal if I did; everyone was always nice to me, so it'd be a snap to catch a ride. But still. I _always_ rode the bus home. People _expected_ me to ride the bus.

It made me…_angry_ that he was making me reconsider my routine with just a couple of whispered words. It made me really _pissed off_, actually.

"You want me to speak my mind?" I hissed at him, throwing my keyblades to the ground and hearing them fade away. "You want me to speak my _goddamn_ mind? Fine. I think you are the most egotistical, falsely philosophical, supercilious, discourteous, uncouth, brash, _wrong _asshole on the entire planet. So here's a little advice from me to you: fuck off!"

I was so surprised that he'd managed to bring out such a reaction in me, that I couldn't move. I was so disturbed at that lack of control that I was _shaking_. Something inside of me had wretched itself free within that proclamation, something that refused to crawl back inside. And that frightened me.

Axel stared at me for a second before standing up and walking the little couple of meters that separated us. I stared at him, my eyes wild and wide, as he leaned forward so that we were eye to eye. He was so close…_too _close for my taste…

He smelled like cinnamon and red spice and something reminiscent of fire, but I couldn't put my finger on it. It was a weird combination of scents, but somehow on him, I liked it. It just…fit.

"Not bad, Roxas." He whispered, for once his face absent of its usual smirk. He looked so sincere and proud of me, that I couldn't help but blush. And then, I did the one thing I knew I shouldn't have. I looked into his eyes. It was such a bright, neon color of green that it took my breath away and made my heart beat faster. Within those eyes, I found a whirlwind of emotions, things that flashed too quickly to register in my mind, but slow enough to bring an ache to my groin.

And all too soon, it was over.

I looked up as Axel pulled away from me. Where was he going? Suddenly I was mad again. He made me contemplate myself and then he was just going to walk away? Just like that?

"See ya tomorrow, Roxas." He paused, not even bothering to turn around, although I could hear the smirk in his voice. "That is, if you're not too good enough to speak to the likes of me."

And just like that, I had been hooked. Too bad I didn't know what I was getting into.

* * *

Title: Angels Never Lie

Song: Devil Inside by Utada

Rating: M

* * *

_October_

There was no way it was October. It was far, far too cold. I mean, sure, Riku had warned Sora and I when we moved back here that due to global warming, the weather had changed dramatically since our day. But still…this just wasn't right. It's like Summer and Winter ganged up on Fall and kicked it out of the seasonal changes.

I wrapped my scarf tighter around my neck and sighed. There. That was a little better, at least.

"Oh Roxas! You look so adorable wearing that scarf I made you!" Sora cooed, his eyes going all big and sparkly. "It's almost…too cute!" He pulled me to him and squeezed me against his chest, efficiently making me feel like the biggest dork in the world.

"Sora, do you _want_ Roxas to have a good social life?" Riku asked rhetorically, suddenly appearing next to us. Riku lived like, three houses down from ours, so whenever Sora and I walked to school, like today, Riku would wait for us outside on his porch and walk with us. Personally I didn't know how he did it. It was just too freezing to sit outside.

"Of course I do, Riku. Ass." He tossed out teasingly, giving him a playful scowl. Then he frowned. "Although, it's not as if Roxas even needs one. I never even knew it was possible to be _so_ well-liked like he is until he came to Jecht Academy."

Riku considered this before shaking his head in disagreement. "Nah, I think Axel Highwind pretty much has that award in the bag."

I paused in my walking at the name while Sora and Riku kept walking, too lost in their daily bickering to even notice that I'd stopped.

"_Who even says that anymore?"_

"_What?"_

"'_In the bag'? God, what are you, eighty?"_

"_I know you're not talking, Mr. I-Looked-Everywhere-For-You-So-I'm-Going-To-Get-On-My-Knees-For-No-Reason-And-Cry."_

"_Ri-ku! I told you about that in confidence! It's not my fault I have weird dreams about keys!"_

I wasn't listening. I was too busy trying to push out the memories of Axel. It'd been two weeks since I freaked out and screamed at him and I'd been doing a pretty good job at avoiding him. If I passed him in the halls while I was with someone, I would shoot him a small, forced smile. But if the hall was absolutely empty, I ignored him completely. It annoyed me that he was affecting me so much, but I couldn't help it! He was…unnerving.

Not only that, but my dreams were tainted by him too. For the past week, I'd been waking up in a sweat and in sticky boxers, which, let me tell you, is not a clean feeling. Especially not for someone who prides themselves on being a clean, good little boy like I do.

"Rox? You coming?" Sora asked me, his voice suddenly right beside me. I looked up quickly, shaking off my own thoughts. Today, like I'd been telling myself for the past two weeks, I was not going to think about Axel. I was going to live my life as I intended for myself, and I was not going to consider what that stupid, sexy, beautiful, deliciously tall, lean-

"Yeah, sorry, just reviewing in my head." I replied swiftly, halting my own mind. No more thinking today. God, I couldn't even trust my own head.

"Reviewing for what?" Sora wanted to know, his pure blue eyes locked on mine nervously as we made our way closer to the school. I rolled my eyes and ignored him, sharing a look with Riku. Sora never studied for tests; not because he was lazy, but because it didn't really interest him, and he never remembered things that didn't interest him. I.E., tests and homework. And most times than not, he ended up just copying off of me or Riku before it was due anyway.

"He's probably referring to the AP Combat three chapter test that's today. You know…AP Combat? We have it first period, he has it last period?" Riku offered up pointlessly. Sora had already forgotten what we were talking about and was now mindlessly walking in front of us with his hands behind his head.

Riku sighed. "Why do I even bother?"

I grinned at him and chanced a glance at Sora. He wasn't listening but what else was new? "Because you _loooove_ him."

"I never said that." He snapped, glaring at me. My grin only widened.

"But you know that he likes you and that doesn't bother you at all. In fact, you've only gotten even more affectionate towards him. The only thing missing here is your side of the puzzle." I observed smugly, but that probably wasn't the best idea. People like Riku get defensive easily. Like scorpions. And it sucks to be stung, trust me, I know.

"Oh yeah? Well I've been hearing some rumors about you and Axel around school, so what's up with _your _puzzle?" He retorted and I frowned. Rumors?! Who was talking about us? What were they even saying, nothing happened!

"What rumors?" I demanded, stopping completely and staring at him. Riku just smirked and kept walking, giving me an ominous shrug. I could've thrown something at him just then. Jerk. Now I was going to have to start my school day off feeling completely paranoid. Great.

_Just_…great.

I forced myself to smile happily as I waved to basically the entire student body as the three of us approached the school doors. Maybe people _weren't_ talking about me.

Yeah. It was all just in my mind because of what Riku said.

I was fine.

* * *

I was _not_ fine.

Riku may be many things…but he's not a liar.

From the moment I was inside the school, all previous conversation halted and there was a joint sympathetic sigh of, "poor thing!" the second the doors closed behind me. Even Sora had turned around to give me a confused look.

"Uh, Rox, what's going on?" He hissed as a really hot senior gave me a teddy bear that said, "I'm so sorry!" when you squeezed it. I shook my head at him and immediately shrugged on my black hoodie over my uniform, placing the hood over my head. There, that was better. A little. Normally anything that covered the uniform wasn't allowed, but the dean and I were really good friends. He thought I was the sweetest thing since candy canes.

"Sora, hurry your ass up. Mrs. Mulan is taking points off for tardiness and-" He paused as we all watched Seifer Almasy, probably the meanest kid at school- well, at least up until Leon started pursuing him; now he was a lot more chill- walk right up to me, even without his posse.

"Look, Roxas, I know I'm not the nicest guy here. But you're practically a saint, and everyone here, including me, is very protective of you because in a way, you're our light. So, I just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry Axel made a play for you, made you make-out with him and made you cry. I think he's worse than me for that."

And with that, Seifer went back to his cold exterior, pushing some freshman out the way as he crossed back down the hall.

Sora's eyes widened before suddenly narrowing angrily, and he opened his mouth to say something…

…As Riku just gave me an apologetically knowing look before dragging my brother to their first period class.

Sighing because I still had to go to my locker, I trudged down the hall. By the time I made it to my locker, I was already tardy by two minutes because I kept getting stopped by people showering me with gifts and condolences, like someone had died or something!

Before I could think another depressing thought about how I wouldn't be able to even go to the bathroom at this rate (_someone_ would have the balls to give me a pity hand job- I'm not overreacting, it's happened to me before!), I was slammed roughly against my locker. I growled- oh _hell_ no- and prepared to give whoever just slammed me into the metal a beat down (no one would see- they were all in class) before a flash of bright red caught my eye.

"Axel?" I demanded, lowering my vision to meet his eyes. I immediately averted them. Damn, he looked _pissed_. And for some reason, seeing that emotion directed at me made my chest pang painfully.

"Yeah, you better fucking believe it is. What the hell do you think you're doing? I know you like to pretend and shit, but don't you think spreading rumors is a little low for such a perfect _angel_ like you?" He snapped, his grip tightening. Understanding washed through me like a tidal wave…which was being followed quickly by a flurry of rage. He thought_ I_ started these rumors?

"_Excuse_ me? You think _I _started this? I can't even walk through the halls without getting showered with pity! You think I want that? You think I'm just _so _fake…so playing into that scenario, how would that help my image? How is being the victim of a forced make out session going to make me seem pure?!" I exclaimed harshly, starting to lose control again. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Calm down. Calm down, Roxas.

But I couldn't stop the words falling from my mouth in rivulets. I'd been controlling my emotions and covering my voice for so long, that just a tiny taste of freedom was ruining any and all power I'd had on it.

"And if, by chance, I really did plan all of this, why would I be acting so confused and startled? Wouldn't I be, I don't know, playing the victim card? I don't know about you, but I find something so heart-breaking in watching depictions of an angel crying." I shouted, my rage making me stronger than him. I pushed him off of me and into the adjacent lockers, pinning him by his shoulders and glaring into his green eyes. I willed myself not to melt.

"You don't know me _at all_, if you think_ I_ started those rumors. I'm more like the _angel _people say I am than the _horrible person_ you want me to be."

I let him go after that. I panted heavily, still scowling at him, before the sun from the window next to us hit my face. The light reflected off of my face, and my emotions quickly placed themselves back into the perfect mold they'd been trained to be in at the sight of it. Oh no…I'd let my feelings take over again.

I'd let him get to me…_again_.

I chanced a small glance up at Axel. He was clutching his chest where his heart was, blushing, and I noticed that by the way he was breathing, it was beating irregularly. My eyes widened. Did that mean that I…made his heart race just now?

His green eyes caught mine and trapped me, making me lose myself in a sea of green; in a sea of honestly and truth and imperfection. That world, the one reflected in his eyes, appealed to me so much. But I couldn't just bring myself to join it.

"Okay, okay. I believe you. And believe it or not, I don't think you're fake. But I also don't think you're the innocent little angel that everyone makes you out to be. So that leaves me in a pickle, here, Roxas." He told me carefully, but something was clouding his eyes. It was making them smolder, actually.

"Because I really, really like you. But I don't know _how_ to like you, because all I see is the Roxas you _want_ everyone to see. And that makes it hard for me to tell when you're fucking with me, and when you're being sincere." He continued, taking a couple of steps towards me. I backed away almost immediately. He was getting too close again.

"And really, I think you like me too." He murmured, efficiently having pinned me against the lockers again. Although, to be fair, this time it wasn't with an aggressiveness. It was with something more…tender. Gentle.

Sultry.

"Why do you think that?" I murmured back, lost in his eyes and everything that they were promising me. Truth. Peace. Self-realization.

"Because I-" He had started to answer against my lips, but a clacking against the lockers from a little ways from us made me lose focus with his eyes and slip away from under him. I quickly fixed my clothes as the figure that interrupted us came closer and closer.

Axel scowled and started muttering under his breath. Something about drowning him but he would like that? I don't know, I couldn't hear him well. But I did know that this was not the kind of behavior a good boy should be displaying.

"Demyx…there just happened to be something in your locker that needed retrieving right next to us and at that exact second, right?" Axel growled at the new stranger. I eyed him politely.

He was tall, almost as tall as Axel, with a strange Mohawk hair style and bright marine green eyes. He was wearing a black hoodie under his uniform and oversized uniform slacks with chains attached. I glanced down absently at his shoes. He had on a pair of worn down converses with doodles of what looked like…a sitar (or was it a part of the male anatomy?) strewn all over.

My eyes wandered back up to his face. He had a goofy smile on his face and was...

Staring at me?!

I jumped, startled for a moment, before he began to laugh. He held out a hand towards me.

"Since Axel over here seems to have left his manners in his backpack, which, as you can see, isn't with him right now, I guess I'll introduce myself without his help. I'm Demyx, Axel's best friend and fellow Help-Roxas-Be-Himself supporter. Nice to meet you!" He said brightly. I narrowed my eyes at that last part. I _was_ being myself, dammit.

I shot a dark glower at Axel before turning back to Demyx with a wary smile. "It's very nice to meet you too, Demyx. But…the thing is, I _am_ being myself. So there's no need for you to try and help me, because, as indicated, I don't need it." I said politely.

Demyx gave Axel a grave look. "Damn, it's worse than we thought. He's definitely been swimming in a vat of toxic Splenda."

"I know, I told you, didn't I?" He agreed before reaching down and grabbing my hand. I stared in disgust at it and tried to shake him off, but apparently Axel wasn't having it. His grip only tightened.

"Ah, ah, ah, Angel, you're coming with us." He smirked, and Demyx followed suit, making shivers run down my back. I had a bad feeling about this. But nevertheless, I tried to sweet talk my way out of it, just like with everyone else.

"Please guys. I appreciate your concern. In fact, it makes me very happy to know that you guys care about me so much. But I need to get to my class. My first period is AP English, and I struggle quite a bit in there, so I'll need to really catch today's lesson. So please…for me? Can you let me go?"

Axel and Demyx took a look at me, shared an amazed look, and promptly dragged me down the hallway with both hands, both discussing me like I was a specimen as they walked.

"He really does learn the art of bull shitting others fairly quickly, doesn't he, Demyx?"

"Oh yeah, he definitely does. He also seems to have mastered the puppy dog eyes too."

"Dude, you're right! I was wondering why I felt like a heartless bastard when I looked at his eyes!"

"The trick is to focus on something else when he looks at you like that."

"Really? Okay, I'll-"

I scowled. They were making it hard to be nice here.

But maybe that was the point.

* * *

The two best friends had dragged me unwillingly into their "lair", or as our student body liked to call it, the "make-out spot." But according to my kidnappers, it wasn't the kissing cove until after dusk, which was when they all went their separate ways anyway. It was kind of like kindergarteners taking turns, Demyx had reasoned. That wasn't what I was focused on, though, when I first got there. There were two other figures besides us in the spot; Axel's other closest friends. And well…how did I explain this nicely?

Axel's friends were exactly like him. Brash. Overbearing. Psycho.

And very, very _opinionated_.

"So, do you like being a liar? Is it like a hobby for you? Or is it more like a job?" Larxene, the mean but beautiful blonde leader of their threesome wanted to know. She was also a senior, like Axel and Demyx, I learned, and had deemed herself the Princess of Truth. And apparently, I didn't make the cut.

"Larx! Way to be a bitch!" Demyx exclaimed chidingly, shoving her on her shoulder. She glared at him before shoving him roughly back, sending him stumbling into me. I straightened him back up gingerly with a smile before shooting it towards the blonde _bitch_.

But she didn't have to know I thought that.

"It's nice to meet you too Larxene. You _are_ quite gorgeous, aren't you?" I grinned. Axel coughed from behind me and I turned to shoot him a dangerous look. I didn't want to hear anymore out of him. Larxene blushed and began to primp.

"Oh, you think so? I wasn't sure these bangs were doing it, but I really appreciate your-" Almost as soon as she started, she stopped, pausing almost as if a light bulb had just went off. She narrowed her eyes at me. "Oh, you're _good_."

I frowned. "What do you mean? I'm only being honest and-"

"And _this_ is Zexion. He's kind of a sexy mystery, or so I hear. Girls are always infatuated with him because they think the emo thing is in." Axel explained to me with a smirk, grabbing my hand and tugging me mid-sentence over to a small slate haired boy. He gazed up at me, and I was struck with how beautiful he was. If Axel was sexy, Larxene was gorgeous and Demyx was cute, Zexion was beautiful. I smiled at him.

"Hi, I'm Roxas." I introduced myself, holding out a hand for him to shake. He squinted his eyes at me and studied me intently. So intently in fact, that my smile kind of froze and I dropped my hand. Um…what? I glanced over at Axel in confusion.

"Zexion has a way of seeing right through people." He explained in response to my bewildered expression, my hand still in his. I looked back at Zexion. He was now watching me in curiosity, his inspection seemingly over with.

"Sorry." Zexion murmured, and his voice was almost angelic. His gaze bored into me. "For everything."

I suddenly felt very exposed. For everything…? Was he referring to my past? How would he even know about it? Maybe Axel was right; maybe he did have a way of seeing through others. It was kind of…I don't know, disturbing?

"You'll have to meet everyone else later. They're all in class right now. But maybe, lunch, maybe?" Axel offered hopefully, and I suddenly felt like a jerk for having to let him down. What would people say about me, Roxas, sitting next to a sex pot like Axel during lunch? But…I considered, taking a look at the way Axel was looking at me and feeling my heart pound painfully…maybe I could sit with them, at least for a little while.

"Well…" I hedged, looking away from his pleading green eyes. He was just so persuasive…I was slightly surprised he'd taken the pouting route and not the convincing, sexy route. Maybe he was trying to show me that he was willing to behave?

"Okay." I finally allowed, and Demyx and Axel broke out in cheers. I couldn't help it; I grinned and laughed. And what surprised me even more was that it was…genuine. I glanced at Zexion. He was watching me again with that same look of curiosity, but now it was mixed with…encouragement.

I don't know, it kind of made me feel…good. And that was something I hadn't felt in a long time.

* * *

After that, Axel had walked me back to class, insisting that he was, in fact, a gentleman. I don't know if I believed _that_, but I _was_ having some difficulty ignoring the way he made me feel. Every unexpected glance from that face, and my knees turned to jelly. Every accidental touch made me break out in shivers. And the worst part? He _noticed_.

"You know Angel," He drawled as we walked slowly to my AP English class, "I still don't understand why you're playing so hard to get. It's obvious you find me attractive. So what's the problem?"

I sputtered indignantly, ignoring the slow blush that was coating my face. "Where did you get _that_ idea?" But I really shouldn't have said that. I was only giving him permission to call me out on my already noted reactions.

"Oh I don't know, besides the fact that you're acting like you're totally _wired_?" He laughed. "Whenever I touch you, you practically jump ten feet in the air and start blushing. And all I do is _look_ at you, and you have to clutch the lockers to keep your balance."

I glared at him and prepared to chew him out, but the light from the window hit my face, giving me a reminder. A warning. I was supposed to be the angel. The good boy.

"Thank you for liking me, Axel, but I can't say I return the feelings. As for your observations, I don't know what you're talking about. But thanks for pointing them out. I'll be sure to work on that." I said kindly, and he suddenly sighed in annoyance.

"Don't get all nice on me, Angel. I already told you, I'm looking for someone real. And real people don't just get all nice and sweet like they turned on a switch." He told me, running a hand through his unruly red spikes in irritation. I glared back at him.

"If you don't think I'm real, why are you interested in me? Obviously I don't match your standards, so what is it that you want from me?! Why are you pursuing me?" I demanded, struggling to keep my tone under control.

Axel narrowed his eyes and looked like he was about to say something, but one look at me and he faltered. He winced. "I…uh…"

That was the last straw for my control.

"You don't even know _why_ you want me to go out with you? What, do you think my feelings are some kind of joke?! You know what, forget it. I don't even want to waste my breath talking about your obvious ignorance and stupidity. Do you think making me mad is _funny_? Do you think that I'm your goddamn source of entertainment? Well I'm _not_! I'm much more than that!"

And with that, I stomped down the hall away from him, stopping only until I was in front of my classroom door. Suddenly I felt the familiar emotion of guilt bare down on me. My face cleared of its scowl, and I stared down at my shoes in a sudden wave of shame.

I looked back down the hall. Axel was still standing where I left him, running another hand through his spikes and cursing something to himself. I bit my lip. Really, I shouldn't have done that. I'm not supposed to hurt people's feelings like that anymore.

"Axel." I called down to him. He looked up in bewilderment and curiosity.

"I'll see you at lunch."

Even from my distance, I could see Axel's hand fall to his side and his alluring green eyes roll in a sudden rush of exasperation. He waved me off and turned around to walk back down to his own first period.

"Go to class, Angel, and stop being so goddamn nice."

* * *

"Axel Highwind, probably the most disliked yet secretly yearned for senior of the entire islands right now, is staring at you." Olette whispered to me, sounding amazed and in awe of me. I sighed and slumped farther down in my seat.

It was lunch time, which meant that I was supposed to go over there and sit with them, as promised. But...now that everyone was watching me, expecting me to be the victim and be the innocent little Roxas they all expected, my courage was being shaken.

And right now, staying right where I was sitting next to Olette and Hayner at our lunch table sounded like a better plan.

"If I pretend like I don't see him, he'll stop." I reasoned to her, taking a bite out of my peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I was acting like it didn't faze me, but in truth, knowing he was watching me like this kind of thrilled me. But that didn't mean I liked him or anything. Who would like _him_?

Uh_, everyone,_ a tiny voice in my head pointed out.

But not right now. At least not out in the open. It seemed to be a school-wide snubbing in effect for him right now out of respect for my "attack." I don't know who started that rumor, but it was definitely unneeded. Now everyone hated him, and it only made me feel like an asshole, which didn't help when I was trying to act like a Good Samaritan.

Hayner peered over at me in irritation. "Go tell him to stop. It's so fucking _rude_ to stare like that."

I sighed deeper and lifted up my sandwich to hide my face. Maybe that would put a damper in his ocular fire. Pence just lifted an eyebrow at me and said, "Uh, now he's laughing at you."

"So are you going to like, kick his ass for being a perv, or are you just going to look the other wawy?" Hayner finally asked in frustration after a moment of silence, and Olette gasped and smacked him on the arm. "What? It's not like he hasn't before!"

I sat my sandwich down slowly and stared down stormily at my food. He was right. I totally _had_ done that before.

"Hayner! Now look! Don't you remember? Roxas isn't like that anymore! He's trying to be a good person now!" Olette hissed. Hayner bit his lip and looked ashamed in himself for a second before getting defensive.

"Well…it's not my fault! I think I liked it better when he was acting like himself than the sugary angel he's pretending to be now!" He shouted, and I finally looked up at him. He was glaring down at me angrily, but now I could see a trace of something in his eyes.

But my instincts won over my maternal side, and I glared back at him, not even noticing that we had more than a few spectators. "What's your _problem_?" I demanded.

"You're my problem! Since when can you beat someone up almost to death one day and then be a perfect little angel the next! It's not a fucking faucet, Roxas!" Hayner yelled, and I froze. Actually, I think everyone froze.

Olette stood up shakily and glared pointedly at Hayner. "That's a lie, and you know it Hayner!"

That seemed to thaw out everyone who was staring at me like I was a murderer. They all switched their glares to Hayner now, who had sat down, seemingly surprised in himself for his outburst.

"Whatever." He murmured angrily, but I could tell he was really ashamed in himself. But what did I care? He almost gave out my secret to the entire school. Some best friend.

I grabbed my brown paper bag lunch and stood up from our table, shouldering my backpack and packing up my stuff, even though there was a whole twenty minutes left of lunch.

"Wait, where are you going, Roxas?" Pence asked in concern, and Olette mirrored his expression. I looked down at Hayner. He didn't even look up. Well, that settled that.

"I'm going to sit somewhere else. With people who don't give away my secrets." I snapped, and Hayner did look up at that, only it was a glower. I stalked off, ignoring all the sets of eyes who watched me, and finally found myself in front of Axel's table. It was the second fullest table in the lunch room, second only to _my _normal table, which had half of the lunch goers at it.

"Can I sit with you?" I asked them quietly, averting my eyes from Larxene's knowing gaze and the rest of the people I didn't know. Demyx grinned at me.

"You said you would, didn't you? Here, have a sit! Have a sit!" He enthused, scooting over so I could sit between him and Axel. The sexy red head merely winked at me before going back to copying the answers off of what looked like Zexion's paper.

"People are staring at you. They're probably wondering why a goody two-shoe like you is sitting with a bunch of shunned losers like us. That rumor about Axel attacking you got us completely shut out from the rest of the student body, you know." Larxene sneered at me, but I think she was only kidding. I think.

Axel didn't think so at least. "Leave my Angel alone, he didn't start the fucking rumors, alright? And no one gets to tease him but me, got it memorized?"

"Yeah guys, you'd better leave the perfect angel alone, because according to that prep in the cargo, he might beat us up to a bloody pulp!" Some blonde guy with one earring in his ear and a strange accent jibed, causing most of the table's inhabitants to laugh.

I began to shake. They didn't know _anything_. They didn't even _know_ me. How _dare_ they-

"Shut the fuck up, Luxord, you don't know him at all. Just because _you're_ unconfident in yourself doesn't mean you have to use someone who you believe is perfect to harp on so you seem cooler in comparison." Zexion snapped. My eyes widened. Zexion…talks?

"Ooooh! Dissed by my cute little scholar!" Demyx cried out, grinning wildly at "Luxord." I blinked. Wait, was Demyx dating Zexion?

"Dem and Zex are an item, Angel. They're kind of a big deal." Axel explained in my ear at my confused look. "We call them Zemyx."

"Why? And don't call me Angel."

"Eh…I dunno, really. I guess it's because it's cute. Kind of like you, when you're mad and screaming at me. Like today, for instance." Axel joked, but he was actually right. I really had blown up at him. Twice.

I opened my mouth to apologize, but he anticipated it and beat me to the punch.

"You're sorry, yeah, I know. Now that that's over with, I should introduce you to the people who just laughed at you." Axel smirked. I couldn't help the small smile that tugged at my lips. Axel was out there; way over the top. But at least it never got boring with him around, even if he did make me angry easily.

I soon learned that the rest of Axel's friends were all considerably psycho, like him, but kind of made up this…well, organization for lack of better words, with their outlandish personalities. The first person Axel introduced me to was Marluxia, a pink haired Abercrombie and Fitch model who was very sneaky and liked to prank on people. He was very opinionated, like Larxene, only he seemed to be the leader of the pack due to his outgoing nature. (Unlike Larxene…)

Then I met Luxord, the British guy who'd made the crack at me. As it turned out, he was very silly, kind of like Demyx, only he liked to gamble all of the time, and he was a wee bit more serious. He was best friends with Saix and Xigbar, who I'd had yet to meet, because 

they had already graduated. Xaldin was the weird guy with side burns, who didn't really talk much, but when he did say something, it was usually very colorful and sarcastic. Lexeaus was the final senior of the bunch, and probably the nicest of them all. He was big, as in, burly, muscled big, and he had a very brotherly feel to him.

Some other friends of theirs were at the table- Paine, Lulu, and about five others- but the impression I got was that they were not in the exclusive group of "organization" members.

"And this, guys, is Roxas Strife, AKA Angel. And it's our duty as his new closest friends to get him to loosen up, take off the fake halo, and be himself." Axel finished, tossing me a smirk at my dropped jaw from the last part. "Angel, say hi."

I growled at him. And then I remembered I was being watched. I gave them all a merry smile I usually reserved for introductions like this. "Hello! As Axel introduced, my name is _Roxas_, and I'm a sophomore here. It's really nice to meet you."

Demyx slipped a Nacho cheese Dorito in his mouth loudly, so loudly that we could hear the crack of the chip from his teeth. "Doesn't it get tiring, Roxas, pretending to be nice all of the time?"

Lexeaus shot me an incredulous look. "_Tiring_? Forget exhaustion, don't you get lonely?"

Axel threw his arms up dramatically. "Thank you! That's exactly what_ I_ asked him!"

I felt like hitting myself in the forehead with a four ton brick made of cheese. This wasn't funny anymore; now all of his friends were starting to think I was some kind of a phony. That really isn't fair, either. I didn't do a thing to Axel! Why was he attacking me like this?!

"Okay, well, I think I'm going to leave now. I have something else I need to do. So if you'll excuse me, I-" I started, standing up, before Axel grabbed my wrist and pulled me back down. He gave me an exhausted look.

"Oh sit down, Angel, no one is judging you. Besides," he looked away awkwardly, "I like having you sit by me. I want you to stay."

I stared at him as his cheeks stained a bright, rosy red, and almost immediately blushed myself. We both averted our eyes from each other. Man, oh man, how did I get myself into this mess? It was obvious that he was serious about dating me…but then why was I still here?

"Okay." I mumbled in spite of myself, unable to resist a blushing Axel. Then I looked up. Minus Axel, who was still averting his eyes in embarrassment, everyone at the table was staring knowingly at us. I frowned. What was going through those judgmental minds of theirs…?

"So…" I started, desperately trying to think of something to say to get them to stop looking at me like that. Axel looked up at me, all traces of embarrassment having melted away. Great, now he was staring at me too! Think Roxas, think! "Axel, all those girls who used to want to sleep with you kind of hate you now, huh?"

I meant to say it teasingly, but unfortunately I think it might have come out sounding petty and jealous. Which I was not! Really!

Demyx laughed from next to me. "Girls? Please, Axel has been stuck on the same person for like, the last five years. And that person is-"

"Axel has just been keeping his options open." Zexion quickly butt in, covering Demyx's mouth with his hand and giving him a pointed look. "Nothing to be envious of, Roxas."

I blushed again. "Hey, I never said I was-"

"You know, I_ do_ have a voice. And a very sexy one, if I do say so myself…but the point is, I'm right here, you know." Axel interjected with a whine. Then he turned to me. "Come on Angel, I'll answer your question as we walk to AP Combat."

My eyes widened. Whoa, school was practically over now! This day went by fast now that Axel was stalking me and I met his friends. Even so, I gave him a skeptical look.

"Lunch isn't even over!" I proclaimed, but just as I said it, the bell rang. I frowned. Of course.

Axel pulled me to my feet and took my books from me. "Here, I'll carry your shit for you. Now come on. We have that test next, and I'm ready!"

* * *

"So…does your question have a hidden meaning?" Axel asked me as we walked together to class. But I wasn't really listening. Everyone was staring at us! It was kind of intimidating…everyone was whispering as we passed by!

"Huh?" I finally realized Axel had spoken. "Did you say something?"

Axel smirked at me. "The gossip mill getting to you?"

I frowned. How did he know? Jeez, was I that transparent? "Maybe a little bit…" I admitted.

"I don't see why, seeing as how I'm the one that went from most sought after to most avoided." He pointed out, scratching his cheek. "Which, you know, kind of leads me back to my original question: did _your_ question have a hidden meaning?"

"No…" I lied, ignoring the wave of guilt that came flooding from the act. "I just wanted to know."

Axel was quiet for a moment, and I chanced a glance up at him. He was biting his lip, hiding his eyes from me. I furrowed an eyebrow at him. What was the matter? Did he realize that I was lying? Did that bother him or something? I instantly felt remorse for lying. Wasn't I supposed to be a good person now?

"That was a lie. I'm sorry. Forgive me?" I pleaded, looking up at him hopefully. That seemed to break him from his distance. He glanced down sharply at me and gave me a disgusted look.

"Don't ever ask me to forgive you ever again, got it memorized?" He snapped, and a sharp pain of hurt waved through me. Well that was mean! Was that necessary?! I was _just _apologizing!

"Whatever." I mumbled, and I walked faster. I was through trying to get along with him; if he was going to be a jerk like this, I didn't want to walk by his side.

"Eh?!" Axel called out in surprise, and with three long strides he was back next to me. I huffed in annoyance. Obviously I had sped away from him for a reason! He sighed. "What now? What did I do?"

"Don't ever ask me to explain something like that to you ever again, got it memorized?" I snapped at him, making him wince. "Oh." He intoned sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head. I lifted my hands in a "WTF man" gesture but remained silent.

"I wasn't trying to be mean, Angel. It's just…I don't like it when you lower yourself on my accord. It…hurts me…to see you beg like that. That is, unless it's for me to fuck you." He confessed. But I was still a little confused at that last part. What'd he say?

"Wait, what?"

"What?" He repeated quickly. I rolled my eyes. As long as what he said didn't have anything to do with anything sexual, I could deal with him.

There was a comfortable silence between us as we walked. But of course, Axel just had to break it, just as we approached the gym.

"No, it doesn't bother me. Actually, to be honest, Angel, I only flirted with those girls to impress you." He admitted. My mouth dropped. What?! "I mean, sure, there were one or two girls I genuinely liked, but…they didn't amount to you."

I blushed. I didn't like talking about his feelings like this. It made me…I don't know, kind of uncomfortable. But it also made me blissfully happy, and that was the emotion that really scared me the most.

He opened the door for me, bowing like a gentleman, and now that I was in the public eye of my peers, I laughed blissfully and smiled. I heard a couple of onlookers coo, and I felt a sense of smugness wash over me. Axel rolled his eyes but returned the expression.

"That's right; enjoy it while you can, Angel. Because once I'm through with you, you'll never act perfect again."

* * *

When the bell rang, I couldn't even find the energy to move. None of us could, really. That three chapter test was the single hardest thing I had ever taken. And against Axel no less. When he had told me to enjoy it while I could, I didn't know what he meant. But I know now. I think maybe he planned to _beat_ the perfection out of me!

Axel collapsed on my desk in front of me, and I didn't have the strength to push him off. "I don't think I can make it to the bus." I breathed, watching with half-closed eyes as the class all exited the room. The bell had rung bout three minutes ago, so if I planned to ride it, I needed to make my way down there now.

"I got you, Angel, I can give you a ride." Axel offered, finally managing his breath and sitting up. He swung his legs on each side of the desk so now I was sitting in between his legs, practically eye level with his crouch.

"Um…" I hedged, tearing my eyes from the fairly large bulge in his pants and raising my gaze to his face. He was smirking knowingly at me. "I'm not sure my brother would like that. He's already pretty suspicious of you due to what everyone's saying."

Axel leaned in closer to me, and I think I stopped breathing all together. "Do you always do everything your brother says, Angel?"

"He wants what's best for me." I murmured, gazing down at his lips. A light pink tongue darted out to slowly lick seductive, parted lips. A soft groan of desire bubbled in the back of my throat.

"I know what's best for you." He whispered back seductively, and on their own accord, my lips moved to meet his…closer, closer, almost there…just as my lips met his, with the feeling of skin on skin, he moved his head away!

I stared at him, pouting, but he just laughed shakily and grabbed my books. "Ah, not yet, Angel, not yet. Anyway, come on. Let's get you home."

And with that, my second school encounter with Axel was over, leaving me regretful, embarrassed…

And wanting more.

* * *

**I apologize for any mistakes, I think I got most of them, but if I miss any, sorry. So...? Do you like it? Expect an update soon, I'll try to finish the next part of this fairly quickly, but I'm also working on my other one-shot as well, along with school, so it might be a little while. Or it might be soon. You never know when inspiration strikes!**

**Feedback would be much appreciated! Reviews feed my inspiration monster.**


	2. Crush Crush Crush

**Hey everyone! I'm finally back with an update! Part two! Everybody say yeah! Yeah! Say yeah! Yeeeeeeaaaah!**

**Okay. Moving on. ^^**

**Just a couple of things brought up in the reviews (and they were all wonderful and very much appreciated! thank you, my loves!) that I wanted to adress. 1). As much as I toyed with the idea once someone mentioned it, Roxas is NOT a real angel. Whenever someone calls him that, they are speaking metaphorically; it represents someone who prides themselves on being "good." 2.) Roxas is "mary-sue" sometimes for a reason. Wait for the final installment to find out why! :) 3.) The "light from the window" thing also has a purpose besides being-as someone put it-"annoyingly cliche." Just gotta stay tuned to understand! :D**

**That's all! Please enjoy the second piece! :)**

* * *

The questions and comments didn't surprise me.

"_Hey Roxas, can you give me some advice on coming out to my mom?"_

"_Roxas, we want to do a story on you for the magazine for the Most Well-Liked award!"_

"_Can you tell me how to get back with my girlfriend?"_

"_What are the sweetest things to say when you're trying to romance someone?"_

"_You're so charming, Roxas. You're such an angel!"_

No, what was surprising, more to myself than to anyone else…

I liked being with Axel. As friends, I mean. He was funny, sarcastic, and, if circumstances had been differently, he'd be my ideal guy. _But_, because I was who I was, and he was who he was, we'd never work romantically. Sometimes, though, late at night, I liked to imagine a place where I could just give in to my sexual fantasies.

And then I would slap myself.

Honestly, for the last three weeks, I was being torn between really wanting to hang out with Axel, and wanting for him to just leave me alone and let me simmer in my image. And okay, lately I had been starting to think about what he said all of time…

"_It has to get lonely like this. When you become everybody's angel, no one can see the real you."_

People had been coming up to me all day, like always, and asking for advice and giving me compliments, but…this time, it bothered me. This time the looks of disgust from Larxene worried me and every time Demyx interrupted someone pestering me, I felt…relieved. Little by little, I was changing. And I...didn't mind.

"Hey Rox, you want to go teepee old Maleficent's house?"

Well, let's not get too carried away.

I stared at Pence as if he were crazy. Teepee the old crazy lady's house? I may be kinda sorta agreeing with Axel now, but that didn't mean I was ready to lose my reputation. That was still pretty important to me. Besides that, how did Pence even know I was starting to revert back to my old ways?

I'm not sure if he realized that I've been getting rides from Axel every day for the past two weeks, but something was different in the little coy smiles he gave me every now and then. And Olette had even stopped blushing whenever Axel passed by us. Jeez…I wish I had that privilege.

Axel still seemed to be sweeping me off of my feet. More so now that he had a car…

_November_

"Hey Roxas, are you going on the bus today? You haven't been on there for like, two weeks." Kairi, basically Sora and Riku's best friend, wanted to know, stopping with Selphie at my locker. I'd been rushing as I packed my bag, but now I slowed down, glancing at her before focusing all of my attention back to choosing which books I needed. It was better to stay focused on the task at hand, that way the lie would come effortlessly.

At least, that's what I was telling myself.

"Uh no, I'm getting a ride." I tried answering confidently, but my voice cracked on _ride_, completely shattering my cool image_._ Oh crap, cracked voices were only found in two types of people: boys going through puberty and liars! And I was both!

Kairi nodded, even though she looked kind of confused about something, but Selphie jumped in front of me, clumsily losing her balance and bumping into me, sending me sprawling onto the floor. And to add insult to injury, my books all fell from my locker.

This, my friends, was a daily product of Selphie's personality.

Or maybe this was karma.

No, no, it was definitely Selphie.

"Oh, I'm so sorry Roxas! Let me help you!" She cried, making a sudden jerk in my general direction, and I couldn't help it, I flinched and held up my hands in a surrendering position.

"No, no! Stay back! I'll do it myself!" I said jokingly, trying not to hurt her feelings. Truth is, that girl is a klutz! I'd rather not be here all day, missing my ride with Axel, just to pack up my books.

But I guess it was better than being seen with Axel in the first place.

"Hey Angel, what's taking you so long?"

And just as if he was beckoned, Axel appeared by my side, in the flesh, looking just as sexy as ever in his black leather jacket and sunglasses. Kairi, Selphie and I all simultaneously blushed as the red head bent down in front of us to pick up my books. If he bended down some more, I could _just_ see that perfect ass of his-

"Well, Roxas?" Selphie asked me heatedly, and I quickly looked up and unintentionally into Axel's mesmerizing green eyes. He was smirking at me knowingly, and I hurriedly turned to Selphie. She looked kind of pissed.

"Uh…what?" I coughed, and out of the corner of my eyes I could see Axel trying to hold in a chuckle. I nudged him sharply with my elbow. If we were going to keep hanging out, he was going to have to learn how to _shut up_ when we were in the vicinity of my friends.

"I asked you why Axel is talking to you. Are you guys friends now or something?" Selphie asked suspiciously. Kairi looked down at her shoes as if they were the most interesting things in the world. Jeez, why were those two so angry today? I mean, it wasn't like-

Oh. I forgot. That rumor thing from a few weeks back.

Like most rumors that haven't been directly addressed, the whole "Axel-forced-Roxas-to-make-out-with-him" thing faded with time. People just sort of forgot about it. And since I had done nothing to indicate that it was true, everyone kind of just went on their merry way.

But of course, my friends _refused_ to forget. And I didn't know how to tell them the truth without revealing that making out with Axel was secretly what I _wanted_.

"Would that be a fucking problem for you?" Axel demanded, resting against the locker next to mine, folding his arms and his ankles and glaring over at Selphie. "I don't recall you being his mom."

"Uh, yeah, I do believe it _would_ be a problem for me. And I may not be his mom, but I am his friend. And friends don't let friends talk to the guy who sexually attacked him and made him cry!" Selphie snapped, putting her hands on her hips. Anger flared inside of me for a second as I regarded her darkly before I quickly tucked the emotion back in. It wouldn't help to get mad at her for something she didn't even understand.

Still, I couldn't stand how my friends were treating Axel. Especially when he didn't do anything wrong. Except annoy me and piss me off.

"Look, I don't know who the fuck you are, but-" Axel began scathingly, but I took his hand and ran my thumb along the back of it comfortingly. That stopped him. He, along with Selphie and Kairi, stared down at our intertwined hands quizzically.

"Roxas, what are you-" Kairi began softly, faltering when I shut my locker sharply. I gave the two girls a forced, tight-lipped smile.

"He's my friend, okay? I like him." I announced to them abruptly. There. That should stop the two of them from judging him too harshly. I snuck a glance at Axel. A cocky, goofy grin was spreading on his face. Oh great, he probably thought I meant as in _like_ like.

"As a friend, of course." I added in for his benefit, but I'm pretty sure he wasn't listening to me anymore at all.

"Come on Angel, we can't be late." Axel suddenly announced with a little laugh, and took my arm, dragging me down the hall. I stared up at him. What was he talking about _now_?

"Late for what?" I demanded, pulling my arm out of his roughly. Unfortunately that had an opposite effect. Axel grinned down at me even more, efficiently giving me a helpless attitude. God, everything I did was so backwards with this guy!

"I'm taking you on a date." He replied easily, holding open the doors for me. I peered over at him in horror. What? No he was _not_.

"Hell no! I wouldn't go out on a date with you if you were the last guy on earth! Actually, more than that, if you were the last guy on earth and there were no apple pies and socks to satisfy me!" I snapped, and Axel stopped completely in the parking lot. I stopped too. Uh oh, I wasn't watching what I was saying. Damn it, did I go too far?

"Did you really just say that?" Axel asked in disbelief. I eyed him cautiously before pleadingly taking his hand.

"Yes, and I'm sorry. I only meant-" But I paused when I saw that Axel didn't look mad. He just looked…

Amused.

"I didn't realize how funny you were." He laughed, continuing to walk and keeping my hand in his. "Wow, I'll bet most people don't even know that about you."

I scowled at him as I opened his car door after he unlocked it. Who did he think he was, saying that to me? Was that supposed to be an insult? "Yes they do."

"I don't think they do." Axel disagreed, winking over at me. "Seat belt."

I rolled my eyes and clipped my belt in. What was he, my mom? But these weren't nice thoughts. I mean, he was giving me a ride and everything for free. I should try and be nicer like I was supposed to be.

"Okay, I'll let you take me out on a date. Where are you taking me?" I asked him with practiced pleasantness and politeness. His smile lost some of its amusement, and now he kind of looked annoyed.

"Could you _not_ be like that for a while?" He finally sighed, pulling out of the parking lot and onto the interstate. The interstate? Just where exactly were we going?

I glared at him. "Like what? Like myself?"

In return, he tossed me a small smile. "Is that too much to ask? I like Roxas better than Angel."

"Does that mean you'll stop calling me that?"

"Not a chance."

It was quiet as we drove further down the road, Axel's mesmerizing green eyes watching the cars in front and behind us like a good driver. The silence becoming uncomfortable, I racked my brain for something to say. Just say something! Anything!

"It's Friday." I blurted loudly, wincing as soon as the words left my mouth. Great job. Now the guy probably thought I was a weird, split personality-having idiot. Axel glanced over quickly at me, giving me an odd look before returning his eyes to the road.

"How very perceptive of you." He commented, a smirk forming on his face. "I don't suppose you happen to know what day tomorrow is."

I scowled at him. "Shut up. I was just trying to break the uncomfortable silence."

Axel chuckled slightly as he took one of the exits on the road. "I wasn't aware that our silence was uncomfortable. That sexy body of yours was speaking for you."

I gasped and shot him a murderous glare. I couldn't believe he just said that! "Was that a come-on? Were you just…hitting on me?"

Axel burst out laughing as we pulled into a dirty area. "What, never happened to you before?" At my appalled silence, he added, "Do you expect me to apologize for your inexperience? Okay, how about this: I apologize for thinking that your body is absolutely perfect, and I apologize for imagining it curl around mine in pleasure."

At his seductively murmured words, my pants got tighter and my toes curled in my shoes. Oh God, this guy was going to steal my will power with just a couple of sentences! Ignoring my traitorous body, I slapped my forehead and shook my head at him.

"Look-"

"Yes?" He replied attentively, stopping the car and turning to me with perfect concentration. I found myself so tongue-tied at his green eyes staring so intensely into mine that I completely forgot what I was going to say.

"I don't know what I was saying." I muttered sheepishly, biting my lip. But this time, I didn't look away. I was tired of pretending as if Axel's advances weren't working. I was tired of pretending that I didn't like him, or like all the attention he was giving me.

Our lips, on their own, began to slowly gravitate towards each other, like magnets, and something inside of me cheered in relief, until-

"Wait a minute, who am I about to kiss right now? Angel…or Roxas?" Axel asked suddenly, giving me a meaningful look, and any sort of amiable feeling towards him vanished. I could _not_ believe he was still pulling this crap! Even now, when we were having a moment! Well…I mean…not a moment, but…I don't know, it was something!

"Ugh…I'm _me_, dammit!" I snapped, and opened my mouth to say something that would make a sailor blush when a sudden face slammed against Axel's window. The redhead next to me just sighed and held up a rude finger to the face before leaning back and looking at me seriously. I gulped. Uh oh, I take it he didn't appreciate being cussed at.

"Roxas." He said, and that's when I really knew I was going to get it. He _never_ called me Roxas. "Give me a break. The more I like you, the harder a time I have distinguishing the New You and the Old You. Don't take this the wrong way, but you're like a fucking safe. It's hard to get to know you."

It got painfully silent. Outside, a couple of squirrels glanced over at us, still in the car, with curious little eyes. I sat, unable to meet his eyes, in disbelief. Was I that hard to get to know? Then I thought about it. Well, it probably was hard getting to know someone who didn't even know themselves. But what did he expect _me_ to do about it?

"I don't know-" I began, but when I looked up, Axel's serious look was completely gone and was now replaced with laughter as he made funny faces at the person on the other side of the window. My sincere expression melted into a scowl. Here I was, seriously contemplating his words, when he was over there just fooling around!

What was I thinking, agreeing to this? And what was going to happen when I got home? Kairi and Selphie would no doubt tell Sora about having seen me leaving with Axel, and since it was obvious that I wasn't going home anytime soon, he would know I was with him. Great.

Embarrassed by his words, nervous about Sora, and most of all, annoyed at his inattention, I shut my eyes and mumbled, "I think maybe our date is over."

I had half-expected that he wouldn't have heard me considering how low my voice was, but when it came to Axel, I was proven wrong. Again. He swirled to face me, completely ignoring the face on the outside of the car; he even went so far as to slam his palm against the glass to block that person's view of us.

"What? Why?" He whined, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. "You can't want to leave already."

"Uh yeah, I think I do. I don't even know why I came; it's obvious that you're more interested in making faces at your friend than trying to figure out what this is between us." I sighed, irritation making me exhausted. I always felt exhausted when I had to talk to Axel.

Axel's face fell. "That's not true, Angel! That person out there is my brother, okay, and I brought you here to meet him."

I stared at him blankly. "Really?"

"Really!" He rushed to assure me, "I would never take you all the way out here just to ignore you. Except…I kind of did. I'm sorry. I promise that I'll pay complete attention to you now."

Looking into those eyes, I realized that I couldn't deny this sexy man of anything. "Okay."

He grinned and palmed my face, leaning in towards me. My breath hitched. "Okay." He repeated with a reassuring nod. "Now, let's introduce you to my brother, Reno!"

Wait, what? Reno? Just where the hell was I, anyway? Oh man…I thought Reno was living in Radiant Garden or someplace like that with his boyfriend Rude! I slowly got out of the car, shutting my eyes and taking a couple of deep breaths before I finally appeared from around the corner of the car.

"Reno, I want you to meet my friend, Angel, otherwise known as Roxas Strife." Axel introduced me, pulling me in front of him to face his brother. Reno raised an eyebrow at Axel before glancing down at me. A shocked silence ensued. Oh great, like this wasn't awkward enough without Reno speaking.

"Wait…your special friend is _Roxas_? Like, Cloud's little brother?" Reno snorted in surprise, grabbing my hand and pulling me towards him. "Come here, babe, and give me a hello smooch."

Just as Reno's lips were about to touch mine, I was jerked backwards and into Axel's chest. I peered up at him, trying to ignore the warmth of his body and his intoxicating scent. He looked really pissed.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Axel demanded angrily, glaring at his older brother. "You just met the guy and now you're going around demanding kisses? Get a fucking grip, will you?"

Reno laughed and tugged me back into his arms. He grabbed my chin and used it to yank my face up to look at him. "Didn't you tell him, Roxas?"

Axel was practically foaming at the mouth. "Tell me what?"

I sighed in frustration. See, this is exactly why I was trying to be a good person now. Because of situations like this; inevitably someone always ended up hurt. I bit my lip and winced. Ah crap, I bit it all the way through. Like I wasn't suffering enough!

"I, um…we used to, well…uh…" Oh god, this was painful! Maybe if I lied and accused Reno of making up shit, Axel would believe me! Yeah, you know what, Axel _would_ believe me! But just as I opened my mouth to form a good excuse, I noticed a small beam of light coming from somewhere to my left. It hit me hard. I couldn't lie to this guy. Axel was too important to lie to, and it would only make me a terrible person.

"We used to kind of…do it." I admitted, steeling myself for Axel's wrath. He stared at me, his face a mix between amusement and confusion.

"You kind of used to…do it." He repeated, a bemused expression taking hold on his face. I scratched the back of my head awkwardly. Aw jeez…

"Yeah…"

Reno ran a hand through my spikes, causing me to flinch from the familiarity of his touch. "Don't sound so ashamed…"

Axel's face fell as he realized what I was saying. My heart beat rose to an alarmingly unhealthy pace as I wrestled with the possibility that Axel might completely lose interest in me. Would I care?

…Yes.

Axel suddenly snatched me back from Reno and pushed me behind him so he was covering me from Reno's view. Giving Reno an annoyed glower, he grunted, "It doesn't matter…he's mine now."

My heart swelled so fast that it was kind of alarming. I didn't think his opinion mattered so much to me. But it did. It really did.

Reno smirked at me. "Isn't that his decision?"

I coughed as Axel's expression worsened to murderous. I needed to diffuse this situation, and it needed to happen pronto.

"Axel, I'm ready for our date. I'm completely yours for the day!" I blurted with a nervous laugh. Then I almost immediately blushed. That wasn't helping at all!

But apparently, Axel's attention was diverted. He grinned goofily at me, before promptly dragging me away, ignoring Reno's indignant, "Hey!" and yanking me towards a building.

Once we were far enough away from Reno, I jerked out of his grip. "Just because I said all that doesn't mean I'm yours, you know."

Axel rolled his eyes. "Right."

"I'm not!" I insisted, right on his heels. "I'm a free bird."

Now Axel snorted. "Yeah, okay. And just who else are you interested in, Angel?"

I turned an even deeper shade of red. Well…no one. But that didn't mean I was ready to admit that I was interested in him!

"I'm not interested in anyone, including you!" I declared, walking ahead of him. He laughed out loud at that.

"Who do you think you're kidding?" He laughed, but grabbed my hand anyway and led me towards the nearest building, which happened to be a McMickeys. It was a really popular burger joint for teens my age.

I allowed Axel to lead me inside as I began fumbling nervously with my hoodie. This was a really bad idea, and now I'd let myself be convinced to stay when I clearly had an opportunity to get back home before anything bad happened.

Well, wasn't this just pleasant.

"Why did you choose McMickeys to have a date in, anyway?" I asked, trying to settle the butterflies in my stomach. "Wouldn't a restaurant be more elegant?"

Axel laughed and grabbed my hand, giving it a little kiss. I blushed, and a familiar fire went rushing down my body. "It's cheap and fun, and it doesn't mind if I kiss your hand."

I looked around in surprise. All of the couples sitting inside were gay or lesbian pairings. "It's a gay-friendly establishment?"

The redhead winked at me. "It sure is. This area is one of the best kept secrets—everything around is open-minded and doesn't discriminate. So I figured this would be the best place for a date. And also…I'm kind of broke right now."

Despite myself, I smiled as I scanned the menu. "Alright. I guess I'll get a—HAYNER!" I cried, leaping out of the line and scrambling under the counter, ignoring all of the weird stares and the dirty, fallen food scattered around me. Because Hayner, my best friend Hayner to whom I hadn't told I was hanging with Axel now, was _working_ there!

"Uh, Angel, what are you doing?" Axel wanted to know as a smirk lit up his face. "Are we role playing?"

"Of course not!" I hissed, glaring at him. "This isn't a game! This is my life we're talking about!"

Axel tilted his head at me. "Is this the part where I ask you what's going on?"

I mouthed the word H-A-Y-N-E-R and pointed above me to the counter where Hayner was lazily taking orders. Axel's smirk faded and now he just looked annoyed. "Who cares?"

Uh, I did! I cared a lot about Hayner, despite it being three weeks since I had last spoken to him. I wasn't really mad anymore about him having almost told the whole school my secret, but I wasn't going to be the one to hedge first. He needed to know that I had trusted him and what he almost did was not cool.

But still…I didn't want to hurt him by showing up with Axel. If he knew that for the past three weeks I had been hanging out with Axel, he would be so pissed and hurt that he would probably never talk to me again! And I may be able to deal with three weeks, but forever was just too long without my best friend.

"I care! Just…order your food to go; I'll meet you in the car." I ordered, not paying attention to the little girl who screamed upon seeing me hiding beneath the counter. "Please, Axel."

The redhead sighed at me, annoyed, before walking up to the counter. I couldn't see what they looked like, but I could hear what they were saying.

Hayner: Welcome to McMickeys, may I take your—oh. It's _you_ again.

Axel: Hell yeah it's me. Now, I would like a-

Hayner: How does it feel, attacking someone who doesn't want you?

Axel (sounding offended): I didn't attack him. I haven't done anything to him that he hasn't wanted.

Oh god, did Axel really just say that? I mean, it was true, but it just sounded so…sexual, somehow.

Hayner: Yeah right! Roxas would never want you!

Axel: Oh, and he'd want you?

Hayner (sounding flustered): I-I mean…I never asked him to!

Axel (laughing now): Oh sure, because it's so obvious that you just want to remain friends! Please. I see the puppy dog eyes you always give him.

Alright, enough was enough. I really didn't want to do this but…I didn't like hearing two of my good friends fighting over me when I was right there. Besides, they were getting it all wrong! Dusting myself off, I stood up and shakily waved at my friend, pretending as if I couldn't see Axel standing right behind me.

"Heeeeeey, Hayner." I greeted warily as my voice shook. "I didn't know you worked here now."

Hayner's eyes jumped from me to Axel to me again. They narrowed suspiciously. "There are a lot of things you don't know about me anymore."

That comment really hit me in the heart. Hayner was my best friend! Best friends knew everything about each other, that's why I told him everything that had happened in the past. That's why I trusted him. "Hayner, look..."

"Excuse me, but are you guys going to order? I mean, hello, I'm not going to bulk up eating air!" The customer behind us whined, waving his arms in our peripheral vision. I shot him an annoyed glare. Couldn't he see that we were trying to resolve something here?

"Hayner," I started again, completely ignoring the dramatically-huffing customer, "I know what you're thinking, but…this isn't what it looks like."

Hayner scowled darkly. "What, that instead of making up with me, your best friend, you're running around with the same guy who assaulted you? Since when did you get so stupid?"

Ouch. That was a little cold, wasn't it?

"I don't like the way you're talking to him." Axel growled, pushing me behind him. I groaned. Shit. This was just going to cause Hayner to-

"Are _you_ trying to protect him from _me_? Listen asshole, I'm not the one who-"

Hayner didn't get to finish. Before the sentence got out of his mouth, a large shadow passed over his face. He stiffened. Uh oh…his manager. I cringed as the manager silently held out his hand. Hayner, his eyes on everything but me and Axel, slowly took off his uniform shirt and hat and placed it inside of his manager's hand. Then, with the coldest glare I had ever seen pointed at Axel, he slammed out of the restaurant.

The entire restaurant was silent as I slowly shut my eyes and covered my mouth. This was just like back then. Back when I lost anything and everything that got near me. Was I such a bad person that I couldn't even speak up when my best friend's job was being taken from him?

"Hey." Axel grabbed my firmly and pulled me into his arms. Those passionate green eyes stared deeply into mine, erasing all of my fears within that look and reassuring me of something that I had never been reassured of before.

That I wasn't alone.

His grip slid down my arm and wrapped around to my hand, grasping it and squeezing it tightly as he began to order our food. Something in me, something I thought I had locked away, combusted with passion. The flames licked my heart and soul, touching me from my head all the way down to my feet.

I paused. Oh God…wait…

Was I falling in love with Axel?

* * *

"So about Reno…" Axel began hesitantly as he drove me back to my house. "What exactly happened between you two?"

I sighed. We were starting to get into uncharted territory. Never had I admitted to anyone that I had been in an affair with the now-graduated school slut. How could I? It would completely tarnish me! "Axel, please."

Axel looked even more uncomfortable than I did. And that was saying something. "Did you love him? Or was it just…you needed a dick and Reno has one?"

I sputtered indignantly. Just because Reno was a slut didn't mean I was! "Of course not! Reno was just a hot guy that knew how to make me feel good about myself whenever I didn't., okay?"

"No. Not okay." Axel finally snapped, narrowing his eyes at me. "You _did_ love him, didn't you?"

"What's it matter?" I cried exasperatedly, slouching down in my seat. Axel was going to be the death of me, I swear.

Axel's hands tightened on the steering wheel and the thought occurred to me that maybe I shouldn't be antagonizing him while he was driving. I fell silent, trying to stay reasonable and clear headed. He was just asking a question. A perfectly innocent question. No need to cause an accident with my over-reacting.

"I…never loved Reno." I admitted, tugging on my seatbelt before hastening to add, "But I wasn't just in it for the sex either. I…didn't feel so lonely when I was with him. And the only way to stay with him was to give him my body. In return, he gave me his company."

Axel sighed softly before giving me a relieved little grin. "That's it? Good. I thought maybe it was something serious."

"Why?"

"Because I don't want us being together to cause drama for you…or Reno, I guess."

I shot him an annoyed look. "We're _not_ together."

Axel scoffed, sounding as if he thought my last statement was the most amusing thing I had said all day. "You talk as if it'll never happen."

"It won't."

"Please, Angel. You know we're going to get together eventually." Axel drawled, giving me a sexy smile. I blushed, and once more, my heart battered painfully against my chest. Watching my reaction, he laughed and shook his head.

"I know you want to fuck me." He muttered cockily under his breath, but I heard him. I heard him clear as day. And I was NOT having that kind of talk.

"Pull over!" I demanded, giving him my scariest expression. He raised an eyebrow at me, outright ignoring my request. Instead, he continued driving and began talking as if I hadn't said anything.

"You know, Angel," He said thoughtfully as we entered my neighborhood, "I think, given the chance, you _would_ fuck me."

My cheeks flamed from both embarrassment and anger. "That is not true!"

Axel ignored me again and went back to concentrating on driving. I slouched down in my seat again and silently seethed. He didn't know the first thing about the things that went on in my head. There was no possible way he would know that I…well, that I had thought about it.

A lot.

Not that I had intended on acting out these thoughts! They were just…fantasies.

"Given the chance, I would fuck you too." Axel murmured lowly, licking his lips and grinning while his eyes were still glued to the road. Now my face was dark crimson.

"I only…_make love_…with people I like." I informed him primly, twisting away from him in my seat. But that didn't seem to put Axel off at all. Instead, he burst out laughing.

"Reno?" He asked me incredulously, and I bit my lip. Damn it, I forgot he knew about Reno. Well, he had been an exception. I didn't particularly like him, but…he had been good enough at the time.

Finally, we pulled up to where my house was. I sighed in relief as the car came to a stop. But instead of unbuckling the seat belt and shooting out of the car as I thought I would, I found myself staring at Axel expectantly. What I was expecting, I have no clue.

What Axel did, however, was definitely not it.

"One night." He demanded, looking deep into my eyes. "One night is all I need to convince you that we belong together, Angel."

I was speechless. "I-I…I c-can't."

"Why?" Clearly, he wasn't giving up that easily.

I looked away. It's not like I didn't want to.

There was a brief silence as Axel stared intently at me, watching my reaction curiously. Finally, he leaned back in his seat, breaking out into an easy grin. "So you're not saying you don't want to…you're just saying you're not ready."

"I didn't _say_ anything!" I protested, but he just laughed, clearly already sure in his deduction. I huffed and unbuckled my seat belt. Ridiculous. He was so ridiculous.

And right.

But he didn't need to know that.

"Date's over!" I announced, getting out of the car. I expected him to nod, wave from his seat, or maybe even drive off angrily. Instead, he was exiting the car as well, tossing me an amused smirk at my shocked expression.

"What do you think you're doing?" I hissed, trying to duck behind the car. "What if someone sees us together?"

"I don't care." Axel shrugged, pulling me towards the door. "I have to end the date properly."

Did he mean a kiss? Oh goodness…

I'm not sure I would survive a kiss from Axel…he was so sexy!

Oh jeez..._pathetic_. I sounded like a little girl.

"N-No, wait. My family is in there. If they catch us, I'll never see the light of day again!" I sputtered as we reached my porch, right before Axel's lips touched my own. He paused, giving me a suspicious look.

"You're not just saying that to get out of kissing me, are you?" He asked, grabbing my chin and lifting it so he could better see my face. "Because, let's face it, Angel. You _need_ to be thoroughly kissed."

My face was so red it put Axel's hair to shame. "No. It's true. Sora would go bananas if he caught sight of us."

Axel sighed, but he had a little smirk on his face. He let go of me reluctantly. "Fine. You're off the hook…for now."

I sighed too, in both relief and disappointment. "Great. So I'll see you tomorrow, I guess?"

He just grinned and saluted me, turning on his heels and walking back to his car. I watched him go, debating running down and dramatically pressing my lips to his. That would be the romantic thing to do.

But the _right_ thing to do would be to turn around and get inside before anyone got suspicious. It was already 7 o'clock.

With one last longing look towards Axel, I went inside the house and closed the door.

* * *

Neither Sora nor my parents had even noticed how late I was.

Some family.

It was the morning after my date with Axel, but I was still thinking about the almost-kiss. What would it have been like? I had never been kissed by someone that I actually…lusted after.

Ugh. _Lusted_ after…

It had taken almost a month, but I had finally come to terms with the fact that I was clearly sexually attracted to Axel, and that I wanted to have his babies.

Yes. It was true. Roxas Strife, who was supposed to be a male equivalent of Glenda the Good Witch, wanted to have Axel Highwind's babies. It wasn't possible…but that didn't stop the thought from entering my mind.

Stupid Axel with his stupid sexiness.

"Hey Rox! There's somebody at the door for you!" Sora (also, seeing as how he was speaking to me quite normally for Sora, clearly Kairi and Selphie had not ratted me out to him…interesting) suddenly called up from downstairs, and I jumped, actually falling out of my bed. I ran a hand through my spikes guiltily. I wasn't supposed to be thinking things like that! It was so dirty!

And scientifically impossible, mind you.

"Okay. One second!" I called back, running to the bathroom to get myself together. When I came back out, I felt a lot better about the situation. I was a growing boy! Thoughts like these about peers my age were completely natural.

Then again, I reasoned, as I ran down the stairs, Axel was the only object of my desires. It wasn't like I was fantasizing about any other guys…or girls for that matter.

Oh jeez…Axel was turning me gay now too.

But of course, as I noticed who it was waiting for me downstairs, destiny just _had_ to bitch slap me.

"Hayner!" I exclaimed, feeling awkward from all of the thoughts that had just run through my head. "What are you doing here?"

Hayner frowned fixedly at the ground, refusing to look at me. "I lost my job yesterday."

I softened. Oh Hayner… "Yeah, I know. I'm sorry about that."

"It wasn't your fault. Axel clearly asked you out and you were just being nice, right?" Hayner guessed, finally looking up and giving me a smile. I smiled back nervously. So…he thought that I was just being nice yesterday. He didn't realize that I agreed to that date.

Well…no use correcting him when we were finally making up!

"Of course!" I cried, a bit too loudly for my taste, ignoring the light coming in through the window and throwing my arms around him. He seemed to turn to jelly at my proximity. Huh, that was weird. Maybe he was just nervous.

"Roxas…" He breathed with a slight blush, staring down at me. I laughed and pulled away. I forgot that whenever I touched Hayner, he acted strange like this.

"Sorry! Forgot how you are with touchy-feely stuff." I grinned, nudging him in the gut. "Always trying to be the big guy!"

"Roxas…" Hayner repeated in the same tone, shaking his head at me, but now that we were made up, I didn't want to waste any more time in talking about it.

"So tell me about these last three weeks that I haven't seen you!" I suggested, sitting at the kitchen table and grabbing an apple from the fruit bowl. "I missed you."

Hayner sighed, giving up in whatever he was about to say, before joining me at the table. "Eh, nothing much going on…"

I felt an overwhelming sense of happiness, like everything was finally coming into place. I had my best friend back, a love interest, and my reputation still intact. Things couldn't get any better!

Still…I did feel bad that the only thing connecting the three was a lie about who I was.

But the old Roxas was gone. And he wasn't coming back.

* * *

"We're not walking with Riku to school today, Rox." Sora sighed, as we prepared to pass by Riku's house. It was Monday morning, and the wind chill was the coldest it had been all year. And yet…Sora wanted to stop and chat, as if it was a beautiful spring morning.

"What happened this time?" I asked with a roll of my eyes, struggling to be a caring and attentive brother. Zeus knew it was hard, though. Sora had a new issue every day.

He sighed again, but this was time it was even more obnoxious than it was before. "I think he knows I like him."

I tried not to burst out laughing. Of course he did. _Everyone_ knew! But to tell Sora that would be to tell a child that Santa no longer exists. The illusion of Riku's ignorance was all that was keeping my brother going. I couldn't break that.

"What makes you say that?" I questioned him, starting to shake from the cold. If only Axel were here, he could warm me right up with just one glance from those smoldering green eyes of his…

Ugh, I did _not_ just think that.

"He was teasing me about kissing yesterday. He said that I needed to just kiss the first person I saw, because my inexperience was kind of embarrassing. Well, no one else was around." Sora babbled, totally not even realizing that Riku had caught up with us. He continued talking without even looking up. "So I was like, Riku, no one else is around. And then he looked pointedly at me. And-And…I blushed and ran off. I think he was making fun of me."

"I wasn't making fun of you, Sora. I was serious." Riku grumbled, sounding irritable and grumpy. I rolled my eyes and made an attempt to walk past them to give them some privacy, but Sora grabbed me and gave me a pleading look, silently begging me to stay. I sighed. Fine.

"B-But! Why would you say that? We're best friends! Not lovers…" Sora stammered, slowly relaxing. He let go of me, but by this point, I was really eager to see what was going to happen between them. Finally, they were being honest with their feelings!

Riku gave one of his rare, genuine smiles, making him look absolutely gorgeous. I scowled. Stupid Riku with his stupid good looks. My brother was practically salivating!

"I know how you feel about me." Riku murmured, pulling Sora closer to him. He blushed and looked away.

"I-I have to go."

"No." Riku ordered softly, leaning down so their lips were practically touching. "Don't run…because I have feelings for you too."

Sora gaped, giving Riku access to his mouth. He kissed him deeply, and I had a feeling there was some tongue action going on. Sora stiffened for the briefest instant before melting in his arms, his body molding into Riku's. Riku gave him another smile and took his hand, leading him back towards his house.

Well. Clearly they weren't going to school.

I left the lovers, thinking only of one person, and how much I wanted to be able to do that with him, in the open, with no fear of judgment from my friends.

Maybe in the next life.

* * *

_December_

I needed a vacation. It was as if I couldn't hang out with the people I used to love the most. Even my own family was exhausting; Sora couldn't focus on anything that wasn't related to Riku, while Cloud wouldn't stop complaining about how stubborn Sephiroth was (which _really_ meant things in their relationship were going really well).The only people I enjoyed being around were Axel and the rest of the gang.

And for some reason, I was okay with that.

It was lunch time, but I was tired of listening to Hayner bitch and moan about how annoying and evil Axel and his friends were. I didn't want to hurt his feelings…so I came into the library to read my favorite book before I could say anything I didn't mean.

I sighed and took a quick scan of the area, looking out for bright red, or neon green. Nope. I was in the clear for now.

For the past three weeks, no matter what I did or where I went, Axel was always there, lurking in the shadows somewhere, just waiting to pop out when I least expected it and pull a reaction, any reaction, from me.

It was annoying as hell, especially when there were impressionable people around, but I couldn't stop myself from the witty responses that just begged release whenever he spoke to me. I had forgotten that I used to banter and argue pointlessly all the time, prior to my perfection. Sora says that we used to debate playfully all the time up until…

The point is, Axel was bringing out emotions that I'd been trying to conceal. So like I said, it was annoying as hell…

…but it was also thrilling too.

"The Angel reads Stephen King?" Axel laughed, and I jumped. Where did he come from? I had made sure to look all around me when I first entered the library, and I wasn't possibly that into the story that I didn't notice someone come in. I shook my head in wonder. He was such a mystery.

"Didn't I tell you to stop calling me that? Besides…at least I read." I snorted, feeling myself fall into the strange comfortableness that I felt whenever it was just Axel and I alone.

Axel grinned and came around me to sit on the table right next to me so we were sort of facing each other. He nodded in agreement. "This is very, very true. I hate reading."

I marked my page in the book by bending the corner and closed it with a sigh. "No you don't." I disagreed, giving him my undivided attention and hating myself a little for it. "You don't hate reading."

Axel looked surprised…or amused. "I don't? _Really_. Please, enlighten me as to why my opinion of myself is wrong."

I winced. Yeah, I was walking on thin ice here. It was always hard trying to explain things to people without them getting defensive. Usually, I just smiled innocently and refrained from doing it. But something about Axel made me want to jump out of the box I'd put myself inside.

"Hate is a strong word," I began, and he groaned loudly. I frowned at him. Jeez, way to be rude. He _asked_, and dammit, I was going to get my opinion out! "You shouldn't-"

Axel groaned again and this time he reached down and covered my mouth with his hand.

"Don't start with the Seventh Heaven shit on me, Angel. Save it for your countless admirers, because I don't want to hear it. There has to be _something_ you hate." Axel amended, lifting his hand from my mouth and giving me a teasing smirk. "_Any_thing."

I pretended to think about it for a second. Then I let my eyes widen on him before narrowing. "Huh, I don't know, let me think about it…nothing, nothing, nothing…oh! Wait, I know! How about…_you._"

Axel snickered and poked me on the forehead. "Who is the liar in here now, Angel? And let me give you a hint, it's not me."

I scowled at him. "What makes you think I'm lying?"

"You don't hate me—_that_ is why. In fact, it's like I said earlier: _I_ think you like me more than you're letting on." He replied easily, leaning back on his elbows. I cursed under my breath and looked away as his hair fell into his eyes, making his whole demeanor incredibly sexy.

"_I_ think you're crazy." I scowled, folding my arms. I kept my gaze steadily pinned to the library carpet. It was in a weird black and red heart design that absently kind of appealed to me. Axel snorted and his long, slender fingers gently lifted up my chin to make me look at him.

"And_ I_ think I'm starting to fall in love with you." He countered softly. The comment caught me so off guard—I was expecting some kind of smart retort—that I fell out of the chair I was sitting on. Axel stared at me incredulously as I quickly stood up, a blush making its way slowly across my cheeks.

Axel was in love with me? What? How…_why_? If he was in love with me, then why was he always basically calling me a "fake"? It made no sense! Then realization slowly dawned on me. Maybe he was just saying this to get a rise out of me. Maybe he didn't even like me at all, but was trying to get some kind of revenge on me for those rumors a while back that he thought I started.

I glared at him with a sudden vigor that I only recognized from my past. "I can't believe you." I hissed, suddenly eager to get the hell up out of there. Axel furrowed his eyebrows at me as I quickly packed up my books.

"What are you talking about? What's wrong? Where are you going?"

"I'm going to class early. Unlike you, the teacher doesn't seem to completely hate me." I snapped, shouldering my backpack. "And you say that _I'm_ being dishonest!"

Axel's expression slowly starting to go from confused to pissed off.

"What the hell did I say? All I told you was the truth! If you're mad at me for being crazily, stupidly and pathetically in love with you, then I'm sorry, Angel, because I can't help that!" He shouted after me, but I didn't look back at I hightailed it out of there.

I was distinctly aware that he was following me, even as I got frustrated and tried to shake him. I took a sharp turn and entered the janitor's closet before he could see where I went, being sure to lock it.

I panted as I listened to the resounding footsteps go past the door. Good. I think I lost him. I turned around so my back hit the door before sliding down it. I sighed. What was I doing? I shouldn't be acting like this. I should go find him and apologize. That's what I would normally do, right?

I shook my head. No. This was different. I was tired of always giving people outs at my expense. And I knew that this action was affecting years of training but…for once, I didn't want to be the good little angel anymore. I wanted to be Roxas.

And Roxas wouldn't go after him and fake an apology.

And yet…why did it hurt so much?

* * *

It was stupid, childish, and completely unlike my "image", as Axel would say, but…

I was avoiding him. I was avoiding that sexy redhead like the plague. The worst part was that everyone at school noticed. I wasn't even trying to hide it. And Axel himself looked like he was torn between being proud of me, and being hurt for my attitude towards him. Whatever, he couldn't have it both ways.

I refused to talk to him in AP Combat, instead translating my feelings into my strength by matching his every move. And for the first time, I think I beat him. But for some strange reason, it didn't make me feel any better.

"Angel, just talk to me! What's wrong?" Axel groaned as he followed me out to the bus circle. People were staring at us, but I didn't care. As long as I got away from him, I would deal with the rumors and gossip that was sure to follow.

"Leave me alone." I said simply, getting onto the bus, praying on every higher being that I knew that he wouldn't follow me. But of course, Axel being Axel, got right on with me, and sat right next to me, trapping me from further escape.

" Please, Angel…talk to me. Tell me why you ran off like that. I was only being honest." He pleaded, and something inside of me panged. I looked away from him.

"Yeah right." I murmured softly. "You weren't being honest, and you know it."

Axel stared at me wordlessly for a moment before finally speaking. "You think I was _lying_?" He asked me incredulously. "Do you think my feelings for you are a _joke_?"

I looked at him then, and my look was hostile, and surprisingly hurt. "I'm not stupid. You're only trying to get a rise out of me, just like every other time! Well I refuse to fall for it! And I refuse to fall for you!"

Oops. Oh god, I can't believe I just admitted that out loud! My eyes widened and I quickly backpedalled.

"I-I mean, um, I…err…" I stammered, feeling pathetic and pitiful and stupid…how was this guy changing my entire outlook on myself in just a quick couple of weeks! Axel watched my struggle for a second before gently taking my face in his hands and leaning down towards me. My breath hitched.

"Roxas," He whispered gently, his breath tickling my skin, "I've liked you since I was in the eighth grade. Don't insult me by questioning my feelings."

And then he kissed me.

Oh god…oh god…Axel Highwind, the most desired bad boy on the island right now, was kissing me, little Roxas Strife, the perfect angel of the school. And, the bad thing was…I _liked_ it! I was _kissing him back_!

And then, the worst happened.

"Roxas! What are you doing?" Sora yelped, suddenly looming down at us from where he was frozen, shocked into a stand still. Riku was next to him, glaring at Axel in distaste. What? Was Riku also against Axel too? Did he believe the rumors?

Suddenly the entire bus was silent and staring at us. People were sending me confused glances, disgusted looks for kissing someone who was so "unworthy" and dirty, and I…I…

I panicked.

"Get off of me!" I shouted, shoving Axel off of me and inevitably sending his head slamming against the seat in front of us. He glared at me angrily and rubbed his forehead. Secretly, in my head, I winced and apologized. But on the outside, I was scowling.

"What the fuck was that for, Angel?" He snapped, but Sora was there first, grabbing him by his collar and lifting him up to face him. He looked beyond pissed, and for some reason, I felt deep fear for the red head who had just kissed me.

"Roxas, did he attack you again? Did he force himself on you?" Sora demanded, looking at me now. I bit my lip. Axel was glaring down at me so expectantly, that it almost broke my heart at the thought of what I would have to do to maintain my image. But I had to do it.

"I-I didn't want it." I lied, deciding that vague was the best way to answer. "H-He didn't even ask me before he did it."

That was it for Sora. He sent a firm punch to Axel's rib cage, making him double over in pain. I immediately winced. Oh no, I didn't want Axel to get hurt! But by the way that Riku and Sora were looking, it was almost inevitable. Oh god, what had I done?

"W-Wait, stop it, Sora!" I cried out before Sora could do any more damage. Besides that, the cameras might be activated on the bus, even though it hadn't started yet. Riku grabbed Axel by the hair and shoved him roughly off of the bus, making sure to reach over and shut the glass doors before he could come back on and retaliate.

Cheers erupted from the bus, and almost immediately people rushed over to comfort me. Sora shook his head in frustration but he placed a hand on my shoulder. I looked up at him with tormented eyes. How could I have done that?

"You okay, Rox? Where else did he touch you?" Sora demanded, squeezing into the seat, sitting on Riku's lap so they could both sit.

"Nowhere else. I'm fine, Sora. Thanks for helping me."

The bus started moving. Bystanders turned back to whatever they were doing, and Riku and Sora returned to their previous conversation (something about water slides and kangaroos?), although Sora still seemed kind of annoyed.

I rested my forehead against the glass of the window and glanced out. Axel was standing there, holding his rib, watching me as we sped off. He looked so…betrayed. Sad. And more than a little pissed off. Something in my heart cried out for him.

I was such a jerk.

* * *

Six hours, twenty minutes and thirty five seconds after I betrayed and hurt Axel like the ass that I was, I received a phone call from the victim himself.

I was _very _surprised.

"Axel!" I hissed in shock, my eyes growing wide and wild. I had been sitting down on the couch, lazily watching Lord of the Rings for the hundredth time while Sora talked loudly on his cell phone, when Cloud, who was visiting from college, tossed me the home phone.

"Some girl named Lea, last name X." He explained disinterestedly. "I never knew you were straight, Rox." He added, ignoring my indignant sputtering and walking back out. So now I was sitting here, clutching the phone nervously, waiting for an explanation, any explanation, as to why he was calling _me_.

"D-Do you…do you have the wrong number?" I asked confusedly. There was a chuckle on the other line (I was sort of relieved to hear it…), and it made my chest pang knowing that he probably had made a mistake, and was just laughing at his own stupidity.

"Angel, I think I would know your number by now. Didn't I tell you already that I liked you?" He replied easily. I smiled a little, but I wouldn't let myself let my guard down just yet. He could just be pranking me or something for a cruel joke.

"Okaaaay," I drawled, reminding myself of Sora, "then why are you calling me?"

"Jeez Angel, for someone so sweet, you really have some bad manners. Can't I just call you to say hi?" He retorted. Now I couldn't stop the smile from spreading wide across my face.

"No, actually, you can't." Then I frowned. "I can't believe you're not screaming at me. Aren't you pissed?"

"Hell yes, I'm pissed. I can't believe your brother, sweet little Sora Strife, bruised my rib! He's stronger than he looks, huh?" Axel replied thoughtfully. I could sense that he was giving me an out, a way to move on from this, but I had enough experience acting like a good guy to know how to be one. And taking this out wouldn't help anything.

"Axel," I murmured softly, turning the volume down to mute, "I hurt you."

There was an uncomfortable silence, so silent that I could hear Sora laughing madly from his bedroom and Cloud crumpling up his fifth attempt at a love letter to Sephiroth. Finally, Axel sighed.

"Maybe a little, but it isn't like I didn't deserve it. I keep trying to force my feelings on you and trying to make something work that just…won't." He admitted dejectedly. My eyes widened in fear. Wait, was he giving up? Was he tired of chasing me?

"This girl, Ashe, asked me out this morning, and I'm thinking about giving it a shot." He continued, only breaking my heart further. No, he couldn't…why was he doing this?

"B-But…I thought you liked me?" I demanded, trying to keep the insecurity out of my voice. I think Axel heard it, though.

"Of course I do!" He replied quickly, but it was a little too quickly. "But I don't want to keep fooling myself. It's obvious that you don't feel the sa-"

"So that's it then? You're just going to go back to being the school heartthrob while I go back to being miserable without…" I trailed off, closing my eyes. What was I doing? Why was I allowing my emotions to rule me?

"Without what, Angel?" Axel prodded with a trace of hopefulness in his voice.

"Without you." I whispered. "Without the only real thing in my life."

Axel was silent on his end before replying slowly, "So then what does that mean?"

"I like you too, okay?" I admitted, suddenly terrified. I couldn't believe I just admitted that to him. I hadn't even admitted it to myself! And what if Sora heard me? He couldn't know about us!

There was a silence again before Axel, who sounded a little out of breath, asked, "Are you serious?"

I shut my eyes tightly and against my better judgment, answered, "Yes, okay?"

And suddenly, as if all the words had shoved their way out of his mouth, Axel began to ramble so excitedly that I had to smile too. Yeah, I was smiling even though I'd basically just shot myself in the foot.

"Cheese and fucking rice Roxas! I can't believe this is happening! I've liked you for five fucking years, baby, five fucking years of wanting you, then avoiding you, then missing you…! Hell yes! Hell-" He continued, seemingly now off into his own euphoric high. I, however, remained completely sane. Hell, someone had to.

Shit. What was I going to do? It wasn't supposed to happen this way. It's not _allowed_ to happen this way. Then something Axel said stopped me.

"Wait…you've liked me for five years?" I asked slowly, my face falling and my whole body beginning to shake in horror. "You knew me when I…when I was…"

"Yes. Well, no, I didn't actually know you. But I watched you from afar a whole damn lot. I was generally too much of a coward to ever do anything about it though." Axel admitted, still sounding euphoric and high.

I closed my eyes and willed myself to calm down. "So this is why you think I'm a phony…you knew me back when I was an overly aggressive dickwad. And now you probably think I'm a _lying_ overly aggressive dickwad, too."

"What the hell are you talking about? I don't think you're a dickwad. I've never thought that." Axel replied, sounding a bit confused at my mood transition. Not that I could blame him; a minute ago I was smiling.

"Then why are you always trying to make me act like one?" I demanded, starting to get suspicious again. What were his intentions? And why, for the love of Zeus, couldn't I figure this guy out?

Axel was silent again before quietly answering, "When I used to watch you five years ago, I thought you were so honest. You didn't try to be anyone you weren't just because a lot of people didn't like you. I really admired that, because I've never been able to do that."

Now it was my turn to fall silent before whispering, "W-What? _You_…admired _me_?"

"Well," Axel mulled, seeming to think it over, "you know, up until that incident. But pretty much, I thought you were exactly what I needed to be."

I thought about this. Maybe the only reason my niceness bothered Axel so much was that I was the complete opposite of the guy he used to want to be. If that was the case…

Then I guess I could understand why my reputation would piss him off so much.

"Frankly," Axel continued, still talking. "Everyone else may have forgotten what you used to be like, but I haven't. And I never will, Angel."

I finally allowed a slow smile to emerge back onto my face. "I can't believe you liked me for five…_fucking_ years."

Note: cursing was one of the first things I gave up to be a nicer person.

Note: Damn do I fucking miss it like hell. Shit.

Axel laughed on the other line. "Welcome back, Roxas."

"Axel," I sighed, trying to get serious again. "I'm not ready to change, okay?"

"What?" Axel cried, sounding kind of pissed, actually. "You're going to make me wait five more years for you?"

I prepared to answer before stopping. Wait. "You would wait five more years for me?"

"Of course I would." Axel said softly, and my heart began to flutter as if it had wings. "My feelings for you won't go away that easily."

Oh jeez. This guy was going to be the death of me.

"Anyway…I'm still not sure if I'm willing to be myself again. I just…" I trailed off, struggling to make him understand without having to relive that horrible, terrible incident that changed me so drastically.

"Tell you what." Axel interrupted. "How about you just focus on becoming the person you truly want to be? In the meantime, we can just take it slow. Sound good?"

I didn't deserve this guy. Not after the things I had done.

"That sounds perfect, Axel."

"Goodnight, Angel."

"Goodnight, Axel." I replied gently, hugging the phone to my chest as we both hung up. I had really put myself in a dangerous spot with this phone call, but…I still felt happy. It felt really…damn good, actually.

* * *

The walk to school the next morning with Riku and Sora was uneventful at best, which I was completely grateful for. The last thing I needed was any drastic changes in my routine; I didn't want to bring any extra attention to the fact that Axel and I had feelings for each other.

"When are you going to get a man?" Riku asked me out of the blue as we entered the school building, and I couldn't stop myself from jumping. Was he on to me?

"W-W-Why?" I stammered, tightening my grip on my backpack straps. "Who wants to know? S-Sora?"

Riku raised an eyebrow at me, letting me know that he was a little weirded out by my reaction. "The only one who wants to know is me. Jeez, what's up with you this morning? Did someone pour crack in your coffee?"

Har har har. Riku was _so_ hilarious. Not.

"No." I grumbled, racking my brain for a response to his previous question. Clearly, I couldn't tell him that it was Axel who occupied my mind most of the time. He would snitch to Sora, who would proceed to unintentionally damage my rep in his brotherly efforts to protect me.

That couldn't happen.

"I…" I began slowly, dragging out the syllable to buy myself more time. "Like…"

Suddenly Zexion emerged from the boys' restroom, and I did the only logical thing I could think of. Which, honestly, wasn't all that logical. But it was the most logical choice out of the few I could conjure in my mind.

"Him!" I shouted, pointing at Zexion at once. He froze, his one visible eye widening in confusion. "That's who I like!"

Riku coughed. "Really? You don't want someone…taller?"

I glared at him. Really? This coming from the guy who had a thing for _Sora_, who was only tall because of his clown shoes?

"Can you be any more shallow? We're not all gorgeous like you." I snapped, taking this opportunity to quickly head to my first class. Riku simply rolled his eyes. I could tell he wasn't attracted to Zexion whatsoever. Neither was I. But that didn't mean I appreciated any insults on his account.

"Roxas." Zexion said quietly, suddenly right behind me. I jumped back. What the hell? How did he get behind me so fast?

"Zexion!"

"What was that?" He asked me softly, and when I responded with a blank look, he reiterated. "With Riku."

"Oh!" I laughed obnoxiously, throwing up my hands dramatically. "That! That was nothing!"

Zexion remained expressionless as he gazed at me. Then he asked something that made me sick to my stomach before he even got all of the words out. "Do you feelings for Riku?"

I scrunched up my face in disgust. Gross. "Hell to the no!" And before I could stop myself, I added, "I like Axel!"

Zexion gave me a surprised yet approving smile, and I shut my eyes in contempt for myself. What the hell was wrong with me? When did I become such a blabbermouth? "I-I mean…"

But before I could come up with a reasonable lie to deny the words that had flown out of my mouth, Axel himself appeared, coming straight towards us from the end of the hallway. My heart flew up to my throat, and suddenly words failed me. He looked…he looked…

Like a walking incarnation of Sex.

His usually wild hair was pulled back into a messy ponytail at the nape of his neck, exposing all of the long, creamy complexion that lay there. His uniform jacket was slung carelessly over his shoulder while he had one hand resting in the pocket of his slacks. And his button down shirt was unbuttoned and gaping open, revealing what I had always suspected was underneath it…faint six pack abs.

I was practically drooling. Which was kind of embarrassing and gross, but at the moment, I could've cared less.

"Angel." He grinned blissfully when he finally caught up to us. My heart melted at his smile. Was he happy because of me? I couldn't resist the blush that bloomed on my cheeks at the thought.

"Hi, Axel." I murmured, gazing at the floor.

Zexion's gaze went from him to me, and back again. Then a slow smile spread on his face. "Is there something I should know?"

"No." Axel and I answered at the same time. I bit my lip. Oh jeez…

"I see. Congratulations." Zexion muttered, speeding off before I could protest. Damn it…

"Good morning, Angel." Axel smirked, giving me an appreciative once-over. "You look extra sexy today."

I blinked. Really? "I do? No way…I mean…" I lowered my voice so only he could hear me. "I think _you're_ the one that looks good today."

Axel's smirk grew even wider. "Is that so? Huh…looks like we're both attracted to each other even more than usual."

"What do we do? I can hardly keep my eyes off of you!" I complained, looking around worriedly. No one was paying attention to us, but I knew the second someone noticed us ogling each other, everyone would have their eyes on us.

Axel licked his lips and discreetly ran a hand down my back. Chills raced down my spine and I tried to twist away, but he had grabbed my ass securely, preventing me from escape.

"Axel!" I hissed, trying to get away without attracting anyone's attention.

He just laughed before whispering, "We should fuck."

I froze in complete shock. "_What_?"

"Clearly, we're both lusting. You know you want to." He purred seductively in my ears. My face went bright red as I wildly looked about. Okay, fine. He was right. I _did_ want to.

But there was no way I was going to!

"No way, Axel! We'll get caught! Besides…" I declared, straightening my clothes, "You're not _that_ sexy."

* * *

Oh goodness, Axel _was_ that sexy.

Boy did I want his body wrapped around mine. I wanted it more than I had ever wanted anything else. I wanted to feel those lips on my skin, running down my body and finally, around my—

Roxas. Get it together.

"Dude, are you okay?" Pence asked me, poking me in the head. "You're so…_distracted_."

"And you keep breaking out into heat flashes." Olette added, frowning suspiciously at me. "What going on?"

Hayner didn't say a word. He was staring at me in speculation, as if I was some specimen he was determined to figure out. I blushed in embarrassment and looked away. It was weird to have his eyes on me when I was so…horny.

Ew, the word sounded so foreign and dirty.

"Axel is staring at you again. He's not even eating." Olette gossiped, fumbling to open her water bottle. Pence gently leaned over and opened it for her as she whispered, "He looks almost as flushed as Roxas does."

I stiffened and looked up. Axel indeed was staring at me…and he looked hungry. My stomach dropped and butterflies filled the air inside of it. My heart immediately began to race. He was feeling the heat too.

We watched each other, and it suddenly felt as if no one was in the room. Why were we so far away, again?

Then the people rushed back into my consciousness, and I remembered why weren't together in the light of day.

But for the first time in a long time…I was aching. I was aching to fill the distance between us, aching to become one with him.

I was ready.

I wanted to feel him inside of me.

I _loved_ him.

I blinked. Woah, what? I officially loved Axel? Since when?

Well, since a long time, I supposed. Since he saw who I really was, since he remembered me from years ago, since he accepted Reno and I, and since he respected me so easily…

I slowly smiled at Axel. He seemed surprised that I was acknowledging him…but returned my smile with a knowing smirk.

Hayner eyed me accusingly. "Who the hell are you smiling at?"

I glanced over at him before looking down at my sandwich. "No one, Hayner."

Hayner didn't stop watching me for the entire lunch period.

* * *

"Something seems different about you today." Hayner announced as he walked me to my next class. I focused on my shoes intently, but he even seemed to notice that. "I mean, you've hardly even _looked_ at me at today!"

I still wouldn't meet his eyes. "I'm sorry, Hayner."

"Damn it, Roxas! What's wrong?" He finally shouted, grabbing me and pressing me against the lockers. Everyone immediately stopped to watch us curiously. I sighed. My reputation was starting to get exhausting. Their eyes were _always_ watching.

"You're going to start rumors, you know." I lamented, noting the giggles and knowing smiles from everyone around us. Looked like no one minded if I was with Hayner. But of course, _everyone_ minded if it was Axel.

Hayner stared into my eyes deeply, making me feel extremely uncomfortable. Um…

Oh jeez, wait a minute.

Maybe Axel was right. Maybe Hayner…

"Can't you tell how miserable I am, Roxas?" Hayner whispered brokenly, caressing my arm. My eyes widened. Oh no. "Can't you tell…how much I love you?"

And before I could protest, he had claimed my lips with his own.

To Hayner's credit, the boy could kiss. It was as if he had practiced this kiss in his head thousands of times before. And there was something sweet about the idea of us, I had to admit.

But didn't he realize? Didn't he realize that I was a fool for Axel?

I shook my head, trying to politely push Hayner off, but he mistook it for compliance and deepened the kiss, thrusting his tongue deep into my mouth. I opened my eyes, preparing to punch him if need be, when I saw Axel glaring intensely at us.

I gave him a pleading look, telepathically telling him that I didn't initiate the kiss, but he just glowered at me and stalked off. Great.

Hayner finally pulled away to catch his breath, blushing slightly and smiling. My heart ached for him; this was my best friend!

But I had to tell him the truth.

Well, at least part of it.

"Hayner…" I said gently, placing a hand on his shoulder. "You know I love you. But I just don't…love you in the way you want me to."

Hayner's entire face fell. I could tell my words had hurt him. Badly. Painfully.

Without another word, he ran off.

I shook my head and slid down the lockers, hiding my flushed face in my hands. This was awful. My best friend probably hated me now, and my love interest probably thought I was some kind of lying whore.

Just another day in the life of Roxas Strife.

* * *

Axel was pissed off. Clearly.

It wasn't hard to figure out what with the chakrams that came flying at me every second. For a brief second, I thought maybe this was how I was going to die.

Then I shook my head and defended myself.

"Axel! I didn't do anything!" I pleaded, deflecting a spiky chakram that was close to marring my face. He didn't bother to make any response. His eyes narrowed to dangerous green slits as he continued to come at me.

"Axel, please be careful." Mrs. Mulan fretted, but like always, we ignored her.

Axel roared in anger, startling everyone in the room, before lunging at me and pining me to the wall. The chakrams in his hand were two inches from my lips.

"You let him kiss these lips." He murmured lowly, his anger seeming to fizzle into hurt. "You let him press his lips to yours with no protest. But somehow, when _I_ try to, it's a big deal."

I gaped at him. He couldn't be serious. I liked _him_! I even _told_ him I liked him! "Axel—"

"The truth is," Axel whispered, ignoring the ringing of the bell and the students around us who were nervously looking at us and wondering if they should get help, "You're not embarrassed to be with Hayner. But you are with me."

With those last words, he let me go and walked away from me.

I stared after him. Was that true? Was the only reason I wasn't with Axel…out of _embarrassment_?

* * *

It was ten minutes later and I still couldn't believe I was doing this. But Axel thought I was embarrassed to be with him…I had to do something!

I took a deep breath. This would be the stupidest thing I'd ever done.

"Attention! Uh, can I have everyone's attention?" I called out, peering down at my peers. I had climbed up onto one of the buses in the center of the parking lot, balanced only by the keyblades I had buried into the ceiling of the bus that I was tied to.

Everyone stared at me in shock, before a girl in the crowd screamed. I rolled my eyes. That was a little dramatic, wasn't it?

Sora emerged from the school, holding hands with Riku, no doubt looking for me. When he found me, his face had never been so pale. I felt a little guilty for scaring him like this, but…it had to be done.

"Um…I just wanted to let you guys know, straight from the horse's mouth, that Axel didn't attack me on the bus yesterday. That was just another stupid rumor that someone started." I explained loudly, looking around frantically for Axel. Aw crap, he wasn't even watching!

But finally my eyes landed on Axel at the bottom of the bus. He looked like he was just about ready to come up and drag me off the bus. Well, no such luck.

"What the _fuck_ are you _doing_?" Axel shouted, shooting me daggers with his eyes. His voice sounded dangerously angry…but I could hear a small hitch of fear. "Get down _now_."

I shook my head determinedly. "I need to clear your name first."

Axel growled warningly at me. I don't think he took too kindly to people ignoring his orders. "I don't care about that. Please get down."

"No." I answered simply, before turning back to the gathering crowd. I smiled at them. "Like I said, Axel is innocent! He's a great guy who would never do something like that. I'm just sorry that I didn't clear his name sooner."

Some random kid in the crowd started slow clapping while everyone just stared at him. But of course, a couple of other people joined in, and suddenly I was receiving a standing ovation.

"Why are you clapping? This is about Axel, not me!" I yelled in frustration, but no one could really hear me. But before I could yell any obscenities (because I was seriously getting annoyed), I was yanked off the bus and down into someone's arms.

I blinked up into murderous neon green eyes. "Axel?"

Axel merely scowled down at me, not even bothering to speak to me. Without a word, he carried me out of the bus circle and to his car, opening it and throwing me inside carelessly. I bit my lip nervously. Clearly, I had crossed a line.

"Um…Axel?" I tried again, but one sharp glare from him silenced me. When he had situated himself in the driver's seat and closed the door, he turned to me and finally spoke.

"You were five seconds from dying, Roxas." Axel spat, eyeing me distastefully. But as I stared into his eyes, I saw a flash of fear in his green irises. I shook my head and took his hand in mine.

"You're just overreacting. I was tied to the keyblades. I was fine." I reassured him. He let out a humorless bark of laughter.

"Were you paying attention to _anything_ around you? Your strings had come untied, your keyblades had disappeared, and if Sora hadn't run in front of the bus to stop him from moving, you would have been five seconds from splattering on the ground."

I stared at him. Oh.

OH!

My chest began to heave a little bit. No wonder Sora had looked so pale and Axel so angry. I almost unknowingly killed myself!

"I'm sorry, Axel." I apologized, embarrassedly staring down at my hands. "I didn't know. I thought I was helping."

"Yeah, and you did. But I don't care about that shit, Roxas. The only thing I care about is you." Axel snapped, but his hand was still in mine and his thumb was mindlessly caressing my palm. "Do you know how afraid I was just now?"

"I'm sorry." I repeated, sighing. Well…this was it. The end of our relationship. Clearly I had pissed him off to no end. "I guess I'll see you around."

"Oh, _hell_ no. You're not getting out of this that easily. From now on, you're _mine_. I'm your boyfriend, and you're my boyfriend." He declared, his grimace just daring me to question him.

"Axel! No! I'm not ready for—"

Axel silenced me with a hard, deep kiss, a kiss that had me falling into him for support. When he pulled away, my heart stopped working for a moment before it sputtered back to life.

"We don't have to tell anyone. But you and I will know that we belong together." He explained, and finally, he allowed himself to sigh and relax. "I don't know what I would do if something happened to you, Angel."

He called me Angel. Finally, he had forgiven me.

* * *

After singing to the Top Forty hits at the top of my lungs, much to Axel's chagrin, we had arrived at my house.

I took a deep breath. It was time. I asked the one question that I had been completely avoiding for the past month. "Do you…want to come to my room?"

Axel gaped at me, and I paled instantly. What the hell was I doing? If he went to my room, he would know _everything_.

Everything about who I was….why I had to change…

What I had done.

Axel smirked at me. "Is this what I think this means?"

I rolled my eyes. Of course he would take it there. "No! I just want to show you some stuff."

Axel's smirk grew even wider, and I smacked my forehead. This guy…

"I said_, not that_!" I insisted, but he only hummed and ran a hand seductively down my leg. I broke out in tingles as I _eeped!_ and pressed myself against the window. "Would you stop that?"

Axel pouted at me, and it was so comical that I had to laugh. At my laughter, he grinned again. "Fine. I'll go to your room and be on my best behavior. But…what about your family?"

I shrugged. I already thought all of this out. "It'll take like, fifteen minutes for Riku and Sora to get here. As long as I get you inside before they arrive, we'll be safe in my room. Oh, and Cloud's visiting Sephiroth, remember?"

Axel frowned, instantly growing serious, and it made me so upset—seeing him upset-that I found myself asking about it. "What's wrong?"

"Angel…where are your parents?"

I looked at my shoes. They were covered in dirt, probably from when I was standing on top of the bus, stupidly risking my life. "They still live in Twilight Town. They didn't want to move back, but Sora and I did, so we begged Cloud to let us live with him. He let up."

That wasn't the whole story. I could tell Axel realized this, but he didn't say anything, and I didn't finish. Not yet. Once we got to my room…and he actually saw what I meant...I would tell him. You know, if he didn't run away.

"Angel…look at me." Axel ordered, and I looked up at him slowly, obliging, though everything in my being screamed at me to run. He kissed me on the temple before whispering, "You know how I feel about you."

I blushed, but it was like he was hypnotizing me. I couldn't look away. "…Yes."

He uttered those three words, and in that second, I knew that these last moments would be my demise. The demise of Angel.

"I love you."

My eyes filled with tears. I couldn't accept this from him. "You don't even know me yet. Axel…please, let's just go to my room. Don't say that to me unless you know who I used to be."

Axel shook his head and pressed his lips to mine, silencing me...and my body.

I tried to protest…I swear I did! But if you ever kissed those lips—which, you better not—you would understand.

He pulled away with a smirk and a slight blush. "It's too late. I already love you."

Those words gave me hope. Hope that he wouldn't run for the hills once he saw what I used to be like. I took a deep breath, and hoped beyond hope that these next three words wouldn't be ones that I would come to regret.

"Okay. Let's go."

* * *

I watched Axel in my house as he inspected every object like it was a fascinating specimen. As cute as it was, I huffed impatiently.

"What are you doing? My room is upstairs!" I asked him, pointing to the stairs. He straightened from the couch he was gazing at and looked at me. He gave me a sexy grin.

"I was inspecting your couch. You know…for next time." He murmured seductively, grabbing my ass as he passed by me. I jumped and ignored the pleasure that tingled all the way down to my toes.

"Ugh…just follow me." I snapped, but even I couldn't hide the red that had tinged my cheeks. I heard him chuckling behind me as we climbed up each step.

When we got to my room, I paused. Did I really want to do this?

The only people who had been in my room were Hayner, Sora, and Cloud. Even Olette and Pence hadn't seen its contents. And now I was actually letting in the one person whose reaction mattered the most.

But I had to do it.

I clutched the doorknob, sighed, and swung open the door.

I immediately turned to Axel for his reaction.

He stood frozen in the doorway, unblinking and unmoving. His mouth fell open, and his face immediately paled. In his neon green eyes…I saw a flicker of disturbance.

"What…the fuck…" He murmured to himself, sounding incredibly disgusted.

I shut my eyes tightly and shook my head. Oh no…it was exactly what I feared would happen.

"The fuck!" Axel repeated louder this time. I could feel the tears bubbling underneath my eyelids. But even with all of that, only two words came to mind.

Oh.

Shit.

* * *

**Hiphiphorray! One more installment to go! Can she do it? Yes she can! Stay tuned!**

**As always, reviews are beautiful! :)**


	3. Breathe Me

**So. Today we take this simple three-shot story and transform it into a four or five chaptered fic. Today we mark this day in our calenders as the day when blu blade completely went in a different direction for her story, thus throwing the lives of her readers into tandum. Today we celebrate the day where blu blade tried to put her readers first, by uploading the first part of the end rather than waiting even longer to complete it. **

**I decided to split this last chapter into two (or three) because I realize that my track record with updating on a regular basis is really bad, and I know what it feels like to love a story and have to wait to finish it. I used to be in your very shoes. And then I started posting and realized that it's very hard for a person who can't multi-task, like me, to put this first above all else. So I really do apologize. **

**As an apology, I'm giving you this early, even though its killing me, so you won't have to wait as long. I'm sooooo close to the end of this story, I can feel it, but I'm going to go ahead and give you a glimpse. So the last part is coming soon, I promise. :)**

**That's all. Please enjoy!**

**P.S. Loved your reviews! Gave me a swift kick and motivated me to focus on bringing this baby to a close!**

* * *

The way I saw it, Axel had two choices.

He could stay with me.

Or…

He could leave me.

While I'm sure the second option would provide better results for the both of us—I would salvage my rep and Axel would just be all around better off—, I couldn't deny that the first option was something I wanted more than anything.

But just looking at his face, scrunched in disgust, made me feel sick to my stomach. In fact, it made me feel almost as if I was too dirty for him.

"A-Axel?" I began, fidgeting with my sleeve and walking into my room. He remained rooted in the doorway, still staring in disturbed amazement. I cleared my throat and continued. "S-So…um… this is my room."

Axel turned to me with the most taken aback expression on his face. "Seriously?"

"I wouldn't joke about this." I retorted softly, chuckling nervously. I slowly sat on my checkered comforter, patting the space next to me for Axel to sit. He cautiously entered the room before also slowly sitting down.

We proceeded to stare at each other for a long moment—I was trying to figure out what must be going through his head. I'm sure he wanted to leave…this was surely too much for him to handle. Yet, still he sat, staring at me with an unreadable look on his face.

Finally, he broke the ice. "Um…what is all this?"

By all this, he had to be referring to the dozens and dozens of horrifying pictures that covered every surface of my room. Mutilated arms, legs, torsos, heads, chests, fingers, toes, and other miscellaneous body parts lined my walls, almost like a second paint job. On my ceiling hung massive, realistic depictions of dead bodies that were so graphic that there left no room to the imagination. The only item in my room that was spared from the violence was my checkered bed and my desk, which was so clean and organized, it seemed foreign in my hideous room.

I cleared my throat. "Well, this would be my room, Axel."

"Fine, I'll ask the obvious. Why in the flying fuck do you have pictures of dead bodies and bloody body parts hanging in your room?" Axel demanded, unable to look away from the horrid images. "Most boys just have a sexy model or something, you know."

I tried to laugh, but failed miserably. I was still too afraid that Axel was going to leave me because of this. And nothing about that was funny. I spoke softly as to not scare him off. "They're reminders."

"Of what?"

I took a deep breath. "They're reminders of why I have to be this perfect, angelic Roxas."

Axel shook his head. "I don't understand."

I stood up and walked over to my desk. Opening the second drawer, I pulled out a giant file with my name on it and tossed it to Axel. "This is my file from middle school. Five years ago."

"Jeez! It's so big!" Axel marveled, carefully opening it to avoid any pages from slipping out. "Clearly you were a bad, bad boy."

Despite myself, I smiled. "You could say that."

Axel scanned the first couple of pages before stopping on the summary of my record. "You were in so many fights…with high schoolers!"

I shrugged and thought back to those days. "I was an aggressive child. If I detected any ounce of judgment on either me or my friends, my fists would immediately be in someone's face."

Axel sat the file down to look at me. I was relieved to note that the disgust had disappeared from his green irises. "So…what's the problem? Tons of kids fought when they were younger; doesn't mean you have to completely erase who you used to be."

I shook my head as I tried to fight off tears that threatened to erupt. The last thing I wanted to do was talk about this stuff again. But Axel had a right to know who he was in love with.

"Axel…do you know what happened to all of those kids I fought?" I began shakily, wiping my eyes on my sleeve. Axel immediately reached over to soothingly caress my shoulders, but his eyes were filled with curiosity.

"Angel…what's the matter?" He asked softly, brushing my hair out of my eyes where it had fallen. "You don't have to tell me."

He was wrong. I did have to tell him. I had to tell him now, before I lost my nerve.

"Axel…I gave all of those kids life-changing problems. A few of them are blind now, most of them are in wheelchairs, and one of them…he's been in a coma for three years now." I whispered. Then the tears came. I didn't want to cry while I told him this…I didn't want any of his pity. I didn't deserve it.

I was an awful person. _He_ was more like the angel.

"Oh Roxas…" Axel murmured, pressing me against his chest. He felt warm and safe, just like I had always wanted to feel from another person. But now that I had it…I wasn't sure so sure I was allowed to have it.

"In eighth grade, I was convicted for attempted murder on the kid who is in a coma now. He's…He's the one Hayner was talking about a couple of weeks back. Sephiroth, Cloud's on and off ex-boyfriend, was my lawyer, and he cleared my name. But my parents…they were scared. So my mother moved us to Twilight Town, where I was placed into rehabilitation center that monitored me 24/7." I explained, feeling calmer now that I was finally getting the entire story out. Axel listened attentively, encouraging me to continue.

"Mom…believed that I was on the track to becoming a murder. I tried to tell her that it was my rage that I couldn't control, not an urge to kill, but she wouldn't listen. After awhile…I started to believe her. I thought, maybe I am a murderer! Maybe I just haven't actually killed anyone yet. That's when Dad hired my therapist, Aerith." I swallowed thickly, thinking back to awkward moments with Mom and Dad, who had tiptoed around me like I was some kind of infected lemur.

Axel shook his head and ran a finger down my arm, trying to comfort me. "You're not a murderer, Roxas."

I nodded slowly. "I-I know. I know that now. Aerith convinced me of that. She suggested that I visit the hospital that my victims stayed in every day. And every day, I went in, and lost my nerve. I turned my cowardice into anger again, because that was all I knew. I went back to beating up people who looked down at me. My parents didn't know what to do. It was only until I met Namine that I began to change."

Axel went still, but his expression remained composed. "So…there was a girl?"

I smiled. Only Axel could still be possessive after someone admitted that they could have been a murderer. "Yes, there was a girl. She was sick in the hospital, with Lupus, an incurable disease."

"I ran into her during one of my daily trips. Right before I turned around to leave in fear again, I passed by her open room. She was wearing a plain white dress with white flip flops…staring sadly out of the window."

Axel furrowed his brow. "Sad because of her disease?"

"No," I answered, shaking my head, "it wasn't that. That's what I had thought at first. But when she looked up at me, finally noticing me staring at her, she explained that her sister, Xion, had disappeared. She didn't know where she went or when she was coming back."

I fell silent, starting to feel down again, but was surprised to note that Axel was gazing at my room in a new light, looking almost appreciative. He looked at me and smiled. "Your room isn't so bad."

My heart swelled as I gave him a watery laugh. He just hummed at me and kissed my temple. "Please, continue."

I sighed. "I really should have known what I was getting into right after she told me. But I was too curious for my own good. I had to know more about her. So every day, after that, I would return to her room, chatting and getting to know her. Her name was Namine Taurus, from a place that no longer existed, and wanted to be an artist someday. The more she told me, and the more I confessed to her, the more I wanted to be with her."

Axel tensed again, and I leaned against his chest, trying to dispel his discomfort. "Oh, don't worry. It was one-sided. I think she knew that the only reason I was romantically interested in her was because I wanted some of her goodness."

"What happened?"

I frowned, attempting to access the part of my memories of Namine that I had buried a long time ago. "Well…one day, Namine wasn't in her usual spot by the window when I came to visit. She was waiting for me in the hallway. I asked her what she was doing, and she replied that she was…saving me. She said that I was ready to change. When I tried to protest, she silenced me by whispering that it was time for her to find her sister. But, as she reminded me as she kissed my cheek, she would always be there for me. All I had to do was look at the sunlight coming in through the window, and she would be there, giving me advice like always."

Axel smiled a bit to himself. "So that explains why you always get sugary around sunlight."

I let out a breath, smiling back at him. "I didn't know anyone had even noticed."

"I watch you a lot." He admitted with a shameless shrug. I laughed. I could always count on Axel to completely transform what would be an awkward conversation into a funny one.

"I never saw Namine again after that. To this day I'm not sure if she's…dead…or just around the world somewhere, sipping Piña Coladas with Xion." I laughed fondly. "Either way, I started going to see Aerith every day, actually listening and paying attention. But changing my ways was hard. It just seemed easier to completely erase the old Roxas and recreate a newer version. So that's what I did."

"And that's when you and Sora moved back here." Axel finished. I nodded. He got it.

I let out a sigh of relief and collapsed against Axel. I couldn't believe I had actually told another person every dirty detail about my past. It was incredibly exhausting. My heart was still beating irregularly, still nervous that Axel would realize how worthless I was and leave me.

I blinked up at him, trying to gauge his reaction. He was staring down thoughtfully at me, idly rubbing circles into my arm. I blushed a bit at his contact. It was awfully strange for him to be touching me so fondly when I had just revealed that I was a phony.

"You know," He began, laying so that we were both on our backs, side by side, staring up at the gruesomely covered ceiling. "I think I get you."

"You do?" I asked doubtfully. How could he get me? _I_ didn't even get me!

But he seemed sure in his idea. He even nodded resolutely. "Yep."

"Care to elaborate?" I demanded impatiently, growing anxious. Who knows what he was thinking…for all I knew, he could be thinking I was an alien!

"You, my friend, are two steps away from achieving split-personality disorder; you know, if you're not careful." He stated firmly. I jerked in complete shock. _Excuse_ me?

"You can't be serious!" I cried in disbelief, sitting up to glare down at him. "You don't just go around telling people that, you dick!"

Axel smirked and pointed at me. "See, right there. That was Roxas speaking. But earlier, when you were telling your story, you were working hard to ensure that you were completely honest with me. That was Angel."

Ignoring my exaggerated head shaking, he pressed on determinedly. "You have these two personalities, but you refuse to merge them. Roxas doesn't think he deserves Angel, and Angel feels like he isn't allowed to be Roxas anymore. But what you forget is that you harbor one body, one soul. You need to be one, Rox."

I stared at him blankly. Was this really happening? Was the love of my life actually telling me that I was two people in one?

If that was true, why the hell wouldn't that be something Aerith deducted? _She_ was the therapist, for goodness sake! Axel was just a high schooler.

But I had to admit, something about Axel's words made sense. It explained my mood swings and contradicting thoughts.

Truth is, Axel was right.

I was two halves of an incomplete whole.

Just as I opened my mouth to admit that his theory made sense, the sound of the front door opening startled me. I jumped up, widening my eyes at Axel. I had to hide him. _Now_.

"The closet!" I hissed, running over to slam my room door shut as the sound of racing footsteps on the stairs was heard. I pushed Axel towards my closet door, practically carrying him over.

"Wait, there's no like, dead body in there, right?" Axel asked me hesitantly, cautiously opening the door. But before he could protest further, I pushed him inside and shut the door, leaning my back against it. There.

Good thing too. Because not a second after I had closed the door, my own room door swung open, revealing an enraged Sora and an irritated Riku. Not a good combination.

I laughed nervously at the couple. "Hey guys! How was school?"

"Well, I'm sure it would have been better if my younger brother hadn't tried to kill himself!" Sora snapped, striding into the room and grabbing me by the collar. "What the hell were you thinking?"

I coughed awkwardly. It was a little embarrassing getting lectured in front of Axel. "I…wasn't?"

"Your damn right you weren't!" Sora shouted, letting go of me in disgust so abruptly that I stumbled to the ground. I blinked up at him confusedly. What was his deal?

"Sora…I'm sorry." I stressed slowly, frowning now. This wasn't like him at all. I glanced at Riku, trying to get some answers out of him, but he was still in the doorway, eyeing my room warily. Oh right…he had never been inside of it.

I turned my attention back to Sora. He was shaking! He was that pissed at me? I felt like my gut was twisting. I wasn't trying to hurt anybody.

"You know, Roxas," Sora started, suddenly looking very tried. "I've always protected you from the judgment of other people. When people were going around whispering that my baby brother was a murderer, I made it my life's mission to clear your name. But there's one person I can't protect you from. And that's yourself."

I was speechless. To hear this, on top of what Axel said, made me feel broken. Like something was wrong with me, as if I was some broken, misfit toy. Never had I felt so…scattered.

I wanted to line the pieces up.

"Sora," I began seriously, blinking slowly, "I think there's a serious possibility that I'm irreversibly…fucked up."

My brother gaped at me. No doubt he was registering my usage of the word 'fuck' again. But before he could say anything else, an unidentified chuckle was heard from the closet. I shut my eyes tightly in exasperation. Damn it Axel!

"What the hell was that?" Riku demanded, looking enormously creeped out. He shook his head and backed away from us quickly. "Sorry, I'm out of here."

Sora and I watched blankly as Riku ran out the room. I turned back to face him. Anyway. "I-I can explain."

Sora narrowed his eyes at me before sighing and shaking his head. "I don't even want to know. Just…get whoever that is out of here before dinner."

With that, Sora left the room, searching for his wimpy, chicken boyfriend. I let out a sigh of relief. Thank goodness for Sora's capacity to only stay focused on one thing at a time.

I stalked over to my closet, kicked it hard for good measure, and then wretched it open, glaring at its current inhabitant. Axel, said inhabitant, shrugged helplessly at me.

"I found some of your baby pictures." He grinned, holding up a photo of me shoving my diaper into Cloud's horrified face. "You were so cute! What happened?"

I gave him a disgusted look before shutting the door in his face and walking away from him. Axel immediately followed after me, laughing the entire time. "Sorry, sorry! Just kidding! You know I think you're adorably sexy."

I could _not_ believe he was making jokes! I whirled around, angrily shoving a finger in his face. "You almost fucked me over with Sora, you dick!"

Axel cracked a half-grin. "Clearly Roxas is back."

I huffed indignantly, plopping down on my bed in annoyance. "He never left, asshole."

"Hey, don't take your crazy, split personality disorder out on me, Angel." Axel retorted, sitting down next to me and giving me a_ come-on-man-stop-being-stupid_ look. At my hurt expression (I was sensitive about my possible disorder! Jeez…), he added, "You know I'm only kidding."

I stubbornly folded my arms and looked away from him. "It's not funny."

How could my personality problems by funny? Only a jerk would make fun of someone about it. But it was so hard to stay mad at him when his delicious, tantalizing scent was practically invading my senses. He was _way_ too close for comfort. I tried to scoot away, but Axel reached out and, in one slick movement, twisted me so that I was on my back, and he was hovering over me.

"Hey!" I protested, but it was obvious to the both of us that it was half-hearted. My cheeks reddened and my breath lost its steadiness, instead coming out sporadic and uneven. For the love of all that is wholly, Axel's sexiness should be outlawed.

"I'm sorry." Axel murmured huskily, kissing my right temple. I shut my eyes, giving up all pretenses. I shamelessly arched into him, causing him to moan slightly before he moved down to my sensitive collar bone.

"I'm sorry, Angel." He repeated, biting me lightly and inducing a moan from me. I nodded, dazed, as he whispered it again into my skin. Cheese and rice, I forgave him already, jeez!

It was kind of hard not to when his hot, wonderful tongue was creating such amazing sensations. Before I could stop myself, I grabbed his head with both hands and brought his lips to mine, desiring that tongue in my mouth.

I wasn't sure that I would ever get tired of kissing those lips. It was like they were made specifically for me.

And then, I did something that was so unlike me, and yet…completely me.

"We…w-we should fuck." I whispered shakily in his ear, curling my tongue around his lobe. He jerked, and I could feel his toes curl against my leg in surprised pleasure. Something inside of me cheered triumphantly. See. I could be sexy too.

Axel stared down at me. His eyes were so wide that they were practically bugging out of their sockets. "Why are you…what do you…for real?"

I laughed at his jumbled statement but decided to address each unfinished question. "Because I want you…I mean that I need you inside of me…and yes, for real."

He started to kiss me again, frantic with need (or because he thought I was going to change my mind), before pulling away just as frantically, practically flipping the bed over in his haste. I glared up at him as he licked his lips unconsciously. Um…those lips belonged on mine! What was he waiting for?

He gazed down at me, appearing speechless, before murmuring, "You're really willing to give me your body?"

I immediately blushed. Did he have to put it that way?

Well…it was true, I was ready! This man knew who I used to be…and wasn't running for the hills. He was trying to help me with my problems because he cared about me. And most importantly, he knew the real Roxas.

Of course I trusted him with my body! But I was way too embarrassed to repeat it.

"I-I…I mean, yeah, sure." I huffed, crossing my arms and looking away. When I heard nothing, I glanced back at him. He was staring at me tenderly, as if I was the most precious thing he had ever seen. I reddened even further.

"You want me." He repeated softly, slowly running a hand down my face and to my chest. I shivered and ached for that hand to touch my actual skin. He leaned down and whispered in my ear, "I want you too."

I shivered again. His breath was hot; it made me feel tingly and aroused and warm. I managed to give him a weak grin. "I know."

"That's why I'm not going to fuck you." He quipped with a little chuckle, and before I could protest, he removed his entire body from the bed, standing up and smirking down at my pout. "Aw, come on. Don't give me that look."

I pouted even further. This wasn't fair! "You got me all excited…and now you're rejecting me?"

Jeez. Who would have thought that Axel Highwind, sexiest guy on the island, was a tease?

Axel hesitated as his eyes roomed from the bulge in my pants to my pouty expression. He tentatively sat back down next to me, cautious, as if he expected me to jump him at any time.

He was probably right to be cautious.

"Why," He began slowly, running a slightly shaking hand through his vibrant red hair, "do you want to fuck me? I mean, I already knew you did. But why now?"

I licked my lips, eyeing his long, manly neck. I wanted to kiss that neck so badly.

Truth is, I wanted to lick everything on Axel.

"Secretly, I've wanted this for a long time." I admitted grudgingly. I rolled my eyes when he grinned knowingly at me. "Fine, you were right, I admit it. But I always held back because I was scared…"

Axel slid a little closer to me, and I could see the light at the end of the tunnel.

"And now that you're ready…?" Axel pressed, lightly tracing a finger down my bulge. My breath stuttered slightly as I tried to continue.

"And now that I'm ready…there's no reason to…" I swallowed thickly. My words were failing me. "Well…you know…"

"Wait?" Axel guessed, but before instead of waiting for an answer, he ripped off my shirt in one fluid motion and proceeded to attach those sensual, hot lips to my apparently sensitive nipples.

I bit my lip and writhed, trying to keep from moaning again. I didn't want Axel to think that I was some kind of inept, lovestruck virgin who was bad in bed. Axel moved his lips from my nipples up to my neck, sucking and biting on a pleasurable spot that I didn't even know was there.

"No, no, no. Let me hear you." Axel murmured lowly, watching as my hands came up to cover my mouth completely. I shook my head; my face was deep scarlet. There was no way I would give in. It was too embarrassing.

Moving his lips to my left ear, he created a seductive pattern of licking, sucking and nipping. I moaned. Hotly, he whispered, "Your moaning turns me on so badly."

When I gave him a doubtful expression, he yanked my hand down to press against his very large and very prominent hard-on. It pulsed at my touch, and I could feel the heat as if I was pressing my hand against the outskirts of an oven.

My eyes widened in shock as I gaped up at him. He smirked down at me, unashamed, and, if possible, I reddened even further. "A-Are you…going to fuck me, then?"

Axel laughed. "Yes. Just not today."

Suddenly, all traces of innocent little Angel vanished. I glared up at him. "You fucking tease! I'm so hard right now it hurts!"

Axel just laughed harder, actually tearing up. "You're adorable."

"Shut up!" I ordered sharply, but I'm pretty sure it came out as a whine. "Stop making fun of me!"

Axel sobered up a bit and gave me a quick kiss to the corner of my lips before sitting up and grinning down at me. "I'm not."

I frowned up at him, resisting the temptation to fold my arms like a five year old. "It kind of seemed like you were."

Axel's grin only widened further. Grimacing at him, I started to sit up too before a strong hand on my chest pushed me down again. I glanced at up him…then wished I hadn't. I was just starting to get my blush down again—Axel's eyes were smoldering in lust and desire.

"Allow me to quickly finish what I started." He offered gallantly, but before I could respond, his tongue was on my arousal through my jeans and my mind had completely left the building.

After a few minutes of torture, he swiftly pulled my jeans and boxers off and began to rock my world…

The first thought I could conjure was that I really needed to be quieter…Sora was right down the hall. But that ended up being a fail.

The second thought I could conjure was that Axel's tongue was so freaking amazing it should be outlawed! Illegal! It felt so _good_. So, so…damn good.

The third thought I could conjure was that I didn't want to come in Axel's mouth…but as he hummed pleasantly, sending intense vibrations through me, I came harder than I ever had with Reno…and my hand…and I spurted down Axel's throat.

I tried to catch my breath again, practically gasping for air, as I unclenched my fists and relaxed. Axel smirked smugly at me, standing up and not even bothering to hide the thick, thick bulge that was in his jeans. I blushed instantly and sat up quickly.

"Aw, shit, I'm so selfish! What about you? Should I…" I faltered, trying to remember all of what Axel had done to me, so I could return the favor. But for some reason my mind was still in a state of goo. "I-I could try…to do…yours…"

Axel raised an eyebrow, his expression full of wickedness. "I'll take you up on that."

I gulped. "R-Really?"

The red head burst out laughing again and shook his head. I sighed a bit in relief. Thank goodness. The last thing I needed was for Axel to think I was quick _and_ bad in bed.

"Don't worry, I meant that I'll teach you some other time. For now, you should go eat dinner, do some homework, then spend the whole night jacking off in remembrance of what I've just done to you." Axel explained pleasantly with a smirk. As I gaped at him, he saluted me and actually left the room. I jumped up and watched him walk straight past Sora's room, pausing to grin at me, before going down the stairs and out the door, as if he hadn't just rocked my world with my brother and his boyfriend in the house.

I let out a breath and rested my head against the door. Now I _really_ wanted to have sex with him.

Oh, how the mighty fall.

* * *

The next morning, I floated happily from my house all the way to school, much to the confusion of Sora and Riku, who had both forgiven me. At their curious stares, I only smiled sweetly back at them, feeling completely and utterly fantastic!

This might possibly be the start to the best day I would ever have!

But then I got to school.

And realized that I was wrong.

Because school kills dreams.

I was practically bombarded with angry girls, including Selphie who was leading the pack of women. Now, I prided myself on being manly and all that, but…I have to admit…I let out a shriek that was far from being masculine.

"Roxas Strife, we just want to let you know that none of us support this….this _thing_ you have with Axel Highwind." Selphie declared, thrusting a petition into my hands. I stared down at it. It was ten pages long!

I blinked up at her. Why was she doing this? "Selphie…"

"You have nothing to worry about. They aren't even dating, Sel." Sora laughed, coming up and shielding me from the hostile females glaring me down. "Give the guy a break!"

"Yeah, he likes…_Zexion_." Riku added, making the name sound like some kind of disease.

Sora paused, turning to frown at me. "Wait, I thought you liked Hayner!"

I groaned in exasperation. It was no one's business! "Who _cares_?"

I saw that Selphie was faltering, and for a second, I thought maybe we could settle this quickly, but her back-up girls picked up on her doubts and came to her aid.

"What about that thing on the bus yesterday? He defended him!" A voice shouted from the back, but I couldn't tell who it was. I frowned. That didn't even have anything to do with my feelings for Axel!

"He was just being nice! He's a nice person! Remember?" Sora shouted back, folding his arms in irritation. Then he focused on Selphie. "You, of all people, should know that. We're all supposed to be friends!"

Selphie looked embarrassed for a second before she schooled her features into a frown. And, of course, she directed it at me. "Roxas, Axel is all wrong for you. He's the sexy bad boy in town, you know? He'll chew you up and spit you out! I'm just trying to look out for you!"

Riku snorted from behind me. "Yeah right. You're only looking out for yourself. You're in love with Axel Highwind and everyone knows it."

Selphie immediately reddened, averting her face in her bouncy curls. "Th…That isn't true."

I felt a small twinge run through me at her reaction and it wasn't pleasant. She was in love with Axel? What? That couldn't be possible. He didn't give girls like her the time of day anymore. Right?

Right? I chewed on my bottom lip.

I didn't actually know the answer to that. I was in such a state of screwed-up-ness that I hadn't paid any attention to what _his_ life was like. As selfish as it was, I had liked the time when everyone stayed away from him in loyalty to me. It meant I had him all to myself. But now that I had cleared his name officially, the girls could go back to swooning over him again.

I grimaced as I eyed the petition again. It seemed that now I had competition.

"I…" I started, knowing that this was the time that I was supposed to fight for him. But all the fight had left me the second I had put that kid in a coma. "I'm not…dating Axel Highwind."

Sora stuck his tongue out at Selphie triumphantly as the rest of her followers mumbled apologies and set out for their classes. She stood there for another moment, staring at me, and in her gaze, I saw a startling resolution.

She knew I was lying.

And she was going to prove it.

I opened my mouth to say something to her—what I was going to say, I had no clue—but she shook her head and walked off in the opposite direction. I sighed and then realized for the first time that my heart was hammering in my chest.

This was going to be harder than I thought.

"Can you believe her? She's such a Romeo!" Sora laughed, dragging me to my locker as Riku chuckled behind us. "She hardly even knows him and she was willing to bite your head off for him!"

I laughed nervously. "Yeah…what a Romeo."

"You'll be okay to go to your locker by yourself, right?" Riku asked me, concerned. At my nod and Sora's bewildered expression, he added, "Sora and I want to get in a little extra…_keyblade_ practice before class."

Both Sora and I blinked up at him. What did _that_ mean?

Riku discreetly ran a hand down Sora's chest and into his pants. "_This_ keyblade."

"Ugh, Riku! Gross! Go away!" I cried, not waiting for his reply and instead running down the hall to my locker as Sora moaned loudly from his caress.

Jeez. It was a little early to have to deal with them, wasn't it?

I shook my head as I opened my locker. This day was getting worse by the minute.

Where was Axel? He needed to understand that I was going to have to renege on our relationship status…at least in public.

Then, of course, I smelled him. His wonderful cinnamon, red spice scent that I had become intimately familiar with 24 hours ago. I looked up to see him walking towards me from the other end of the hall, smirking at the fact that I had gone completely frozen. My eyes were glued to his every movement.

I watched as he winked at a couple of girls drooling over him, and they immediately giggled. I clenched my fist and turned away as he smiled at another set of swooning girls. I knew he was only being friendly…but still. Didn't he realize that so many girls wanted him?

Wait…was I jealous?

Was I even allowed to be jealous? It's not like I was giving him much leeway here…I wouldn't even let him tell the world that we were going steady.

I looked up to see that Axel was just a few steps away from me. I turned away again and once more concentrated on chewing my bottom lip.

"So…" Axel began as he reached my locker, leaning on the one next to it and grinning at me knowingly. "How was your night?"

I stared up at him tiredly, pushing the memories of this morning in the back of my mind. "You were right."

Axel's grin grew even wider. "Oh, was I?" He leaned forward and pressed his lips to my ear.

"Too bad it wasn't _my_ hand around your—"

I had to stop him right there…even though it was exactly what I was wishing last night. "Wait! Axel, we can't do this here!"

His face fell in confusion, and I felt like such an ass. But it wasn't my fault that society frowned upon the angel/bad boy mixture! "We have to remain a secret."

"_What?_" Axel demanded, outraged. I jumped a little. I knew he wouldn't hurt me but…he looked super pissed! He groaned angrily. "Are you serious, Angel? Didn't we talk about this? Didn't you say you were going to try and be yourself?"

My shoes were suddenly extremely interesting. I really needed to get around to cleaning them. "I-I…I know what I said."

Axel gently lifted my head up to face him. His expression softened as our eyes met. "So what's the problem?"

I sighed and relaxed again as his hand stroked my cheek. "When people find out that we're dating, they won't think less of you. They'll think you're the man! But your reputation is so…um…_established_ as a sexy, womanizing badass that _I'm going to look bad_."

Aw shit. That came out wrong.

Axel's hand dropped from my face. He looked pissed again and, even more shocking, very hurt. "So this isn't about _your_ reputation. It's about mine."

I frowned. That sounded really bad when said out loud like that. "Axel, please."

"No, I get it. Your baggage is fine, but mine is insufferable. Thanks a lot, kid." He breathed, backing away from me. Now it was my turn for my face to fall.

"Axel—"I began, reaching out for him, but he dodged my grasp and stalked away from me down the opposite end of the hall. I groaned and banged my head against my locker. What was wrong with me? I couldn't let the man have one good day with me!

But it wasn't like I had a choice here! I said I would try to be myself again, and that's what I intended to do. But being with Axel was so complicated…everyone thought that he was wrong for me.

"But what do _you_ think?" Zexion asked me quietly, suddenly right next to me, and I jumped out of my skin. What the—where the hell did he come from?

"What the hell, man?" I cried, backing up quickly and bumping into an unidentified student. I placed a hand to my beating heart as Zexion cracked a small smile.

"Did you...did you just read my mind?" I gasped, aware of the first bell ringing but feeling unable to move. This was starting to get creepy. I always suspected Zexion had some kind of…_specialty_, but I was never sure.

Zexion chuckled slightly and shook his head. "Not exactly. But that's not what's important. What's important is that you're hurting my friend through your insecurities."

I flushed and looked away from him, shutting my locker and leaning against it. "I don't mean to."

Zexion gave me a kind look. "I know you don't, Roxas. But Axel has loved you for five years. Isn't it time you began to love yourself?"

I turned to him sharply. How did he know that I…that I didn't…that I couldn't…

I guess it wasn't that hard to see. All one had to do was glance at me closely.

But that was _my_ problem! No one else's.

Besides…Axel surely didn't love me now.

"Don't worry about Axel. He has fire running through his blood, so he has a hard time controlling his temper. But like fire, he loses steam quickly." Zexion added, giving me another smile. I jumped again. What the hell?

_Stop that! _

"Get out of my thoughts!" I cried loudly, gaining the attention of a couple of stragglers who were running to class. I tried to calm down. This wasn't Zexion's fault. It was all mine. No need to shout at him for just trying to help. "I mean…how does someone even begin to love themselves again?"

Zexion shrugged as he calmly set off for his next class. He paused at the end of the hallway, turning back to call out to me. "That's up for you to figure out."

I scowled. Thanks Zex. Real helpful.

Then I shook my head and let a tiny smile ghost on my lips. Actually…it kind of was.

* * *

This time, it was Olette who was staring at me during lunch, gazing at me as if I was some kind of stranger. I continued chewing my sandwich, struggling to avoid her penetrating gaze, before I gave up with an exasperated sigh. No one could eat like this!

"_What_?" I snapped grumpily, grimacing when she jumped at my tone. Great…I didn't mean to scare the poor girl. "I mean…what is it, Olette?"

She exchanged a glance with Pence, who looked equally curious, before announcing, "I feel so confused about who you are, Roxas!"

I groaned, letting my head bang against the table. No! Couldn't I enjoy a meal without someone inquiring about who I was? Even Hayner, who was stiffly eating his lunch as far away from me at the table as possible, kept giving me bewildered glances when he thought I wasn't watching.

"Look!" I declared, throwing my sandwich down on the table in disgust. "I'm _me_! Or at least…I'm trying to be myself for a change. So just…let me, alright?"

With that, I stormed away from the table, taking off for the library. At least _there_ I wouldn't be bothered.

As I walked, I thought about what Olette asked. Did I seem different or something?

Maybe Axel really _was_ changing me. I mean, come to think of it, I was slowly placing cuss words back into my vocabulary. And I was kind of getting…bitcher.

If that was even a word.

Considering how little I was paying attention to where I was going—I was so lost in my thoughts—I shouldn't have been surprised when I bumped into a tall, mescaline person and fell straight on my ass.

But I was. Surprised, I mean.

"Whoa!" I cried out, startled, as I blinked up at whoever I bumped into. It didn't really cross my mind to apologize, which was another change that had clearly overcome me, but I managed to smile sheepishly up at the shadow that was staring down at me.

"Sorry." I finally managed, still smiling, as green eyes came into view. My smile turned quizzical. "Axel?"

Axel rolled his eyes and hauled me up in one swift motion by grabbing my elbows. He immediately let go of me the second I was upright. "Who else would it be?"

I shrugged and followed him like a little puppy back to where he was previously sitting at one of the library desks. I slid into the chair opposite of him, glancing at the multiple papers that decorated the table like a second skin. What was he doing?

Axel tried to ignore my gaze, but after a while, he finally just glanced up at me and muttered, "Applications", in response to my questioning expression.

Like an idiot, I had no clue what he was talking about. "Applications for what?"

Axel actually blushed. We had made love, seen each other naked, and told each other our deepest thoughts…and still he blushed. I felt a warm, clenching feeling overtake me, and I kind of felt like reaching over right then and there and hugging him tightly to my chest.

He…

Axel Highwind was so cute!

"You're blushing!" I murmured affectionately, practically melting from the cuteness. He rolled his eyes at me again before sliding one of the papers on the table towards me. I blinked down at it.

Applications for Bastion University, TWTNW College, The Institute of Tron Technology…

I looked up at him in horror. "College applications?"

He scratched his head and leaned back in his chair. "Yeah…I know it's kind of stupid for a guy like me to be applying, but…I figured, why not? Worth a shot. If I managed to make you, my crush of five years, fall in love with me, I can manage to think about my future."

Then he scowled down at the desk. "Well, ya know…I thought that shit about you loving me up until today."

I answered immediately without thinking. "Well of course I love you, Axel. You're everything."

"So you say. Can't you just…forget about all of them?" He pleaded, but his tone was harsh. I could tell by his exhausted expression that he was getting very tired of having this conversation with me. Hell, I was tired of all this too. But it's like I had said before—It was not like I had a choice in the matter!

I figured now might be a good time to change the subject.

"College, huh?" I mulled, running a finger down the application he had slid towards me. "How…so like, h-how far do you think you're willing to…you know…go?"

That seemed to disarm his anger for a second. He gazed at me for a long moment, his expression unreadable. Then finally, a simple, "It all depends on where I get in."

"Oh."

A tense silence passed. Finally, I slowly stood up from the desk. I forced a smile on my face. "Then I guess I understand why you're mad at me."

He eyed me warily. "Do you?"

"Once you go to college," I began, smiling sadly, "this is all going to be over. We only have a couple of months left together, and here I am, fucking it up all for my high school reputation."

Axel sighed and, with the third eye roll of the conversation, grabbed my hand, pulling my body so it fit snuggly up against his. My heart sputtered helplessly. _He feels so good…_

"You're right that I want to spend time with you while I'm still here. Publicly. Unashamedly. Because you're mine and I want everyone to know."

At my nod—and slightly dejected sigh (as sweet as that sounded, I couldn't take my mind off the idea of him leaving)—Axel gently raised my chin so that I was gazing directly into his mesmerizing green eyes. His expression softened.

"But you're wrong about me leaving you. I will never be able to let this go, Roxas. No matter if I go to the community college or the university on the way other side of the world, I'll never let this end." He informed me seriously. I shivered. That was intense.

"Face it, Angel. You're stuck with me." He smirked. _There_ was the mocking guy I was in love with. I smiled back at him, standing up on my tiptoes so I could give him a peck on the lips. Right as I was about to pull away, however, his arms tightened, effectively cutting off my plans of escape. He casually pulled my lower lip into his mouth, sucking gently and evoking a small moan from the back of my throat.

Satisfied, he released me. I sagged back into my seat; my knees had buckled. Damn. He laughed lightly at my glare.

"Sorry."

* * *

At combat class, I had found another little oddity. My fighting style had changed.

Usually, I was very focused on the person I was fighting so that I wouldn't hurt them. I would use the same move every time to even up the playing field and never did I actually enjoy the fighting.

But now…

I was like Master Chief! I was dominating the class! Everyone I went up against, I defeated in a matter of minutes. Well, until Axel came up against me, smirking and looking all sexy and stuff. Shoot.

We were pretty well matched for the entire fight, and I have to admit, it was pretty fun not holding back. I actually found myself smiling while we fought, which was definitely not a good idea with everyone already so suspicious of us, but I couldn't help it! I was having so much fun!

Finally, the final bell rang and we had to make the fight a tie.

"Look at you, being all aggressive." Axel whistled as he walked me to my locker. "I have to say, I'm very impressed."

I blushed and hid my face in my locker. "Thanks…I guess."

"So…what are we going to do about your little 'appearance problem'?" Axel asked in a tone colored with amusement. I glared at him, having finished packing my backpack, and slammed my locker door shut.

"It's not _my_ problem. Your fan club equals _your_ problem. I'm just trying to be proactive about it." I snapped, motioning for him to follow me as I headed down the hallway. He rolled his eyes but obediently followed me.

"Whatever. I'm not the one freaking out about it." He grumbled, blinking when I stopped abruptly. "What is it?"

I sighed. Everyone was staring at us. In my adrenaline rush from combat class, I had forgotten that Axel and I were the subjects of the hour in school. We couldn't be seen being so amicable and close, not with the rumor mill still churning about us.

"I forgot about the rumors." I whispered, biting my lip. He began to laugh but one look from me silenced him. He cleared his throat and instead snorted,

"Fine, I'll play your little game. Are you taking the bus from now on?"

I nodded, taking a step back and into an empty classroom. Axel raised an eyebrow and joined me, closing the door behind him.

"I think it's better if we're as distant as possible in school." I admitted, fumbling with my fingers. Axel groaned, running a hand through his spikes in an attempt to calm down.

"How can I be with you if_ I can't be with you_?" He demanded, slamming a fist against the blackboard behind me. I flinched. He was always so angry…sometimes it reminded me of me. Well, you know, past me.

Noting my silence, he took a deep breath. "Sorry. I'm just a bit frustrated."

"I know." I murmured, sliding my arms around his neck, a feat only accomplished by standing on my tiptoes. "I am too."

"Should we just…stop seeing each other?" He whispered, gazing into my eyes. "Is that what you want?"

I frowned almost immediately. "No. Jeez, of course that's not what I want. Is that what _you_ want?"

Axel gave me a pointed look that answered my question. We both fell silent, deep in thought. Finally, I came up with a solution.

"I have an idea! What if we just make a schedule? Like, at lunch we can hang out. But during classes and stuff, we either don't see each other or act like we have some big project we have to be around each other for. Then, after school I can take the bus home, and after that, we can hang out again!" I exclaimed. This could work! Sure, it was a bit unorthodox and kinda complicated, but desperate times called for desperate measures! We could make this happen!

Axel pursed his lips, staring at me, and my heart was beating so fast it was practically about to explode. I wanted this so badly…if Axel agreed.

"Let's add one more thing to this deal. If I go along with it…you have to go back to seeing Aerith for therapy." Axel said quietly. My jaw dropped. What?

"Why? I'm doing just fine being myself again!"

Axel gave me another look. "We're in an empty classroom because you're too scared to even walk down the hall with me. I would think not."

I huffed and folded my arms. If this was the only way he would go along with this, then…I would have to make the sacrifice. "Oh alright. I'll do it."

Axel, who seemed surprised that I agreed, blinked at me. I gave him an amused grin. Ha! I wasn't as predictable as he thought! Internally, I cheered myself for my valiant effort.

After snapping out of it, Axel just rolled his eyes at me. "Fine. Whatever…we can go along with that for a little while. But you know we're going to have to come out with this eventually, right?"

I waved that off. "Yeah, sure. Oh Axel, I'm so happy!"

And with that, I pulled his lips to mine, making our deal…and our love...official.

* * *

As crazy as it was, I had finally established a balanced routine. Well, semi-balanced, at least. But it was a start! It went like this:

Go to school.

Skip lunch to make-out with Axel.

Ride the bus home.

Do homework/Procrastinate like crazy.

Go to therapy.

Go back home to eat dinner.

Sneak out to hang with Axel.

Sneak back in, go to bed, and do it all over again.

So okay. Fine. It probably wasn't the healthiest routine. Aerith herself said that even though I was being myself again, I was lying to everyone around me. But she didn't understand how hard it was to ignore what people thought of me! Their opinions mattered to me, damn it. At the same time, Axel mattered a whole damn lot, too.

So I really had no choice but to live this crazy, destructive lifestyle. Why couldn't I have my cake and eat it, too?

What with it being February and all, I was struck with the thought that Axel, being my secret boyfriend and all, was probably going to want to do something outside of this routine for Valentine's Day. We'd been "going out" for about three months now…that constituted _something_, right?

"Sora…" I began inquiringly as Sora, Riku and I made our daily trek to school in the chilly, February air. I finally felt warm enough to walk around sans scarf, but that just made it harder to hide Axel's "labels", aka his hickies. Still…it was too warm to wear Sora's heavy love scarves.

Sora, who had previously been engaged in a violent poking war with Riku, shoved Riku to the side and gave me his full attention. "Yes, Rox?"

"What are you and Riku doing for Valentine's Day? It's coming up in a week." I asked him, rolling my eyes when he gasped and fidgeted with his phone, searching for the date.

"What?" He exclaimed, running a shocked hand through his spikes. "I thought it was January!"

I frowned at him. Jeez…way to be a flake. "No, it's definitely February. How could you get that mixed up? Don't you have a massive project due by the end of month?"

Sora looked near tears. "Yes…it was supposed to be an experiment that took place throughout the entire month. Now I'm missing a whole two weeks!"

Riku snorted and took his hand, giving it a sweet kiss. "Don't worry, I knew you would forget. I already talked to the teacher about us working together. I've…I mean, _we've_…been monitoring the effects of the darkness on everyday household objects."

Sora let out a huge sigh of relief before throwing his arms around him and giving him a huge kiss, right in front of me and the rest of the school. "This is why I've always loved you, Riku. You know me better than anyone else."

I scowled. "What about me? I'm your flesh and blood, damn it!"

But they were ignoring me, as well as the world, at that point. They were kissing as if their lives depended on it. I scoffed and took off for my locker. Thank goodness _I_ wasn't all lovey dovey for Axel.

As I reached my locker, I noticed a familiar tall, sexy redhead leaning against it, and before I could help myself, I sighed amorously.

Aw shit…maybe I _was_ lovey dovey.

Only for Axel, though.

And that made it okay.

Once Axel saw me, he immediately smirked, remaining unmoving in front of my locker. I hid a grin. This was the game we played during school; we would pretend that we were just acquaintances so no one would suspect anything.

"You're blocking my locker, Axel." I informed him primly, eyeing him in false annoyance. "Don't you have your own?"

Axel raised an eyebrow, obnoxiously taking a step to the side so that I could access my locker. "I wasn't aware I was blocking it. Sorry. Anyway…"

He paused as a couple of kids eyed us nosily, slowing so that they could hear our conversation. This time I couldn't stop the grin on my face as Axel leaned down and handed me a crumbled note, announcing loudly, "Don't forget, Roxas, we have to work on our project at lunch."

I schooled my features into a serious expression as I tucked the note into my agenda, acting as if it was an important piece of information for our fake assignment. "I would never forget something like that."

Axel nodded before starting to walk off, giving me a salute. I winked back when I thought no one was looking, before slowly turning back to my locker. I almost wished we didn't have to do this; school just wasn't fun without Axel. But at least I would see him at lunch!

I cheerfully traded my books out and walked to class, blissfully unaware of anything going around me.

Maybe if I had, I would have noticed that Axel's note had slipped out of my agenda.

And maybe…just maybe…I would have noticed who had grabbed it.

* * *

For the first time ever, Olette wasn't in her normal, chipper mood. That didn't sit well with me. For one thing, it usually meant that _I_ did something. But frankly, I couldn't imagine what it possibly could be! I didn't do anything!

Except, ya know, sneak around behind her back with Axel.

But that didn't count! I was hiding that from everyone, so…no, did not count.

"Olette…what's the matter?" I asked her as I sat down at our lunch table. As always, I had planned to say a few words, leave, and go meet with Axel, but…seeing one of my friends looking so distressed worried me. I'd been so selfish lately that I hadn't been paying any attention to them.

Olette tucked a strand of her soft brown hair behind her ear and slowly glanced up at me. She reached in her pocket wordlessly, then slid a folded up paper across the table at me. Pence, Hayner and I stared at it for a moment before we all simultaneously lunged for it.

"Stop that—"

"Ouch, Hayner!"

"Let go of it, Rox!"

"She gave it to _me_, dammit! Let go!" I snapped, finally managing to rip it out of their hands. Sticking my tongue out at them in triumph, I swirled around in my chair to read it to myself. But as I unfolded the paper, registering the words that were scrawled on the paper, my heart sank.

It was the letter Axel had given to me this morning, the one I hadn't read yet.

_Dear Angel,_

_Remember when you said that you had never gotten a love letter? Well…sorry, no, you still haven't. This won't be a love letter. This will be a lust letter._

_Today, when I see you, I'm going to make you come harder than you've ever come before. You'll be dripping wet before we even get started. The taste of you is the sweetest drop on my tongue and later on, when I have you excited and—_

I couldn't finish the letter. Not when my cheeks were burning bright red, my mouth was hanging open, and my nether regions were standing at attention. I slowly folded the letter back up and glanced at Olette. She was staring at me with an unreadable expression on her face.

"Olette, I—"

"Who else knows?" She interrupted me, her voice harsh and demanding. I fell silent.

Finally, I answered softly, "Just you and his friends."

Olette pursed her lips, taking her eyes off of me and directing them at Hayner and Pence. "Do you guys mind giving Roxas and I a second alone?"

Hayner opened his mouth to protest, but Pence quickly agreed and yanked him out of his chair and to another empty table farther away. I watched them go with an expression akin to panic. Great. Now I was all alone with a surely angry and enraged Olette.

Never a safe thing.

"Why," she demanded, folding her arms and tilting her head at me, about to lay into me, I'm sure…"aren't you guys dating in public?"

"Olette, I'm sorry! I'm—" I began before her words registered in my head. Wait, what? She eyed me expectantly, waiting for me to respond.

"You aren't upset that we're seeing each other?" I asked her confusedly, blinking at her. She laughed before schooling her features into a scowl.

"Am I upset that you didn't tell me? Yes. Am I upset that you're doing the dirty with Axel Highwind, the sexy, uber popular bad boy in all of the islands? No." She explained testily, giving me a judgmental once-over. "Since when do you keep secrets from us?"

Since always.

"Well…" I began slowly, clearing my throat nervously. "I may have withheld information about certain things…"

Olette slammed her apple juice on the table with a grimace that could rival an Orc from Lord of the Rings. "Spill it."

* * *

After Olette had been properly informed on all matters Axel-related as well as my…well, mental issues, she was smiling and laughing again as she walked me to the library. I was a little unsure about whether Axel would be cool with Olette knowing about us, or freaked. I tended to think it would be the first option…

Then again, you never quite knew about Axel.

I slowly opened the door, peeking inside, but of course, Olette scoffed at me and burst through, grinning madly. "Axel baby! Where are you?"

Axel blinked up from a book he was flipping through, staring at Olette in confusion. "Um…hi? Olette, right? What's…up?"

Then his eyes found me, grimacing from behind the door, and no one could mistake the soft expression that erupted on his face. Olette burst into a fit of high-pitched giggles, clapping happily.

Axel's smile faded and now he just looked thrown off. He cocked his head at me suspiciously. "Hey, Roxas…why don't you come on out here and explain what's going on?"

I grimaced and did as I was told, dragging my feet the whole way. When I stopped in front of him, he grabbed my wrist and pulled me down on his lap, despite my protests.

"Our school assignment is to act like we're in love." He explained mockingly to Olette, even as I wriggled around, trying to escape. "Babe, your writhing is turning me on."

I shot him a look of disgust. "Gross!"

"Not what you said last night." Axel retorted cheekily, grinning wickedly at me as I gave him an annoyed glower. Finally managing to wriggle free, I turned to face him.

"I told Olette everything. She knows about us." I admitted, rolling my eyes as Olette meowed playfully at us. "It just came out, Ax. I'm sorry."

Axel's smile faded a bit and now he regarded me seriously. I gulped. Great, he looked mad.

"So you'll tell Olette, but you won't tell anyone else? Look, that's cool and all, Angel, but I just wish you would come out with it instead of us hiding as if it's wrong." Axel said sincerely, his eyes growing troubled. "Why can't this be an opportunity—?"

"Because it's not an opportunity, it's an accident! A mistake! This can never get out, Ax!" I exclaimed, his miserable expression making me in turn feel emotionally upset.

"I'm a mistake?" Axel snapped, glaring at me dangerously. I blinked and shook my head frantically, taking his hand in mine while I still felt safe enough to do so (Ax was scary as hell when he was upset).

"No. You're not a mistake. But telling the school will be." I explained, kissing his knuckles. He softened, but the reluctance to do so was clear on his face.

"I understand…"

"I understand too, Roxas, but I have to say, I'm on Team Axel here." Olette chimed in, looking unapologetic for disagreeing with me. "He's right."

Axel smirked. "See?"

I scowled at the both of them. Their alliance was going to be a pain in my ass down the road, I was sure of it.

"What are you really afraid of?" Olette pressed, sitting down at one of the chairs around the library table and giving me her utmost attention. "Seriously?"

"That's a good question." Axel added unhelpfully, winking at my frown. "Come on."

I turned away from them so they couldn't see my face. I knew that my expression would give me away.

The truth is, I had no clue what I was afraid of. My reputation…my appearance…those two things seemed so shallow. So what was the real reason behind keeping Axel a secret?

* * *

"Yes, Roxas, let's spend some time on this." Aerith smiled interestedly at me after I had relayed the events that happened with Axel and Olette at school today. "Think about it; why won't you come out of the closet?"

I made a face at her word choice. There was never a closet at my house. With two gay older brothers, it only seemed natural that I would end up gay too.

Yes. I had finally come to terms with it. No longer could I deny the fact that it wasn't a V but a P I desired in my most exotic fantasies. But anyway, that's not what she meant.

"I have no clue." I mumbled, looking away dejectedly. It was hopeless. I would never understand myself…never let go of the Angel persona.

But instead of pressing me further, she changed topics, asking, to my surprise, "Can we talk about Namine?"

I blinked in shock. We hadn't talked about Namine since the day she left. "Um, sure, I guess. Why?"

Aerith shrugged ominously. "You sound hesitant to discuss Namine. Where is that coming from?"

I shrugged as well. I just didn't understand why she was important to my relationship with Axel. "Nowhere. I just…don't need to talk about her."

Aerith nodded wisely, giving me a look that told me she knew exactly what was wrong with me, but wanted me to figure it out on my own.

I stared back at her, giving _her_ a look that said, 'I'm paying you, so please give me some damn answers'.

"Is it at all possible, Roxas," Aerith began cautiously, actually putting down her precious notepad for once and regarding me seriously, "that you're waiting for her to return?"

I gaped. That couldn't be true, not at all. I hastened to reassure her. "No. That…that can't be possible. I-I hardly even think about her anymore."

Aerith smiled sadly. "Unfortunately, it doesn't matter how little you think of her or how much you love Axel. There's a part of you—a part that I suspect is your dominant self—that has not received closure from your past. And that is the part that still loves her."

* * *

I walked back home in a daze, my mind still back at the counseling office.

Basically, after dropping that little bomb on me, Aerith explained that the reason I won't "come out" so to speak, is because the Roxas half of me is still pinning after Namine, and the Angel half is deeply in love with Axel.

"_I know it's a frightening concept, but you have to merge these selves, Roxas. Only then will you be able to fully commit yourself to Axel, if that is the dominating feeling."_

That meant, it was possible that when I became "myself"…I might not feel the same way about Axel. I might be more in love with Namine.

That scared me shitless.

Besides that, Aerith made "merging my selves" sound so easy. As if I knew exactly how to do that. She did say that I needed to make a choice between hypnosis or psychotherapy. If I chose psychotherapy, I would be fully admitting to believing that I have split personality disorder, during which she would try to determine my true personality, and what triggers my second personality.

The thing was, I felt the same, whenever I was "Roxas" or "Angel." So how was that going to help solve anything?

So sure, there was hypnosis left as my last option. But I didn't really believe in that shit. It sounded a lot like magic to me.

Maybe I should see what Axel thought about it.

But when I snuck out to be with Axel that night, I couldn't get the nerve to bring it up. Sitting at one of Axel's favorite spots, the rooftop of a Japanese steakhouse that smelled like smoke and reminded me of a junkyard, I had loads of opportunities to bring up Aerith's conclusions.

Instead, I focused on returning Axel's searing kisses as we lazily made-out, our bodies pressed up so close that I could hear his heart racing. My heart in turn skipped a beat as I realized just how much I would miss this—miss _him_—if Roxas did, in fact, love Namine more than Axel.

"So." Axel began, just the picture of ease as he grinned up at me (I was lying on top of him, my limbs having given out early in our kissing session), his voice too casual considering that I could feel his arousal pressing up against my thigh. "How was therapy today?"

To my horror, at the mention of therapy, I immediately burst into terrified tears. Axel's face fell, and he quickly set us up so that we were sitting up, facing each other. He gave me a confused grimace as he gently wiped my tears away. "What'd I say?"

I shook my head, frustrated. "Nothing! You didn't do anything. You're perfect, Ax. It's…It's me."

Axel chuckled half-heartedly. "Kind of sounds like you're breaking up with me."

At my miserable stare, the small smile dropped completely, and now he just looked panicked. "_Are_ you breaking up with me?"

I sighed. Might as well come out with it. Taking a deep breath, I told him everything, sparing no details as I filled him in on what was going on. The more I mentioned Namine, the more disappointed his face became, which was even worse than seeing him angry or annoyed.

"What are you going to do?" He asked me, his voice devoid of any emotion. I felt my eyes filling up with tears again.

"I don't know yet. I'm scared. I…Axel, I love _you_. I don't want to lose you to my past."

Axel stared at me with an unreadable expression on his face, and all I could do was gaze back at him, my face an open book full of regret, frustration and fear.

Finally, Axel sighed and said, "Well, at least I know that the reason you won't come out is because you're ashamed of me."

How could he have ever thought that? "Of course not."

Axel was quiet again as we both turned our attention back to the view of the cars below us, racing at the speed of light.

"I think you should do the hypnosis. Psychotherapy doesn't seem like something you would like." Axel muttered softly, slowly reaching out and grabbing my hand. I squeezed back tightly.

"That's what I was thinking. But Ax…are you…? Do you…? Do you really think I should go through with treatment? Can't things just stay the way they are?" I pleaded, begging him to stop me, stop all of this…

But Axel loved me selflessly. "No. You're slowly hurting yourself, Roxas. Despite the façade you put on, you aren't happy."

"But I'm happy with _you_." I whispered in a small voice. That cracked him a bit. He gave me a fond smile, but it didn't quite reach his eyes.

"I know. I feel the same way. But you have to be happy on your own. Are you ever happy when I'm not with you?" He challenged me, clearly giving me a tough love lecture.

I blinked. Come to think of it…no. I wasn't. When I didn't respond, Axel knew he had gotten his answer. Turning away but still holding my hand, I think we both came to one agreement.

No matter what happened tomorrow, next week, or even next year…we still had tonight.

* * *

**Next part is coming to you VERY soon. Seriously. **


	4. Obsession

**Hey everyone! I'm back again! And I've finally finished this baby! I seperated the ending into two full-length chapters and I really hope you enjoy it! It's been a bumpy ride!**

**Thanks to mah subscribers once more. You know how awesome you are. Who is awesome? You are awesome :)**

**Also, bear with Roxas, kay? Give this kid a break. I know you're gonna get annoyed with him (hell, I even did and I'm writing him!) but it gets better, I promise. That's exactly the reason I let you have Axel's POV...Roxas can get, um, frustrating. :D**

* * *

_March_

10 sessions later, I had quickly and successfully completed my hypnotherapy.

Everyone kept saying that I seemed so different now. Surer of myself or whatever, but…

I felt the same. Nothing really felt all that different for me. But one thing was for sure.

The insecurities were gone. I didn't feel anxious or nervous about what people thought of me. I didn't care. I didn't care about anyone or anybody either.

At least, from what I could tell.

After starting my therapy sessions two weeks ago, I slowly lost contact with Axel (I couldn't remember his last name for the life of me!) until he just kind of became this person I used to know.

The more I hung out with him, the more I forgot.

Olette kept insisting that we used to secretly date, that he had taken my virginity (_mentally_, she corrected when I argued this point), and that he was my one true love, but…I didn't remember any of that. At all. All I remembered about Axel were general things, like that he was the most popular boy in school and that we were acquaintances working on some mysterious school assignment (although Olette told me that was made-up, apparently).

The biggest disappointment was that no one could tell me where Namine was—the one person I remembered the most vividly. Aerith had been telling me that she was gone, that she had left, but I still felt as if she was going to come back any day now. She had to.

I was in love with her.

"No!" Olette insisted stubbornly as we sat at the lunch table the day after my hypnotherapy was officially completed. "You love Axel! Please try to remember!"

I blinked at her, then looked up to where he was sitting at the table across from us. He had his head buried in his hands while the rest of the table's inhabitants—who I couldn't remember either—tried to comfort him.

The blonde female with the weird bangs felt me staring and glared up at me darkly. Flinching, I turned my attention back to Olette, who was eyeing me hopefully.

"Anything?"

I shook my head. "No. I don't know who those people are."

As Olette slumped in despair, Hayner and Pence joined us at the table with their lunches. Hayner whistled happily as he took his seat next to me. The best friend seat.

After realizing that I couldn't remember Axel for the life of me, Hayner had forgiven me for rejecting him in favor of the 'poisonous, toxic, scum bag' who had 'brainwashed me' into ruining our friendship. Whatever. As long as he didn't make any moves on me, we were good in my eyes.

"So, Roxas! Enjoying yourself?" He asked me, just the picture of ease as he leaned back carelessly in his chair. "It's nice not to have any annoying redheads bogging you down, isn't it?"

Olette huffed heavily at Hayner, looking on the verge of tears, so I took her side for once and gave him a pointed look. "I'm trying so hard to remember, Hayner."

But that was a lie. I was hardly trying at all to remember what I had with Axel. Why did it matter? How could I possibly focus on him when I was in love with Namine?

Olette was glancing sadly at Axel, so I looked over at him again. Now he was standing up abruptly, looking around, until his eyes found mine. His neon green eyes squinted at me as I registered the pleading, needy look he was giving me.

But I could only stare blankly back. What was he doing?

He frowned at my expression, sighed dejectedly, and stormed out of the cafeteria with a small slate-haired kid and a guy with a Mohawk chasing after him. Shrugging, I turned back to my friends and smiled. Just because I had lost a couple of memories didn't mean we all had to act depressed!

"We should do something crazy! Like…like…let's _burn_ something!" I exclaimed, jumping up and grinning excitedly. Pence and Olette stared back at me, looking emotionally drained. My smile slowly faded. What was the matter with them? "What?"

"I feel like I've lost a friend." Pence murmured softly. My feelings felt infinitely hurt. That was a little harsh. Was I that different?

"Well, this is me now, okay?" I snapped, grabbing my backpack and storming out of the lunch room. I felt like everyone was tiptoeing around me, as if I was supremely different now. But I wasn't different—I was just the "real me", you know?

Hypnotherapy always worked, right? Right?

Still, I couldn't help this nagging question: why couldn't I remember Axel?

_Meanwhile_

If one was paying attention, and Axel Highwind wasn't saying that he was, because he was pretty much a lazy bastard when it came to everything that wasn't Roxas, one would notice that the little blonde had a pretty prominent following—romantically, that is.

Which typically would have meant that Axel would be competing for his love, considering that he had harbored feelings for this boy since he first noticed him in middle school five years ago. But, of course, ever since Roxas completed his hypnosis, their romance had been completely wiped from the boy's memory.

Besides that, for some reason, the student body _loved_ the new, manly Roxas. Everyone chalked up the change to hormones and puberty and followed him around like little puppies. The more he turned them down, the more desperate they became to get his attention.

Therefore, Axel had to watch as the new Roxas received countless numbers of invitations to dinners, movies, and other date places that the redhead could never hope to take him. Why? Because Roxas' _fucking_ hypnosis somehow altered his memories.

Specifically, any and all memories that involved one Axel Highwind.

No, he wasn't the brightest crayon in the pack. But even he knew that something was wrong with all of this. Why the hell did he have to be the one to get erased? Something just did not fucking compute.

Sure, he had done his best to get the kid to remember. But it was as if the more he talked about it, the more Roxas forgot!

Finally, he had to cut his losses before the cute little blonde forgot him completely, which would be worst case scenario. If he couldn't have him as a lover, well damn, he would have to have him as an acquaintance.

But that wasn't going to stop him from trying to solve this thing.

"Can't you look into his mind's eye or something?" Axel demanded of Zexion as they, along with Demyx, sat in the "make-out spot", a spot that they had complete control of until dusk. Zexion sighed, stretching languidly before resting his head on Demyx's lap.

"No." He said simply, closing his eyes.

Axel growled dangerously. He wasn't going to tolerate anyone getting in his way. Before he could say—or do—anything that might damage their friendship, Demyx held out a hand in front of Axel to stop him. "Wait."

"What?" Axel snapped, but he relaxed, calming the fire inside of him that threatened to flare.

"The reason he can't do it is because he's being blocked out." Demyx explained, giving Zexion a look for not saying anything about it in the first place. Axel turned to them with a confused expression.

"What do you mean?"

"What he means is," Zexion answered, finally speaking up in a quiet voice, "is that someone with even stronger abilities than mine is blocking his mind off. It's actually quite embarrassing."

Axel considered this. So if that was the case, someone _did_ mess up his mind during the hypnosis! But who? And why?

_Later_

Back at home, even interactions with my family were strange and foreign. Hearing of my therapy sessions, my parents had been staying with us temporarily _again_, saying that they wanted to do all that they could to save my soul.

It didn't really bother me too much, but Cloud and Sora seemed a bit irked at their presence during this weird time in my life. Poor Cloud, who typically rarely stayed at home—he stayed in his dorm room back at the university for the most part, since Sora and I were old enough to be self-sufficient—found he was unable to follow his normal schedule with our parents breathing down his neck, trying to determine if he was still an adequate guardian.

And Sora, my usually reliable and loyal brother, insisted that I wasn't myself, that they had made me "irreversibly fucked up". I don't even know where he heard that phrase!

"You're just so…bland! And when you're not bland, you're needlessly impulsive and angry." Sora admitted apologetically, unwilling to hurt my feelings, but trying to be honest. My feelings were a bit hurt, but…if Sora was saying those things, maybe he was right. Maybe something was wrong.

It was true that I felt like…like a part of me was missing. And I kept wanting to burn things.

Weird, I know.

"Maybe if we just found Namine…" I began hopefully, but Sora just sighed sharply, giving me an irritated look, before leaving the room without another word. What? What was everyone's problem with Namine?

She had helped me during a hard time in my life! I needed her!

I flopped back onto my bed with a sigh, clutching my cell phone to my chest. I didn't want to be alone…I wanted to talk to someone…but I had no one to call.

I never had anyone to call.

Well, fuck everyone. They could all just bite me. This was _me_. I felt as if I had been sleeping for a thousand of years and had finally been woken up. And there was no way of going back.

All of those feelings from three years back became flooding back to me. I felt angry…anxious…alone. This was why I needed Namine! She was the only one who could help me…who could stop me from feeling this way.

I fell asleep with this thought as I clutched my phone to my chest, wishing it Namine in my arms instead.

The next morning at school, I found Selphie at my locker, holding her backpack with one hand and a coffee from the local coffee shop with the other. When she noticed me staring at her blankly, she smiled and held out the coffee to me.

"Hi, Roxas! I got this for you!" She trilled, still smiling even when I didn't respond. Finally, she let out a breath and lowered her hand, catching on that I didn't want anything from her. "Look…I know you're still upset with me because of the false accusation. You know…about Axel?"

I blinked at her. "Who's that again?"

She looked taken aback for a second before realization dawned on her face. "Oh, right. I forgot. Sora told everyone you've been suffering from a little amnesia, which I'm totally sorry about, by the way."

I rolled my eyes. Sora was always cleaning up after me, making sure my reputation stayed perfectly intact, even when I didn't give two shits about it. "Yeah, okay."

"A-Anyway," Selphie continued nervously, shuffling in an anxious manner. "I thought you should know that I'm completely over Axel. Ever since you got amnesia, he's been very…I dunno…quiet. He's been so…introverted."

I stared at her. So?

"So that's why I…I…well…I think I'm in love you now. Not Axel. It's always been you, I think. No. I know. I know it's always been you." She confessed, taking a deep breath and looking me straight in the eyes, waiting for a response.

I shook my head. I wasn't in the mood to do this with her. "I'm in love with someone else."

"O-Oh! Well…that's alright, I don't mind waiting." Selphie crooned, leaning against the locker next to mine with a pining sigh. "Waiting is so romantic!"

Jeez. I rolled my eyes and shut my locker, walking to my first class. She trailed after me like a lost puppy. "Who is this mystery person that you love, anyway? Hayner? I see the way he looks at you. Or maybe Olette? She's been pretty protective of you lately! Or how about—"

"Her name is Namine." I interrupted, swirling around to face her. "And she's absolutely perfect and _nothing_ like you. So please, go back to liking Axel What's-his-name, okay?"

Selphie stopped dead in her tracks, staring confusedly at me. Finally, she murmured, "Who are you?"

I stared back at her, pausing before going inside of my class. "I don't know."

I just…wasn't sure anymore.

When I got to combat, my last class of the day, that redhead kid…um, Axel-something, was talking quietly on his cell phone in the doorway, looking miserable but determined.

"What do you mean, you can't find her? I told you, you better find that girl and bring her to me if you don't want something bad to happen to your pathetic little crush. Don't make me say his name. Fine…_Cloud_. If you don't find this girl, I'm going to burn Cloud to a crisp and make it look like an accident—"

"What do you plan to do to Cloud?" I interrupted harshly, glaring at the redheaded giant. "That's my brother, you asshole."

Axel jumped and looked at me, startled, before shaking his head and pointing to the classroom. "Better get to class before the bell rings. Mrs. Mulan will count you as tardy."

"I said," I repeated louder, stepping closer to him with a murderous glint in my eyes. "What are you going to do to Cloud?"

Axel rolled his eyes at me, moving to lean carelessly against the doorway. "I don't think that's any of your business…_Angel_."

"Don't call me that." I warned him lowly, feeling that strange pang I always did when hearing that name. And was this guy serious? He was threatening my brother, right in front of me, and thought it wasn't my business? Seriously?

"You know," Axel continued, smirking darkly at me, "You never were big on change, Roxas. So you can beat me up all you want, because _I_ know that you'll _never_ be able to cure your little anger management problem."

I growled and prepared to punch this guy's lights out, when the bell rang, blaring in my ears and reminding me of where I was. This was no place for a fight; I had at least learned that much.

"We'll settle this after school. Outside." I demanded, shoving past him and stalking into the classroom. "Better bring your A-game…_Giant_."

Axel laughed. "Giant?"

I ignored him. I wanted to get my head in the game for our fight. For once we had a book assignment in class instead of the combat-to-combat teaching we always learned, so Axel and I were spared of speaking or seeing each other until the end of the day.

Then, _finally_, class was over and it was time to settle the score.

As I burst out of the school doors, trying to determine what was a good spot—parking lot? Grassy area?—Selphie ran up to me, grabbing my shirt in her well-manicured little fingers.

I groaned. I was so sick of her! "What is it now?"

"You can't do this, Roxas! You'll hurt him!" She cried, burying her face in the back of my shirt. I rolled my eyes and continued walking, smirking when her feet began dragging in her attempts to pull me back. She was so weak.

"That's the point." I retorted, deciding that the secretive nature of the parking lot was the best place for an after-school rumble. Selphie wasn't having it, though.

"No! Listen to me…you're making a mistake! A mistake that….that's all my fault, okay?" She shouted, near tears. I stopped, swirling around to face her angrily. She flinched and let go of me.

"What are you talking about?" I bit, folding my arms and glaring at her. In my peripheral vision I could see Axel standing nearby, watching us in curiosity.

Selphie shrank back from my tone, wrapping her arms around herself and looking away. Finally, she whispered, "I'm the reason that you're like this."

I blinked rapidly, taken by surprise. Wait….what? "What do you mean?"

"I…It's my fault that you're like...that your hypnotherapy went a little sour." She admitted, before taking off running past me, propelled by fear of my reaction. I watched her run with a wave of uncertainty. I thought my sessions had been successful. That's what they told me. But then…why did I feel so weird now? Why didn't my family and friends like me anymore?

And why couldn't I remember Axel?

How did she even know about my hypnotherapy? Sora had told everyone I got amnesia!

A wave of dread overtook me. This new "me" was all that was left inside of me. If it wasn't the right personality, then…there was no going back.

Axel took a step towards me, cautiously, but I visibly flinched and stepped back. I didn't want to talk to him. I didn't want to talk to anyone anymore.

So I ran. Like a pathetic child, I took off running from the scene and the problem, hoping beyond hope that Axel wouldn't follow me.

He didn't.

_Meanwhile_

Not ten minutes after Roxas took off running from him like an antelope running from a lion, Reno drove up to the school with an unidentified male in black shades sitting in the passenger seat. Axel frowned, striding up to the car while onlookers gaped at the pure sexiness that was oozing from the driver, who was eyeing the high school boys track team appreciatively from behind the wheel.

Axel slid into the back seat, slamming the door behind him. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

Reno smirked, preparing to pull out of the parking lot, when his younger brother stopped him with a firm punch to his shoulder. "Hey!" Reno squealed in a very unmanly manner. "What was that for?"

"I have my own car. I only got in here so we could talk." Axel explained impatiently. "Pull into one of the spaces and put the car in park."

Reno muttered something that Axel couldn't hear to the man in the passenger seat as he did what Axel ordered, pulling into the parking space right next to Axel's car. Finally, when the car was parked properly and shut off, he turned around to face Axel, the little shit that was being a massive pain in the ass.

"Is there any reason you're threatening to kill my dear old friend Cloud, little brother?" Reno asked pleasantly, idly playing with a strand of hair that had blown into his face. "It's not very nice."

Axel folded his arms, lifting his head defiantly. "If you would just do what I'm paying you to do, I wouldn't have to, now would I, big brother?"

Reno sighed, running a frustrated hand through his dark red strands of hair. "I told you, she's MIA. No one has seen this girl before. Frankly, I'm not sure she even exists."

Axel pursed his lips, leaning back against the seat. "I'm pretty damn sure Roxas said her name was Namine."

"Maybe he's lying." Reno suggested with an amused smirk developing on his face. "Wouldn't be the first time."

Axel shook his head furiously as he insisted, "He wouldn't lie to me."

Reno sighed heavily in response. Sure, the kid was a good fuck, but for his brother to be acting this lovesick… "Bro, are you sure this kid is worth all this?"

Axel fell silent. There was no sentence with enough conviction to convince Reno that he was.

Finally, Reno shifted uncomfortably when the silence became too unbearably tense. "Fine. I know one more place you can check, but you're on your own."

"But whhhhhy?" Axel whined, turning into the little brat that Reno remembered so vividly. "Come with me!"

Reno laughed bitterly. "Unfortunately, bro, the person who will be helping you isn't a huge fan of mine after she found out I slept with your little boyfriend. She's so judgmental."

Axel tilted his head a little in surprise. That meant it had to be someone who knew both Reno and Roxas separately. Hmm…it sounded like it could only be one person.

"You don't mean his…"

Reno nodded helplessly. "Yep. I'm talking about his therapist, Aerith Gainsborough."

I swung open the door to my house and ran straight to my room, ignoring Cloud and his two boyfriends—Leon and Sephiroth, on my way there. Once I was safely locked inside the only haven in the entire house, I fell onto my bed face first, bursting into angry tears.

Why was I so…angry? All of the time? I hated this…I hated me!

What was happening to me? I'd never felt like this—so, so, so damn different!

In a move so smooth I swear I'd done it a thousand times, I picked up my desk chair, one of the only clean things in my room, and swung it against the wall, watching in satisfaction as it smashed into chunks of parts.

Huffing heavily, I slid to the ground, sitting with my legs tucked close to my chest as I tried to catch my breath. Something was definitely wrong with me. I just didn't know how to fix it.

* * *

Hayner frowned darkly as the same goddamn redheaded annoyance that had been his primary competition for Roxas' heart stood in front of him in his doorway, looking desperate and miserable.

"What?" He snapped harshly, giving him an unsympathetic once-over. "The fuck do you want?"

Axel sighed, composing himself, before asking quietly, "Did you fuck with Roxas' head?"

Hayner glared back at him, offended even in his confusion. "And by that, you mean…?"

The tall, admittedly sexy redhead shifted his weight, staring at his shoes intently. "Did you erase his memories of me?"

Hayner blinked, completely taken aback. He didn't even know that…someone could actually _do_ that.

"Um…" He coughed, trying to act as if he wasn't completely shocked. "No I didn't. That…that wasn't me."

Axel's shoulders slumped. "Oh. Alright, well, see you at school tomorrow."

Hayner watched wordlessly as Axel walked slowly back to his car. Maybe he should go with him, to see what he was talking about. Sure, hanging out with Axel fucking Highwind wasn't his idea of a fun Thursday night, but if it had to do with Roxas being fucked up, it was a sacrifice he was going to have to make.

The truth was, even he wasn't a fan of the old Roxas. His anger and aggression got in the way of their friendship, and he was pretty damn sure one of these days Rox was going to snap and beat him up.

"Hey, Axel!" He called, running down the porch and to the car. "Wait up."

* * *

A quick trip to Olette's house had turned into a trip to Pence's house, which turned into a trip to Zexion's and Demyx's, which turned into a trip to Riku's and Kairi's, which turned into a car full of people that were, like Axel, dying to know what the hell was wrong with Roxas Strife.

Thus began the Team of Roxas Lovers.

"No, no, no! I thought we decided on Team Akuroku!" Demyx rallied as someone murmured _'what the hell is an akuroku?_', tossing a Dorito at Riku when he rolled his eyes at him. "Don't give me that look, Riku! You haven't known me long enough to judge me!"

"I'm not judging you, man." Riku argued, but with a smirk, he turned to Sora and whispered loudly, "what a freak."

"Heard that!"

"Shouldn't we be focusing on Roxas?" Kairi asked, folding her arms with some good-natured spunk. "Sounds like we're getting off topic."

"Sounds like your _face_ is getting off topic." Hayner retorted, snorting at his own joke. Kairi gave him a disgusted look before turning around to face Sora and Riku again, while Olette punched Hayner in the back of his head when no one was looking. "Hey!"

Sora sighed as he stared off into space, unblinking. Kairi and Riku exchanged worried glances before Kairi finally murmured, "Sora? You okay?"

"I just," He began, shaking his head sadly, "can't believe my baby brother was dating _Axel_ _Highwind_, and he felt like he had to hide it from me."

"Don't take it personally." Axel sighed pitifully, finally speaking for the first time since he started driving them all to the office where Roxas received his hypnotherapy. "He felt like he needed to hide it from everyone."

"But why? I don't care that he's gay!" Sora protested, pouting. "I mean, I _kind of_ care that he's gay for _you_, _Axel Highwind_, the most sought-after guy on the islands, but I _guess_ that's not a big deal, right? Right, Riku?"

Riku, who was currently engaged in an intense thumb war with Demyx, nodded carelessly. "Yeah, sure. Of course."

Sora ignored his indifference and turned back to Axel, frowning with another heavy sigh. "How long were you two together?"

A small smile tugged at the corners of the redhead's lips. "Eh…couple of months, give or take."

Sora was speechless and Axel finally allowed himself to grin widely for the first time since Roxas' convenient little "amnesia".

Take that, amnesia.

"Oh, look. We're here!"

* * *

Aerith Gainsborough stood up in surprise as a group of teenagers piled into her office, looking tense, confused, and more than a tad pissed off at her.

She was pretty sure she knew why.

"Hello!" She offered nervously, but when no one spoke, she plopped down in her chair with a long sigh. "Okay, this is about Roxas Strife, isn't it?"

Axel strode up to her desk and sat down on it aggressively. "You're damn right it is. What the hell did you do to him?"

Aerith shook her head, covering her eyes with one hand. "I'm sorry. I didn't realize…I didn't think…this is my fault."

Axel growled and prepared to press her further, but Sora stopped him with a kind squeeze from his hand on his shoulder. "Calm down, Axel. Give her a chance to explain."

Aerith sighed heavily before gesturing to the multiple chairs around the room. "Please, take a seat."

"Tell us everything." Axel demanded, plopping down directly in front of her. He was tired of all the bullshit…he just wanted the damn truth.

"I'm not specialized in hypnotherapy so I thought it wise to bring in an expert for the procedures. I turned to my advisor, Dr. Ansem Wise, to assist me. Well, he came in, sat down, and asked Roxas a couple of questions to determine which was the dominant personality." She explained gently, looking everywhere but at Axel.

"Well?" Axel pressed, leaning forwards in the uncomfortable chair he was lounged against. "Which was it?"

Aerith toyed with a string on her dress. "Truthfully…it was the angelic portion of him."

Everyone fell silent while Axel swore like a sailor and slammed his fist against Aerith's desk. How could this be happening? "Motherfu—"

"So then how did he become so aggressive? I thought you were supposed to be _merging_ these halves! Why did you all erase his other half?" Sora demanded, looking equally as pissed as Axel. "What did you do to him?"

"He wanted us to." Aerith admitted quietly, finally meeting Axel's glare head on. After an uncomfortable silence passed once more, she murmured, "He told me all about you, Axel Highwind."

Axel flinched at her knowing, yet kind smile. What did Roxas tell her? Why was she looking at him like he was somehow responsible for all this? Sure, it wasn't exactly an accusing glance, but it was certainly a…sympathetic one.

And that was just as bad in his mind.

"He thought that you hated his angel persona, Axel. So he begged for us to remove it. He believed his feelings for you to be stronger than the ones he has for Namine no matter what personality he had." Aerith smiled, her eyes filling with tears. "He truly loved you, Axel."

Axel stared at a painting above Aerith's head, blankly registering the colors that swirled together. He was too lost in thought to be focusing on it fully.

He didn't doubt Roxas' love for him…the kid had proved it sufficiently enough; sure, the best way would've been coming out, but he accepted his issues. He knew that love confessions riddled with internal doubt were the only things Roxas knew of love.

Then…why couldn't Roxas fucking remember him?

"Selphie…have you told him?" Aerith asked the girl quietly, gaining back Axel's attention. He swirled around in his seat to glare darkly at her. If she was hiding something from him…

Selphie flinched and took a step back behind Kairi. "U-Um…uh, well…no….I-I didn't…"

Aerith sighed heavily and gave her a disapproving frown. "You know what the deal was, Selphie."

"What's going on, dammit? I mean, fuck!" Axel shouted, slamming his fist onto the desk and making Aerith jump. "Get on with it!"

"Well, what Selphie was supposed to tell you is how Roxas lost his memories of you…why he can't remember." She admitted slowly.

Axel stiffened; he felt his breath leave him so quickly that he had to gasp to get it back. "W-wha…? S-So you all did something to him?"

Aerith gave him a pitying glance before directing her attention back to Selphie. She wanted to watch the girl carefully as she told the truth so she could stop her if she tried to run. "Here's the truth…after Roxas' procedures, he was correct. He was still in love with you, albeit he was more aggressive and possessive about it. But his feelings for you beat out his feelings for Namine."

"Okay…so…?"

Aerith took a deep breath. "Selphie found our operating room and convinced Dr. Ansem to eradicate all memories of you from his head during the procedure. She said that she loved you too much to watch you be with another; Dr. Ansem fell for it. I tried to persuade him otherwise, but he was determined to help her."

The door slammed behind them, and upon further inspection, Selphie had fled from the room. Axel sighed. There was no use getting angry; it wasn't her fault that he was so irresistible. "How did they erase his memories?"

Aerith reached into her desk and pulled out a thick file. Leaning over, Axel let his nosy green eyes wander over it until he caught sight of one name that made his heart drop dead in his chest. Namine.

Damn her…why was this girl so involved in Roxas' life?

"Let me guess…Namine has the ability to erase people as well as memories. Well…isn't that just fucking convenient!" Axel swore, standing up and striding over to the door. "She is officially on my hit list."

Everyone tackled him at the same time, causing him to fall with a painful thump to the ground. Double damn it…

"Get off of me!" He hollered, growling as Demyx bit him unhelpfully. "I'm going to kill her!"

"Axel, wait!" Aerith fretted, coming from around the table and kneeling to where he was sprawled on the ground, unable to move under the weight of Sora, Riku, and the rest of the group.

"What?"

"All is not lost! Namine has the power to undo the spell!" She confided, placing a comforting hand on his head. "She is not as horrible as you picture her. She is a very fragile, vulnerable girl with a distressing amount of power. She only wished to help Roxas…she believed you to be forcing him into a relationship."

Forcing him? That kid practically begged for everything he did to him! "That's a lie."

Aerith pursed her lips and clasped her hands together. "I suspected just as much. That's why I have been waiting for you to come to me so I could tell you of her whereabouts. All you must do is convince her to undo the spell, and Roxas will remember you again."

"Hey, wait a minute! What about his personality, huh? When will we get the real Roxas back?" Hayner protested, pushing down Axel in his attempts to stand up again. "Who cares about his damn memory? I want my best friend back!"

Aerith shrugged optimistically. "He may restore it himself. It is too soon to tell whether Namine will be able to restore his memory. I would prepare yourselves for the worst, but hope for the best."

* * *

Axel was more than a little pissed. And that was kind of a problem for everyone else who was quietly sitting in the car with him. For one thing, no one wanted to be the one that took the brunt of Axel's wrath. And that wasn't even factoring in that he didn't even like most of them.

Silently, Axel dropped off each of his passengers, angrily slamming doors as he went. When only Selphie remained in the car, he pulled over on the side of the road and parked, ignoring the speeding cars around them.

"Um…" Selphie stuttered, sliding away from him a little bit in the car. "Please don't kill me…I'm sorry. I told Namine to formulate the spell so that every time he thought about you, he forgot about you more and more."

"This isn't your fault, Selphie." Axel confessed slowly, turning to face her. "It's mine."

Selphie frowned. Clearly he was trying to pull something. "Axel, you don't have to rub it in."

"I'm not." He insisted, and it was true. "I'm being completely serious. This is all my fault. There's a reason besides you that Roxas can't…won't…remember me."

The bouncy brunette stared at him in curiosity. When he didn't speak any further, she prompted him. "Go on."

Axel focused on the cars traveling next to them, each passing by at a speed over the limit. Figures. No one knew how to drive safely these days. "I never told him I loved him."

Selphie gaped at him in confusion and shock. Surely that couldn't be right! "But I heard—"

"Sure, I told him that I loved him while we were together. But I never fully explained who or what about him it was that I loved. And frankly, I should have. I'm sure he had his doubts about which side of him I was head over heels for." Axel sighed, shaking his head in regret. "I realized it back at Aerith's. He must have thought I loved the old Roxas, the one that first grabbed my attention."

"So I take it that isn't true?"

"Not entirely." Axel answered. At Selphie's grimace, he tried to explain further. "I was infatuated with Roxas five years ago, the first time I saw him, because he was everything I wasn't. He knew how to speak his mind, how to stand up for his friends and himself, and just seemed to have school locked down. I liked that. I admired that. So, naturally, I harbored a crush on him."

"Then, before I could confess, he left town. I pined over him appropriately until he returned. But once he came back, I could see he was completely different. Sugary. Fake. Nothing like the guy I was in love with. So I didn't make my move. Instead I dated other people, letting two years pass, before I decided that I had had enough." He concluded, looking at Selphie again. "That's when I started going after him, trying to get him to be himself again."

Selphie blinked a bit before shrugging, "Um…I don't see a problem with that."

Axel shook his head with a wistful smile. "Don't you see? By that point, he had already become a different person. I was wrong, Selphie. The Roxas we knew wasn't two personalities. Not anymore. Through helping others with their problems, caring for his brothers, and…well, inevitably falling for me…he had already merged his personalities. This _was_ him, Selphie. I just…refused to see it."

Selphie mulled it over for a moment. "But what about the way he was always protecting his reputation and acting all perfect when he saw the sunlight?"

"That was just fear. He wasn't ready to debut his new self or give up Namine. Roxas may have lost his anger, but his stubbornness and occasional bitchiness is just a part of who he is, and nothing will ever change that. But so is his shyness, his sweetness, and his big, big heart. I don't know why I couldn't see that." Axel groaned, covering his eyes. "I'm the one person who needed to accept him, but I didn't."

Selphie placed a comforting hand on Axel's arm, caressing it slightly that would have been a wee bit awkward had Axel not been in such a state of dismay. "Axel, you didn't see it because he wasn't ready for you to see it. He may have shown you glimpses, but I'm sure he didn't—"

"You're wrong." Axel interjected, holding up a hand to stop her. "He did show me. The last month with him before the treatment really took effect was the real Roxas. He loved me enough to show me, and I fell in love with him, the true him, all over again. But I never told him that. I never admitted that I was wrong about him all along. I just…let this happen."

_Then_

_I frowned as Axel gaped in surprise at what I had done for him. He could be a little more appreciative, damn it._

"_What, you don't like it?" I asked grumpily, but I couldn't keep the little waver of anxiousness from my voice. I had spent a lot of time on this, and if Axel didn't like it…well. The disappointment would be unbearable. _

_When Axel remained speechless, I decided to cut my losses and undo everything I had done. Laughing forcedly, I strode over to my "mess" and started tossing it into the trash can, hoping I could just erase all of this._

_Axel immediately came back to life. "Whoa, whoa! What the hell are you doing, Angel?"_

_I froze, turning to stare at him in surprise. "I'm…I mean, clearly you don't like it, so I'm getting rid of it."_

_Axel shook his head as he walked over to me, looking sheepish. "I didn't know what to say; no one has ever cooked me a candlelit dinner before."_

_I gave him a doubtful look. "Really? You? You mean to tell me that you have never been to a romantic dinner?"_

_Axel cupped my cheek tenderly. He admitted softly, "No one has ever cared enough to do this for me."_

_I blinked back at him, completely taken aback. I guess I had it in my mind that he was some kind of womanizer, but in actuality, he had never been in love with anyone else either._

_I was kind of happy to hear that, actually._

"_Um…" I stammered, rendered practically speechless at the pure adoration shining in his gorgeous green irises. "I…I, uh…Happy Valentine's Day, Axel."_

_Axel brought his lips down to mine, caressing them with his own in a teasing way that made me ache, whispering, before fully kissing me like I had never been kissed before, "Happy Valentine's Day, Roxas."_

Selphie fell silent. There was nothing she could say to make him release his guilt. After thinking about all he had said, there was one last thing she needed to clear up. "So, to sum it all up, what you're saying is that, during the hypnotherapy, because you never told Roxas what part of him you were in love with, he thought you loved the old him. So he told Ansem that it was the Angel persona that was not the dominant side, and that he needed to hypnotize him to believe that part never existed."

Axel nodded glumly. There was no getting around it.

Selphie nodded in response and continued. "Then, when I told Namine, Aerith's consultant during the hypnosis, to erase you from his memory every time he thought about you, I was only making it worse, because he worried so much about you liking the 'new him' that he thought about you nonstop, therefore making you disappear from his mind."

Axel groaned again and decided that now would be a good time to repeatedly slam his head against the steering wheel. What the hell was he supposed to do now? Where did he go from here? He'd fucked up before, sure, but nothing this life altering! The fucking love of his life was gone and he didn't know what to do about it.

"Then…now what? Are you going to go find Namine?" Selphie asked quietly, toying with her bouncy brown curls nervously, just in case Axel decided to change his mind and kill her ruthlessly while she wasn't looking.

Axel nodded with a frown. "Yeah, though it's going to be hard not to scream at her the whole time."

Selphie gasped as she imagined tiny, sweet Namine cowering in a corner while tall, intimidating Axel shouted obscenities at her. No…she couldn't let that happen.

"Then I'm going with you!" She announced, sitting up straighter in her seat. At Axel's murderous glare, she squeaked, "It'll be good to have me, the person who convinced her that you were a monster, be the one to fix her impression of you."

Axel opened his mouth to retort, but nothing came out. Damn…girl had a point.

"Fine! You can come with me. But no more lies, okay?"

"Promise!"

* * *

Axel parked the car into the driveway of the biggest ass mansion he had ever seen. Jeez—who the hell needed a house that big?

"Even her house pisses me off." He mumbled as he got out the car, shooting Selphie an annoyed look. "She just _had_ to be rich!"

Namine's mansion was located three hours away from Destiny Islands in what was known as Fated Peak, the richest town this side of the hemisphere. Axel himself had never even seen the neighborhood; no one he knew had.

Selphie sighed and shook her head at Axel as she led the way up the rest of the driveway. "She's had a difficult life, okay? Give her a break!"

"Oh I'll give her something alright—" Axel muttered darkly as Selphie rung the doorbell, earning himself a firm elbow in the ribs. "Ow! So abusive!"

"Shh!"

An elderly man slowly opened the door, frowning immediately at the sight of them. When neither parties said anything, the man wheezed, "I'm very sorry, but that is all for today. The quota has been filled."

The man began to close the door but Axel thrust his leg out to stop the door from closing. He grimaced at the man's terrified expression. "Sorry, I'm not trying to scare you. What quota are you talking about?"

The man's eyes moved from Axel to Selphie and back again. He looked puzzled. "Namine's healing prowess. Are you not here to be healed? Maybe…maybe you are here to increase your fertility?"

Eh? Axel leapt back in horror. Him…trying to impregnate somebody? Gah!

"We're not here for that. We're actually here to talk to Namine about some…um, personal business." Selphie explained when Axel remained frozen in horrified shock. When the man didn't budge, she added, "It's about a friend of ours…Roxas Strife?"

Recognition lit up the elderly man's face and he finally opened the door wide enough for them to enter. "Roxas Strife! Yes, yes, please come in!"

That woke Axel up a bit. As they followed him inside, he asked, "Do you know him personally?"

The elderly man shook his head kindly, politely leading them up a large set of carpeted stairs. "No, I have never met him personally but Namine speaks of him very often. She says that he was her only friend during her sickness."

"Sickness?" Selphie asked, looking worried. Axel stared at her curiously. She was awfully invested in Namine.

"Yes. When Namine uses too much of her powers, she becomes terribly, terribly ill. In fact, she has been weak ever since seeing Roxas Strife again." He answered thoughtfully, coming to a stop in front of a white door at the end of the second floor hallway. "I hope it is not emotional trauma. Anyway, here is her room. Excuse me."

Axel watched the man's retreating back as he vanished down the hall. Emotional trauma…? From helping Roxas erase him? But that didn't make any sense…

Selphie, without knocking, threw open the door, much to Axel's chagrin, with a wide smile. "Namine! I'm back!"

Axel felt overwhelmed as he felt himself become practically blinded by all of the white in the room. Unable to stop himself, he blurted out, "Why is your room so goddamn white? You're designing skills are just as bad as Roxas'!"

Selphie gasped and whirled around, practically snarling at him. "Axel! Don't be so rude!"

A quiet laugh came from the window, and Axel's eyes finally adjusted enough for him to see the figure that it came from. A small, fragile-looking blonde girl stood, turning to smile at them. She wore a simple white dress that hung off of her thin frame and kept her hair pulled to one side as it too hung limply from her face.

"Hello again, Selphie...and guest. Axel, I presume?" She greeted weakly, wobbling over to a long table in the center of the large room. "I trust your trip was safe? It's three hours from Destiny Islands, right?"

"Namine…" Selphie trailed off, watching as the girl strained to pick up an assorted colored pencil out of the many that were sprawled over the table. "You look awful."

"Now who's being rude?" Axel hissed in her ear before striding over Namine purposely. He stopped just next to her but placed a sturdy hand on her shoulder to prevent her escape.

"You need to fix Roxas. Now."

Namine stared up at him meekly, her large blue eyes wide with surprise. "You are just as aggressive as Selphie said you are."

Selphie shifted uncomfortably under the sharp glare she received from Axel. "Yeah, Nami, about that…I may have embellished a wee bit."

The glare darkened and Selphie flinched. "Fine, a lot! I embellished a whole lot! I lied to you because I wanted Roxas to forget about Axel so I could lay claim to him. But I was wrong for doing that. I know that now."

Namine gave Selphie a pitying smile. "It's alright."

Axel huffed loudly in outrage. What the hell? Of course it wasn't! "No, it's not alright! He's completely forgotten about me…about us! I want him back! So undo whatever juju powers you used on him!"

Namine tilted her head at Axel with a puzzled half-smile. "I'm sorry, but I can't do that, even if what Selphie says is true. Besides…why isn't Roxas here himself if you are speaking the truth?"

"He's fucking in love with _you_, so he's at home pining." Axel spat, his words dripping with hatred. He turned away from her to look out the window, trying to regain his self-control. It would do no good to hurt this girl. None at all.

Namine watched Axel thoughtfully, unconsciously moving her pencil along her sketchpad as she did so. To herself, she murmured, "His thoughts were tainted with doubts about you."

Miraculously Axel heard her. But oh, how he wished he hadn't. Whipping around, he growled, "I know they were. I know that a big part of this is my fault, okay?"

Namine furrowed her brow, dropping her pencil in question. "Then…why?"

Axel stared at her blankly. Did she even have to ask? He answered simply, "Because I love him."

Namine swallowed and gazed down at the sketch that she had drawn without looking. Axel peered down as well. It was a drawing of him and Roxas, holding hands, looking more in love than he had ever seen them. His eyes watered despite himself…god, he missed Roxas.

"Even if," She began slowly, "I undo the spell, that other side of himself will not come out willingly."

Axel sat down across from Namine. "Why not?"

"Due to his insecurities, he has locked away that angelic part of him completely. He will have to be the one to restore himself to what once was." She explained, tilting her head at him when his face fell. "Does that scare you?"

Axel scratched the back of his head. Frankly…hell yes. But he didn't want her to know that he doubted himself. Any scrap of doubt from him in her eyes might ruin any chance he had at getting Rox back. "No."

Namine gave him a determined look before standing up and walking over to a strange pod in the back of the room. "Then let's fix this. I believe in miracles…when my sister asked me to erase all memories her so I wouldn't suffer…they came back! If that can happen…anything is possible."

* * *

"Axel…I think there's only one solution!" Selphie exclaimed determinedly, her curls jumping up and down as she nodded her head resolutely. Axel gave her an exhausted once-over. Jeez, where did she keep all that energy? They were driving back home, slightly dejected, after Namine's attempt kinda…failed.

Apparently, all she could do was _lift_ the memory ban. He still had to remember him on his own. Fuck. Besides that, even if he did remember him, the part of him that Axel loved was forever locked away in Roxas' recesses unless he up and decided to go back to it. Like that was going to happen.

"Hate to break it to you, but there is no solution, sister. Namine said she can't reverse the process because it's Roxas who has locked that side of himself in the recesses of his mind."

Selphie clicked her tongue, reprimanding him. "Now, now, is that anyway to think? No! Listen, I realized something while Namine was talking about how the process worked. She said that her sister, Xion, had asked her to erase Namine's memories of her so she wouldn't have to suffer. And Namine didn't want to deny her last request, so she did it. But their bond was so strong, even in death, that slowly all of her memories of Xion came back!"

Axel gave Selphie a skeptical look. "That's different; they were sisters. Besides, Namine didn't lock those memories away, she just altered them. Roxas fucked up the process, so he's a different case."

"You're missing the point!" Selphie cried, tugging on his shirt in her excitement and shaking him a little bit. "Axel Highwind, there's still hope for the two of you! All you have to do is make the new Roxas fall in love with you!"

Axel looked at her as if she was crazy for a moment before bursting out in laughter. She couldn't be serious! Selphie's smile slowly faded as she watched him laugh so hard that it was a bit offensive. Finally, looking testy, she snapped, "Well, don't have a cow without me! What's so funny?"

Axel wiped his eyes on his sleeve, still chuckling a little. "_This_ Roxas can't stand me. He never did. Why do you think I kept my crush on him a secret back in middle school? The kid thinks I'm not even worth his full attention!"

Selphie shook her head silently for a moment before facing forward again. As Axel snorted, preparing to start the car and pull out, she whispered one final question.

"Do you want your guardian angel back?"

For the first time in a long time, Axel felt a prickling at the back of his eyes. A lump of emotion welled up into him, and he had a feeling that if he didn't get Selphie home quick, he was going to start bawling in front of her.

That would be very, very bad.

He was Axel fucking Highwind.

So, starting the car with a ferocity that caused the engine to roar dangerously, Axel smirked in a way that was completely and utterly…himself.

Answering Selphie's question, Axel shouted out five words before speeding into traffic, causing the brunette to shriek in amazed trepidation.

"Hell to the fucking yeah!"

* * *

Hayner huffed in annoyance as Axel _freaking_ Highwind stood in his doorway, again, for the second time that day, this time wearing an expression similar to a penguin who was determined to fly.

"What, goddamn it?" He snapped, ignoring a pang of pity he had for him.

Axel smirked, looking more like himself than he had in a long time. "I need your help. I'm going to win Roxas Strife back and I need you to help me get Namine out of the picture."

Hayner snorted in disbelief. "Roxas is the one who almost killed someone, not me. I'm not in the murdering business, sorry."

The redhead actually had the nerve to laugh as Hayner seethed impatiently. Finally, he stopped laughing and remarked, "Your love for Roxas is pretty strong, Hayner, and I have to respect that because who the hell wouldn't love him? But I love him more. So you have to respect me, too."

Hayner blew out a breath, rolling his eyes. "Don't you think I know that, dumbass? Why else do you think I haven't made a move on him?"

Axel gave Hayner a genuine smile that told him he knew exactly why he hadn't. "I understand. But…will you help me?"

Hayner sighed heavily. Fine. The truth was…he didn't want this version of Roxas. If he was going to eventually steal him from Axel, he had to steal the right one.

"Okay. What should I do?"

* * *

"She moved _where_?" I shouted, ignoring the startled looks I was receiving from everyone around me. It was mid-March and the weather had finally begun to get nice out, but my attitude had yet to change. Truthfully, I was totally okay with that. What was the point in pretending?

But my friends seemed to be losing patience with me, and in the back of my mind I was starting to worry that they would leave if I didn't get nicer. So, pretending to be embarrassed, I lowered my voice and repeated, "She moved where, Hayner?"

Hayner sniffed dramatically and looked away from me, as if the sight of my face brought him great pain. "Namine moved to Zanarkand. I'm so sorry, Roxas. I know how much you loved her."

I frowned. Zanarkand was light years away. You couldn't even get there without a gummi ship, which was expensive as hell. Even getting a license to drive those things was ridiculously difficult; Sora had been trying for years to pass that driving test to no prevail.

"But I want to see her!" I whined, half-heartedly slamming my locker door shut. I began to walk down the hallway, not even bothering to check and see if Hayner was following me. I knew he was. "Now what do I do?"

"Maybe you should focus on that big assignment you have due by the end of the month?" Hayner suggested automatically, as if this conversation had been rehearsed. I glanced at him oddly. He was being really weird today.

"Eh, I guess it couldn't hurt to actually do some work one of these days. What assignment are you talking about, again?" I asked him, scratching the back of my head sheepishly. I guess my memory wasn't as strong as it used to be.

Hayner shrugged nonchalantly. "Oh, you know. The one with Axel Highwind."

My heart rammed painfully against my chest at his name. Lately, my body had been acting up; whenever Axel was mentioned, rather than forgetting him, I experienced feelings of longing or remorse. It was creeping me out!

"I'd rather not." I said flatly, picking up my speed so that Hayner actually had to jog to keep up with me. "I'm doing well in that class, I'll take the zero."

"I never said what class it was, dummy! Are you avoiding him?" Hayner demanded, grabbing my arm and pulling me so I would stop speed walking. "Tell me."

I sighed and faced Hayner, though my whole being was screaming at me to push him away from grabbing me like that. I didn't like being touched. "Fine. I'm avoiding the guy. So what?"

"He didn't do anything wrong, Roxas." Hayner scolded in a voice that reminded me of my mother. I rolled my eyes. What was this, fifth grade? I didn't need his approval.

"I don't care…I just don't like the guy, okay?" I snapped, twisting out of his grasp and striding down the hall. Stopping, I turned around and called to him, "Stop bringing him up!"

Besides…I didn't have time to think about Axel Highwind. I needed to come up with ways of getting to Zanarkand so I could be with Namine. That tall…kind of good-looking—okay, really good-looking—redhead would just be a distraction…

And then, like I had unconsciously summoned him, there he was. Walking…no, sauntering…down the hall like he owned the place. I felt an unfamiliar heat rise up my body as I froze, my eyes glued to his lean frame and attention-grabbing red hair.

_Angel…I want you._

What?

_I want you._

"Wh…What?" I stammered as I realized that someone was actually speaking to me. A glance upwards confirmed my fears. It was Axel, staring at me expectantly, having asked me something completely different from what I imagined he said.

"We need to plan a meeting time to work on the assignment." Axel repeated slowly, as if I was an idiot. I felt a defensive anger flare in me and once again I felt dislike for him, as it should be.

"I heard you the first time, _Giant_." I retorted, lying easily. He smirked at my come-back but said nothing, only waiting for my answer. I thought carefully…if we went to my house, we would end up in my bedroom, which might freak him out just enough that he would run away.

"How about my place, in my room, Wednesday night?" I suggested with a tinge of mischievousness coloring my tone. But to my surprise, he only chuckled knowingly before pointing out something that I had apparently forgotten.

"I've been in your room, Roxas, remember? So if you're trying to scare me off, it's not going to work. Plus, since we've actually hooked up on your bed before, I'm not sure how much work you'll be able to get done. I've got it; we'll meet up at the clock tower tonight at 5 after school. See you there." And with that, Axel had planned our meeting place and walked off without me being able to say a single thing in protest.

"Looks like your avoiding technique is going well." Hayner snorted sarcastically in my ear, making me jump. I whirled around to face him, pushing him away with both hands in embarrassment. "Shut up! I told you to stop bringing him up!"

Hayner shrugged indifferently and I suddenly felt very exhausted. Using violence to get what I wanted was tiring and it didn't even seem to be working anymore. But who would I be without my anger? Without my defenses?

I would be nothing.

* * *

I thought about my conversation with Axel for the entire school day but I still hadn't come any closer to why I couldn't seem to intimidate him. My anger and stubbornness had kept away many admirers as well as others who just wanted to be friends, but Axel seemed to be completely unaffected by my tenacity.

In the past, even Namine had occasionally shied away from me when I became too dark in my stories and conversations. And she was supposed to be my soul mate.

Why was Axel so different?

This fretting was enough to actually make me nervous about meeting with him. Which was ridiculous, because yesterday I couldn't even remember the guy's last name.

Now I couldn't get my mind off of him.

Why were we meeting at the clock tower anyway? That was my first thought as I stopped in front of it since Axel was nowhere in sight. My second thought was more of a worry—would he stand me up? And my third thought was actually a realization—I was fifteen minutes early.

What was I _doing_? I was acting like a teenager on a date.

My heart leapt. Maybe this _was_ a date!

I forcefully slapped myself…just as Axel rounded the corner. Blood rushed to my face as his green eyes stared at me blankly, looking as if he was seriously judging me in his mind. I growled, trying to hide my blush with aggression.

"Y-You're fucking late." I snapped, folding my arms condescendingly. Axel titled his head and gave me a very odd look, raising his wrist to point at his watch.

"I'm fifteen minutes early. So are you. Don't have a goddamn cow, kid." He snorted arrogantly. I frowned, silently following Axel into the stairway that led to the top of the tower. Breaking the silence, Axel added, "You're not scared of heights, are you?"

"Shut up! I dated you, didn't I, _Giant_?" I retorted sharply. Once the sentence registered, both of us froze on the stairs. Wait…I remembered that?

I know Olette told me we dated but…that sentence came from me. It was…from my memories.

_Then_

"_So," Axel began seductively in the middle of us hooking up in the stacks, "you know Prom is coming up, right?"_

_I pulled my body away from his—unfortunately noticing the lack of heat immediately—and stared at him in horror. So soon? I thought I had more time!_

"_Prom, huh?" I murmured distantly, my mind lost in flashbacks. Axel waited patiently for me to snap out of it before asking, "You've been there before?" _

_I blushed, thinking back to my disastrous first prom experience. "Y-Yeah…with Reno."_

_Axel groaned, covering his face with the same hand that had just been touching my…well, you know. "Of course you did. Fucking Reno…"_

"_If it's any consolation…it was awful." I said, trying to be helpful. "Reno got drunk before going and eventually ended up puking on my shoes."_

_Axel leaned down and nuzzled my neck with his face, making me blush again. "I promise I won't do that. I'll be a perfect gentleman when we go."_

_I pushed him away, suddenly annoyed. "What, you've already decided we're going together? You didn't even ask me!"_

"_I didn't think I needed to when we're doing this everyday!" Axel fired back, emphasizing the 'this' by running a hand along my ribcage. Tingles went racing through me, but I ignored them._

"_Well you shouldn't expect that! You still have to ask! Maybe I want to go with some other senior!" I snapped, but even as I said it I realized it wasn't true. Axel's entire aura changed from that one sentence, turning the atmosphere from romantic to tense._

"_Oh. Is that so?" Axel challenged while his expression grew dark. "You would rather take Reno, right?"_

"_No! Gross, of course not!"_

"_I bet you still think about him fucking you! That's why you still won't fuck me, isn't it?" Axel shouted, slamming a fist against the bookcase directly behind me. Thank goodness it didn't fall over. I jumped, feeling my own anger flare up inside of me._

"_You're being a dick! I never said I wanted to take Reno, you asshole, I would much rather go with you! I just wanted you to ask romantically, you dumbass!" I screamed back at him, grabbing the first book I saw and throwing it at him. It hit him square in the face, and satisfied, I stormed away from him._

_Axel blinked for a second, taken aback, before letting out a breath in self-loathing and running after me. "Angel, wait!"_

_I whirled around to face him again, realizing that I still wasn't finished. "Oh! And as for fucking, maybe the reason I haven't given in to you yet is because I'm scared! Ever think about that?"_

_Axel listened to me humbly as I continued my tirade, only speaking again when I stopped yelling enough to gain my breath back. "Are you finished?"_

_I glared up at him through my panting. "Yes."_

"_Good." Axel murmured quietly. He pulled me into his embrace, wrapping his long arms around me so I felt enveloped in warmth. It only took a second before I lost control and melted into him, hating myself for being so freaking easy._

"_I'm sorry." He whispered into my hair, placing chaste kisses to my head. "I let my jealousy get the best of me again."_

"_Axel…" I sighed, wrapping my arms around his waist (it was all I could reach). "I'm dating you for a reason. I..like you. A lot."_

_Axel snorted tenderly. "You 'like' me? Is that all?" _

"_Well…maybe I might actually…"_

"Oh my goodness…we did date, didn't we?" I gasped aloud, staring with wide eyes up at Axel. He turned away from my shocked gaze and slowly began climbing up the stairs again.

"Come on, Roxas. Let's go."

I heard him give the command, but I wasn't really registering it. Suddenly desperate for air, I raced past him up the stairs, almost shoving him down in my panic.

Everything Olette said was true. Everything Axel said was true. Everything Hayner said was half-true (his biasness couldn't be helped).

I was supposed to be in love with Axel Highwind. But instead my mind was filled with Namine.

Finally reaching the top floor, I swung open the door, taking a deep breath as chilly air whipped around me and tickled my cheeks.

I carefully walked to the edge of the tower and sat down, wrapping my arms around my legs. Everything was so messed up!

The door suddenly opened then closed behind me, and, to my shock, I didn't flinch like I thought I would. Axel cautiously sat beside, also silent.

Finally, he murmured, "I loved you. So much."

I looked at him pitifully. "I wish I could be in love with you, Axel."

"But you love Namine." Axel spoke softly. "And I've…come to terms with it."

"She moved to Zanarkand!" I wailed, unable to hold in my despair any longer. "She's…so…far…away!"

Axel chuckled a bit before clearing his throat and pretending to cough at my glare. "You're completely right. She's really, really, really far away. Maybe you should move on."

I stood up quickly, almost falling in my attempts to get away from him. Axel actually had to reach out and grab the back of my shirt to keep me from falling off the side of the clock tower.

"Watch it!"

"How could you say that? '_Move on'_? You dick! I actually almost felt—ugh, forget it! I'm leaving!" I shouted angrily, striding towards the door. "And don't you dare follow!"

Axel chuckled fondly, giving me a cheeky grin. "Trust me, I won't. But my eyes certainly will be."

True to form, his eyes were glued inappropriately to my ass.

I reddened indignantly before huffing and running into the staircase. I couldn't stand him!

* * *

Working on my assignment—which turned out to be an incredibly complex project that involved planning an imaginary business proposal for a major corporation (though the write-up seemed like something Hayner would write)—took a little more than four weeks to complete.

Four weeks of flirty, amusing, stimulating…hell.

During the first week, after the clock tower incident, Axel made up for it by buying me some incredibly expensive sea salt popsicles that we enjoyed while watching the sunset. _While watching the sunset…_it belonged in a damn romance novel!

During the second week, I got in a fight with a freshman who dared to feel me up while I was trying to pee (why did that keep happening?), in which Axel broke our fight up before I could get caught by the principle. Then, in a show of understanding, he convinced Mrs. Mulan to let us spar in the Combat room after school so I could blow off some steam. It was actually…really thoughtful.

During the third week, Axel, who was apparently earning his fan club back now that his spirits were higher, defended me against an indignant junior, who didn't think it was fair that we were hanging out again so soon after my amnesia…especially when he could be hanging out with her. I have to admit…it felt nice to have someone on my side for once.

During the fourth week of hell, the week that our assignment was due, I couldn't hide my feelings anymore.

Fucking damn it all, I had a stupid, pathetic, irritating crush on Axel Highwind.

It was idiotic! Four weeks ago, I wanted nothing to do with him! I found him disgusting, annoying, and a waste of my time. But now that I was remembering little tidbits about him…and now that he was showing me that I was completely wrong about him…I couldn't stop my heart from pounding whenever I saw him.

The worst part was that four weeks ago, I insisted that I could never have dated him or loved him…but now I could understand what "old Roxas" saw in him.

"_I wish I could be in love with you, Axel."_

There was no more wishing necessary.

I _was_ in love with Axel, plain and simple.

Olette squealed loudly, clapping her hands so obnoxiously that I was afraid Sora or Cloud would know what we were talking about. We were sitting in my kitchen, sipping apple juice, as I confessed to her everything that I had been thinking.

I figured that if there was anyone who could understand what I was feeling, it was her—Olette had known each and every side of me, so she knew me the best out of anyone…well, except Hayner. But even he had been distant lately…sometimes I even caught him hanging out with Axel of all people, even though he swore that he hated him.

"This is great, Roxas! When are you going to tell him?" She demanded eagerly, scooting closer to me in her chair. I flinched ever so slightly at her proximity before shaking it off and shrugging ominously.

"Oh, I don't know…maybe…never." I trailed off, looking away with a light blush on my face. She slammed down her apple juice in frustrated shock.

"Roxas Strife, that man has loved you since the beginning of time!" She exclaimed, shaking me with blatant disregard to my aversion to human contact.

I scoffed softly. "Does time really have a beginning?"

Of course, my avoidance tactic was immediately thwarted as she ignored my statement. "What are you afraid of?"

I toyed with the string hanging from my hoodie. The truth was…"He probably still loves the "old me", so what hope is there?"

Olette stared at me sympathetically before gently saying, "Roxas, your identity has been something you've struggled with your whole life. All I'm thinking now is…if you don't love yourself, how can you ask anyone else to?"

"That's why I'm not telling him, dummy!" I quipped, taking a long gulp of apple juice to avoid any more conversation on the matter. She sighed heavily, pinching the bridge of her nose like she was getting very frustrated with me.

That was always a warning sign to watch out.

"Besides," I added with a nonchalant smirk, "I still love Namine more, so…there's that."

Olette hid a smile in her hand, giving me a serious face that seemed a wee bit on the mocking side…but maybe I was seeing things. "Roxas…Namine is in Zanarkand."

I frowned at her, scratching at a scab on my arm to give me something to do. "I know, jeez."

"Then move on and get under someone new! Preferably Axel Highwind!" Olette squealed, hopping away with a giggle at my half-hearted smack on her arm.

She was so silly.

But maybe…maybe she was right.

Maybe it was time to give this Axel thing a chance.

* * *

_Meanwhile, in a place not so far away…_

"Did you ever love him, Miss Namine?" Namine's kind, curious butler asked her as he fluffed the pillows behind her. She opened her mouth to answer, but was only able to cough forcefully into her hands. When she pulled away, blood remained on her palms.

"Namine!" He exclaimed, reaching for the telephone on her dresser to call the hospital. But she shook her head weakly at him with a reassuring smile.

"Don't worry…I don't need it. Once Roxas breaks the spell he's under, my life force will come back to me." She informed him with a quiver in her voice. "He'll do it. I just know it."

The elderly man gasped, clutching his heart to avoid some kind of heart attack. "Namine, you didn't…you used your life force to place that spell on him."

Namine clasped her hands together apologetically. "Not exactly…you see, Roxas' current problems are all one spell: Roxas will become one self—his true self—if he is united with his true love; Axel must fall in love and recognize this true self for the spell to be broken. Love spells are powerful…so to bind it and make it so, I used my life force."

"Miss Namine…"

Namine smiled. "Don't worry so much! Once the spell is broken, my life force will flow back to me. Don't you remember? Xion bounded Roxas and I because she didn't want me to end up alone…but because I couldn't reciprocate his feelings, she…she died."

Both of them frowned at the unspoken truth. The same fate would come to Namine if Axel and Roxas did not fall in love.

"But I believe in them!" Namine pressed at her butler's skeptical look. "Love will prevail."

At least…she hoped so.

* * *

**Dah end. **

**Just kidding, there's one more chapter! Go on...it's right over there! Go read it! Go! **


	5. Shake It Out

**So. We've finally reached the ending to Angels Never Lie. It's crazy how in-depth this story got, huh? What started out as a simple, bad boy meets angelic boy fanfic turned into a bad boy loves boy with personality problems story. That's so classic me. Pssh, I hope you all stayed with me this whole time...no one got thrown off the coaster, right? Anyway, this baby is finally done and I can feel nothing but happiness for this fic. This was probably the hardest fanfic I've written thus far. **

**All of you reading and reviewing...I may not know you...I may not kiss or touch or hold you...but I love you. Thank you for your support. :)**

**Without further adieu...the conclusion. **

* * *

"If I had to give them names…okay, how about this? There's Angel Roxas, Angry Roxas, Emo Roxas, and Roxas now. Emo Roxas is an extension of depressed Angel Roxas, but it can also be from confused Angry Roxas. And none of the versions are confident in themselves…specifically, none of them are confident enough to date me in public because of Namine. There." Axel explained securely, smirking when all of his friends gave him blank looks. He shrugged nonchalantly. It wasn't like it was that big of a deal anymore.

Axel Highwind had first met Roxas Strife in middle school, where he fell head over heels for him. He hid his feelings out of fear (reasonably so—Roxas hated him back then) and, once he went to high school, didn't hear from him again.

Then, out of the blue, Roxas transferred to his high school, suddenly all sugary, sweet, and angelic. That's when Axel decided he was going to try to get him to be himself again. In the process, however, he ended up falling for the little blonde _again_ without realizing it.

That was when Roxas underwent hypnotherapy, once more changing his character. Roxas' angelic personality was gone, replaced with the one that Axel had encountered back in middle school—aggressive and angry all of the time. Not to mention, he had completely forgotten him!

Thanks to Namine, Roxas' first love, the blonde was able to remember him again, but now Axel wasn't sure how to break the spell he was still under—his angelic self was locked in his self-conscious.

"So," Demyx ventured carefully, eyeing him in concern, "Which one are you in love with again?"

Axel's smirk fell. Oh. That. "Well…fuck if I know."

Zexion shook his head while the rest of the listeners all let out simultaneous sounds of frustration, protest and amusement. It was lunch time at Jecht Academy and Axel was sitting at his normal lunch table with his misfit albeit awesome friends…across from Roxas Strife's table.

Not that he planned that or anything. Well…okay, maybe he did.

Subtly, he stood up and stretched, glancing over the miscellaneous heads until his eyes rested on Roxas. The adorable blonde was snapping at Hayner for stealing a chip, something that didn't cause his friends to cringe or jump, but to laugh. It looked like they were finally used to his old self again.

Olette felt him staring and looked directly at him, before leaning in and whispering something to Roxas. Whatever she said caused him to redden. Suddenly, his eyes were meeting his own, and it was Axel who was trying not to blush.

"Oh stop it." Larxene snapped irritably, tugging Axel's shirt and pulling him down into his seat. "I still hate that selfish son of a bitch."

"He's not selfish. He's just confused." Zexion answered softly, giving her a warning look. "He's still our friend, so don't speak about what you do not know."

Larxene snarled at him before sliding further down her seat without another word. Seemed that she too had forgotten that Roxas used to be one of their friends before he changed. Axel sighed into his fries, picking absently at them. He missed those days. If only he wasn't so stupid! If only he hadn't encouraged Roxas to undergo that rigged surgery.

If only he had loved him like he was supposed to.

_April_

Axel Highwind needed to stop staring at me. It was cute at first; even sexy at times, but now it was a damn nuisance. My cheeks couldn't handle it! I was walking around, looking like a freaking tomato, all because that damn redhead couldn't stop undressing me with his eyes!

I had come to terms with the fact that every side of me was in love with Axel. What I had not come to terms with was the fact that if I told Axel this, he might not reciprocate or worse…

He might feel the same way, and we were going to have to fucking date. _Date_!

What was this, a musical? Why did everything have to be so black and white? Either I love Axel and I date him, or I don't date Axel, so I can't have him.

And I wanted him. Oh, I wanted him so bad it fucking hurt.

I wanted his body, his love…his soul. I wanted everything; every part of him to myself.

But that would require being in the limelight. That would require getting looks from my peers when I held his hand, since just a few weeks ago, I swore I hated him. That would require girls like Selphie getting all up in my face, trying to fight me, because they loved him just as much as I do.

That would…also require…well, giving up on Namine completely. Even though she was far, far away off in Zanarkand, I still caught myself thinking about her.

Besides…Axel might not even love me. For all I know, he's still in love with the kid I used to be. And that person was gone forever.

I think.

The bell rang—we were all sitting at our usual lunch table, coincidentally across from Axel's—and I stood up, raising my arms above my head to get a good stretch in. A little bit of skin peeked out from underneath my untucked shirt, but I ignored it, figuring that no one was watching.

Suddenly, I felt a tight hand grip my wrist. My immediate reaction was to send a punch with my other hand, but when I saw it was only Axel, my body relaxed instantly.

"What are you doing?" Axel whispered hotly in my ear, causing me to blush from his warm breath on my ear. "Trying to seduce the whole damn school?"

I looked up. Indeed, I was receiving a number of longing stares from both girls and guys. Scoffing, I gave Axel a mocking look—but I didn't pull away from his grasp. "Does the 'whole school' include you as well?"

Olette, Hayner and Pence all slowed in their movements, watching us in curiosity. Axel leaned in closer to me so that his lips were actually touching my ear. "I should be the only one in school that you notice, Roxas."

"No more 'Angel'?" I challenged, but in the back of my mind I was wondering if he preferred that version of me. Ugh, I was ridiculed with self-doubt.

"Nothing about you is angelic." Axel responded simply. At my insecure expression, he added, "It's very sexy."

"Okay, okay, that's enough. Time for class." Hayner interjected obnoxiously, wedging himself in between us. "Let's go, Roxas."

Axel smiled mockingly. "Roxas and I are going to the same class. Shouldn't I take him?"

Hayner grimaced and opened his mouth to say something, but Olette shook her head and covered his mouth with her hand, smiling ruefully. "Oh, that's right! Hayner has to come with us for some unknown reason. Let's go, Hayner!"

"So," Axel began pleasantly as we walked to class, ignoring the longing sighs the two of us were getting individually, "Prom is next week."

I flushed and directed my attention to my sneakers. Prom…ugh. I remembered saying I would go with him back before my therapy. Would he still make me go? Or was I home free?

"Yeah…prom…" I muttered distantly, still avoiding eye contact. Axel smirked and gave me a reassuring pat on the back that somehow convinced me that he was a good person who wasn't going to make me go. "I don't have to go, right?"

"Wrong. You're my date…_remember_?" Axel snickered, pocking my forehead with his finger teasingly. "A promise is a promise!"

I stared at him in horror. "I promised?"

Was I an idiot in my past life? Why the hell would I promise something like that?

Axel scratched his head evasively. "Eh, something like that. Anyway, a man's word is practically a promise, right? So you have to go with me."

I frowned. This felt like a trap. Besides that, why the fuck was Axel forcing me to do something I promised a bajillion years ago…back when I wasn't even myself? He could be a bit more sensitive, dammit!

Besides…if he wanted me to go with him, he should ask me again, properly, like a date.

Not that I wanted that!

"Whatever. I'm going to class." I suddenly snapped, shoving past Axel and into class. I made sure to plop down into the seat between two people so Axel couldn't get to me. He slowly walked in and stared at me, looking adorably bewildered.

I looked away. Just looking at him looking like that made me want to kiss him. Fuck.

This was going to be a long class.

* * *

"What exactly are you upset about?" Selphie asked me, staring at me with wide eyes. "Not judging or anything, though, promise!"

I regarded her sadly, clutching my backpack aggressively lest someone try to steal it. It had been a while since I'd been on the bus and the kids were rowdier than ever. It had also been a while since I'd talked to Selphie normally. But since we were friends in my past life, I was trying to make a more conscience effort to be nicer to her or whatever.

"I'm starting to get the feeling that Axel doesn't…well, that he's not making a huge effort to get to know the 'me' now, you know?"

Selphie hummed in thought, looking away from me. "I don't think it's anything serious, though."

"It is to me!" I snapped in frustration, before shaking my head and immediately apologizing. This is why I couldn't ever make new friends. "Uh, sorry."

Selphie shrugged, but I could tell that she still wasn't used to my constant mood swings. "Don't worry about it. A-Anyway, I'm pretty sure he's doing everything in his power to make you fall in love with him."

I pinched the bridge of my nose as I took a deep breath. I didn't want to have to tell her this, but…for time purposes…"Selphie, I've been in love with Axel for a while now. That can't be the problem, here."

You would have thought I told Selphie I secretly fantasized about Elmo in my sleep. Her whole being jumped up in surprise, her curls bouncing comically while her expression was one of complete and total shock.

"Wow…you're so surprised. Should I be offended?" I joked lamely, giving her a weird look. "No really…you look way too shocked."

"My plan actually worked!" She squeaked to herself, but at my puzzled look she quickly coughed and added, "I-I mean…my…friendship plan? Since we must be friends for you to…uh…have to tell me that."

"Oh." I responded indifferently, turning to look out of the window. Trees and suburban houses swam past us, looking so cozy and quiet. I kind of felt out of place with all of my problems… "Anyway…he's managed to make me fall for him…now it's his turn to fall in love with me."

Selphie fell silent in realization. "Oh…well…you're right."

Of course I was right.

_**6 Days Until Prom**_

Because I was a fucking sucker, I decided to go ahead and buy my ticket to prom. Just in case Axel actually grew some balls and asked me to be his date in the most romantic way he could think of.

So far, he hadn't.

I'll be honest…I was confused as hell. Sure, he bantered with me all the time, acted like he wanted to fuck me, got jealous when other guys checked me out…but not once had he actually stepped up and asked me out.

Why, dammit? I was waiting for him. It was his damn move!

At this point, I was willing to put down my walls and…and date him. In public. Officially.

More and more my feelings for him were growing, and I was tired of acting like I didn't want this man for myself. I was tired of having to fight for everything. It was high time someone else fought for me too.

"You tell him that?" Olette demanded as we stood in line for our prom tickets, talking about my problems to pass the time. "How's he supposed to know, Roxas? He doesn't even know you love him!"

"Shut up!" I hissed, covering her mouth with my hand. I didn't want everyone to know my feelings yet…what if Axel didn't reciprocate? "Don't go public with that shit!"

"Well, excuse me!" Olette retorted in a tone that told me she had no intention of apologizing. "I guess I just thought you had bigger balls!"

I rolled my eyes at her and motioned for us to walk forward, since the line was moving. "Whatever. I'll get some balls when _he_ grows a pair."

"That's so not how it works." She mumbled, folding her arms, but I ignored her.

"All he has to do is ask me, and everything will be great."

_**5 Days Until Prom**_

Why the fuck hadn't he asked me yet?

Well, fine. His witty bantering privileges were gone.

_**4 Days Until Prom**_

"Roxaaaaaas…" Axel whined as we spoke to each other in the hall next to my locker for the first time in three days. "What did I do?"

"Think really, really hard." I bit, yanking my books out of my locker to avoid eye contact. One look into those eyes and I would be a goner. "You'll figure it out."

"Why don't you just tell me and stop playing these damn games?" Axel demanded, sounding a wee bit snappier than I expected. As if he had any right to get irritated with _me_!

"I'm not playing any games; _you're_ the one who is playing with _me_." I retorted, slamming my locker door shut and turning to face him. For once, I wasn't going to run away. That was the old me…I was Roxas fucking Strife now.

"Be honest with me. Do you love me?" I asked him slowly, staring intently at the hole in my shoe. I resisted the urge to take off running and stayed put, waiting, on edge, for his answer.

He stared at me with an unreadable expression, but I didn't let that deter me.

"Here's the thing, Axel." I murmured, feeling as if it was just him and me in this damn school; we were the only ones in this moment. "I'm…well, I'm in love with you again. And I know thus far you've been in love with the other version of me. Do you think you could love the me now? The present me?"

Axel looked me straight in the eye, and I held my breath, waiting, on edge, for his response.

"I…I just don't know Roxas."

"You just…don't know." I repeated emotionlessly, feeling a familiar coldness wash over me. Jeez…this was bad. This was really bad.

"Don't look like that." Axel breathed, looking torn, but I didn't care. He had no right to give a damn about what expressions I made. He had no right to me anymore.

"Okay." I mumbled, that being the only word I could think of, before turning on my heels and walking away stiffly. I heard him call after me, but I just didn't care anymore. I was tired of fighting for his affection.

**3 Days Until Prom**

"You're being ridiculous, you know." Olette sighed as we sat back-to-back on the floor of my room. After she had gotten over the initial horror that one always felt when entering my room, she was now focusing all of her energy on convincing me that I was an idiot when it came to Axel.

I didn't doubt that one bit.

"Yep." I replied instantly, hiding a smile. She wasn't going to like that.

"Oh, so you're aware of it." She snapped in exasperation, turning around so fast that I fell on my ass from the lack of structure. Blinking up at her, I shrugged.

"I'm so, so aware of it." I told her seriously. She frowned down at me for a second before plopping on my body as if I was a pillow.

"Everyone is."

**2 Days Until Prom**

It was going to be a bad day. I could just feel it.

Coffee spilled on my shirt, my shoes broke, I got an F on an assignment, and Riku jacked Sora off when he thought I wasn't looking. I had been looking.

It had been a bad day.

But only because Axel wasn't at school that day.

**1 Day Until Prom**

This was Axel's last chance to ask me to prom so we could make-up and go together. But I wasn't hoping or anything that he would. Really. I wasn't.

"I'll bet he's going to do something extravagant!" Olette guessed excitedly, sitting down next to me at lunch. "Can't you just feel it?"

"I feel indigestion. God, those cheese fries were not a good idea." Hayner deadpanned, causing me to snort. Of course, Olette glared at me as if _I_ was the one that said it.

"Look, mister, that's your knight in shining armor. If you don't be careful, he'll ride off into the sunset without you." She snapped, opening her apple juice with vigor.

I shrugged. I didn't even like horses.

I glanced up to see if Axel was at his lunch table. But in that moment, I felt my heart stop. Not because sexy green eyes met my own. But because he was kneeling down, holding a big bouquet of flowers in his hand, pointing them at…

Selphie.

"What the hell?" I blubbered, standing up angrily and glaring at him. How could he? All this time, he was in love with fucking Selphie? No wonder he hadn't asked me to prom…he was planning to go with _her_.

Axel frowned from the other side of the room, calling out my name, but I ran out of the lunchroom before he could catch me. I was so done with him. No more! This love game was just too much for me to handle.

_Axel_ was too much for me to handle.

**Prom Day**

"Are you a complete idiot?"

Riku and I stood towering over Sora's bed, staring down at its inhabitant, who was surrounded by used tissues and uneaten bowls of soup. He sniffed pitifully, peering up at Riku with wide blue eyes.

"Rikuuuu…don't be mean to me…I'm sick!" He wailed, flailing his arms in a half-hearted attempt to grab his hand. Riku rolled his eyes, but I noticed he intertwined his fingers with Sora's comfortingly when he thought neither of us was paying attention.

"What kind of dummy _sleepwalks_ in 30 degree weather?" He scoffed, sitting down next to my brother and placing a soothing hand over his forehead. Changing his voice so it was very kind, he cooed, "You're such a dumbass."

Sora stupidly beamed at him, deceived by his nice tone. "Thanks, Riku!"

Riku and I fell silent to allow Sora proper time to register what he actually said. Let's be honest, no one ever said my brother was smart.

"Hey!"

"Okay guys, I'm going to order pizza and watch _Saw_. Who's in?" I offered cheerfully, holding up the aforementioned DVD in my hand with a grin. "Good old fashioned gore!"

Sora sat up shakily, giving me a pointed glare. "Don't you have a prom to be attending? You _have_ to go to prom!"

"I don't have a date." I shrugged, giving him a challenging smirk. How 'bout that?

"Oh, yes you do." Sora grinned back before pointing determinedly at Riku. "He's your new prom date."

Riku's face darkened at the same time that mine drained completely of color. No way. There was no fucking way I was going to prom with goddamn _Riku_.

"No." Riku and I responded at the same time. "Besides," I added, taking a few steps away from them, "Axel would know it was me, and then he would get mad that I went to prom with someone else."

"That's what disguises are made for." Sora said, laughing maniacally before breaking into a fit of hacking coughs.

Riku sighed. "Why are you such a cliché?"

"Whatever," Sora retorted, settling back down into the bed much to Riku's relief, I noticed. "You guys love me, admit it."

"No need."

"Nah."

Sora growled half-heartedly as he slowly began to drift into sleep. "This medicine…makes me…'leepy…"

"I know. Just go to sleep. I'll be here when you wake up." Riku whispered with a slight smile, giving him a chaste kiss to his forehead.

"Promise you'll go to prom with Roxas?" Sora mumbled, squeezing Riku's hand. "Please?"

Riku glanced at me speculatively before turning back to Sora. Now he was blinking up at him, his wide eyes sleepy yet admiring. I frowned. This was a lost cause.

"Fine…I promise."

* * *

Two hours later, dressed in a puffy pink prom dress that Riku found in the back of his mom's closet, Riku and I were taking prom pictures for Sora to see when he woke up. These pictures were not going to be lovely because I did not _want_ to look lovely, therefore my expression _was not lovely_. In fact, I was scowling.

I understood the dress. You know, the whole dress-man-like-woman-so-other-man-won't-tell-who-it-is trick. Sure, I got that. But why did I need a blonde wig that made my hair look long and fluffy? And why the hell did I need to be wearing so much make-up I looked like a baby doll?

Riku snickered at my facial expression. "You look like an evil Princess."

I regarded him blankly. "That's the best you could come up with?"

My retort had no affect on Riku whatsoever. This is why I could never be with him. "No, there's some good ones swimming in my head, but I want to be a gentleman for the _lady_."

"Fuck you." I spat, grabbing my purse in the manliest manner I could muster. "Now come on, the limo is waiting and my heels are killing me."

* * *

The second I walked into prom, I knew this plan wasn't going to work. For one thing, the whole place looked like a Paris ball or something. It was such a romantic atmosphere that I felt wistful that I was here with my brother's boyfriend, and not the person I was interested in.

Not that that was my fault, mind you. I'm not the one who asked another girl to prom.

But when I noticed Axel, who was watching the door hopefully, he wasn't there with Selphie. In fact, I saw Selphie dancing with Tidus near the DJ stand. That was odd.

Nervously, I passed him with Riku in tow on our way deeper into the room. Still, there was no way he could recognize me dressed like a girl. His eyes flickered over me in disinterest for a moment, but lingered on my face. Hotly, I turned away.

"Come on, Riku." I whispered, pulling him away from Axel. Riku just groaned.

We sat at Olette's table, trying to pretend as if we were just strangers. But even Olette was staring at me in confusion, trying to discern if she knew me or not.

To make things worse, I could still feel Axel staring at me intensely from the other side of the room. I quickly looked away, trying to force my blush to go down. This wouldn't do. If he kept staring at me, he was definitely going to figure out it was me.

"Let's dance!" I trilled to Riku, grabbing his hand to pull him to the dance floor. To my chagrin, he stubbornly remained rooted to the spot, giving me an indifferent shrug.

"Go dance by yourself." He told me with little emotion. At my outraged expression, he had the _nerve to flip his hair over his shoulder_ and sniff, "I don't dance."

"Riku…darling…" I pleaded through clenched teeth, forcing a polite smile on my face. When he didn't budge, I quietly added, "_You don't have a fucking say in this; you're a goddamn rag doll, got it_?"

Riku frowned but wordlessly followed me on the dance floor. When I turned to face him, he had his arms folded stubbornly over his chest, eyeing me distastefully. "You used to be adorable. What happened?"

I scowled at him, growing even more irritated by the second. "I grew up, asshole. Maybe you should try it."

"Solid joke." Riku scoffed sarcastically, but thankfully, he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close, just as a slow song played on the speakers. We silently began to dance, each watching each other with introspective expression on our faces.

Finally, Riku broke the silence by leaning over, whispering in my ear, "What if our fates were different?"

"Huh?"

"I mean," Riku began awkwardly, no longer looking at me. "What if I didn't love Sora so goddamn much? What if it was you? You look the same…why not you?"

I smirked up at him. Was he a dumbass? "That's because—"

"You're annoying as hell." We both answered at the same time, then burst out laughing. In lieu of our merriment, Riku spun me, but I lost my balance from the heels, tumbling away from him and right into—

"Axel!" I exclaimed without thinking as he caught me in his arms. I stared up at him timidly, taking in his expression. He was glowering at me, his aura screaming _'I'm going to kill you.'_

Crap.

I flinched and made a move to get out of his grasp, but he physically _picked me up_ and hauled me over his shoulder, dragging me out of the auditorium while everyone watched us in surprise.

When we got out into the hallway, he finally set me down. I whirled around to face him, but found myself looking away again when I saw that his face was not kind whatsoever.

Unsure of what to do, I put on my best fake smile and began, "U-Um…it's really nice to meet you, Axel High—"

"Because I'm _really_ the kind of guy who wouldn't be able to tell who his romantic interest is, just by putting on some make-up and a wig." Axel spat out bitterly, glaring down at me condescendingly. "Yeah, I'm clearly the smarter half of this relationship."

"Hey!" I sputtered indignantly, crossing my arms and pointing a finger accusingly at him. "I'm not the one who asked another person to prom, now am I?"

Axel rolled his eyes at me as he nodded his head towards the auditorium. "Clearly you are, since you're here with fucking Riku."

I opened my mouth to retort, but faltered brilliantly. Goddamn it…that was true…

"Y-Yeah, but," I stammered, trying to get my wits about me, "You're the one who asked Selphie to prom first! I know you don't love me, but…I thought you at least _liked_ me!"

Axel stared at me wordlessly for a second before yanking me towards him by pulling on my dress, no doubt stretching it. I tumbled into his arms; all I could do was blink up at him.

"Wha—?"

"Are you some kind of idiot?" He muttered in irritation, gazing down at me intently. "Those flowers were all for you. Selphie was just helping me."

"B-But—?"

"You would've known that immediately," Axel continued as if I hadn't spoken, "had you not have run away from me. Again."

I fell silent, feeling like the world's biggest dummy. Maybe I _was_ stupid…why couldn't I keep a clear head when it came to Axel?

Feeling exhausted, I rested my forehead against Axel's chest, surprising him. "I…Axel, this isn't going to work."

I felt him stiffen, but I didn't let go. He had to hear this…he had to understand. "You…y-you…aren't in love with me, are you?"

When I didn't get a response, I nodded to myself slowly. "I know. I'm not the fucking little Angel you fell in love with. I'm stupid, irrational, and jump to conclusions. Most of all, I'm selfish as hell. That's not what you signed up for, but still, you stay with me. I'm very thankful for that. But…I can't hold you back anymore."

"Hold me back?" Axel repeated blankly. I clutched his arms tighter.

"I-If you don't love me…j-just leave. Find some nice girl, go to college, and just leave me alone."

"Roxas," Axel began softly, tenderly resting his hand against my cheek, "I—"

"Axel! Roxas!" Selphie cried, as she suddenly came into view. She was clutching her purse and jacket, looking as if she were about to run off at any moment. "It's Namine! We have to go see her now…she's really sick! Come on, I've got the limo ready!"

"What?" Axel and I demanded at the same time. Giving them both weird looks, I added, "How're we going to get to her by limo? She's all the way in Zanarkand! And…how do you two even know her?"

"Ugh, there's no time for this! We'll explain in the car!" Selphie yelled, grabbing both of our arms and yanking us towards the door. "Let's go!"

"She's here, on the Islands?" I asked sharply as we ran to the doors, shooting them suspicious looks. "How long has she been here? You guys knew?"

Selphie didn't say anything, just gave me an apologetic look as she continued running. Axel, on the other hand, was looking at everything but me. I felt a wave of dread wash over me as I realized it…all of those awkward conversations with Hayner about her…Olette's awful acting attempts when it came to the topic…Axel's knowing smirk whenever I brought her up…

"You knew she was here all along, didn't you? You lied to me!" I shouted, stopping in my running to glare at Axel darkly. How could he? HOW COULD HE?

"Angel, listen—"

"Don't call me that!" I roared and without thinking, I sent a hard punch to Axel's jaw, sending him stumbling away from me and Selphie.

"Roxas!" Selphie gasped, but I only shoved past her to the doors, striding outside and over to where our limo driver stood anxiously waiting. "They're not coming with us." I told him aggressively as I climbed inside. "Just go."

By the time Axel and Selphie came rushing out of the school, we were already pulling out of the parking lot.

* * *

I stared wide-eyed at the mansion that the limo pulled up to, feeling a wave of hurt wash over me. So Selphie had been here enough times to tell the limo driver where to go and how to get here. I glared at the limo driver, feeling betrayed even by him, as I snapped at him to wait here.

Then I made my way up to the house, anger propelling me straight through the door without knocking. An elderly man in a crinkled suit, holding in one hand a doll that looked startlingly like Namine and in the other a glass of water, froze in shock as I swung open the door.

"Where is she?" I demanded, slamming the door behind me. "Where's Namine?"

The elderly man stared at me for a moment before realization dawned on his face. "Don't tell me…are you Roxas Strife?"

My anger dissipated momentarily in my confusion. "Uh…yeah. How did you know?"

The man shook his head sadly. "Miss Namine has told me much about you. I'm her butler. Have you come to see her off, Roxas? Or do you have a plan to save her?"

I frowned at the waver of hope in his last question. Save her? Wait…"Is she…actually _dying_?"

He nodded once before disappointment overtook him. He wordlessly led me to Namine's bedroom, where a sign hung from the door announcing, "Last-Minute Visits in Here".

I felt my stomach churn nervously at the sign. So it was true. Namine really was dying. But what did the butler mean? Why would I have a plan to save her when I didn't even know what was wrong?

I softly opened the door, wanting to be careful not to startle Namine when she saw that it was me again. Who I found, however, sitting by the open window, was not the girl I remembered.

"N-Namine!" I choked out, striding to her and pulling her to my chest. My anger threatened to explode and obliterate the whole house. "What the fuck happened to you?"

"Roxas…?" Namine breathed in question, peering up at me with tired, dull blue eyes. "What are you...?"

"I swear I had no fucking idea you were on the islands…this is all Axel fucking Highwind's fault! I would've been there for you in your illness—I wouldn't have wasted my time with that traitorous bastard, I promise you, Namine!"

At my frustration-fueled outburst, Namine shook her head and pulled away from me, giving me the look I was accustomed to receiving from her back when were staying at that hospital together in the past. Sympathy.

"Roxas…your temper…is out of control." She managed to sigh, before breaking out in a fit of coughs that left my prom dress splattered with blood. She began to apologize before she finally registered that I was dressed like a woman.

"Why are you…?"

"Don't worry about it." I cut her off. "No time. Listen, now that I'm here…tell me what I can do to save you! What's killing you, Namine? Tell me and I'll find a cure."

Namine reached over to drag a drawing towards me, but the movement proved too hard for her. Instead, she collapsed in my arms, managing only to bring the drawing a little closer. Catching on to what she was doing, I took the picture myself and glanced at it.

It was a scribbled drawing of me and…Axel?

"What is this? How do you know Axel?" I demanded, crumbling up the paper and tossing it over my shoulder. "Never mind, he's a waste of time. Now about that cure…"

Namine coughed wildly as she tried to tell me something, but I shushed her by picking her up in arms. She weakly clung to me as I strode out of the room towards the front of the house where I knew the exit was; I was taking this patient to the hospital.

But before I could reach out to open the door, it swung open on its own accord, and I found myself face to face with Axel Highwind.

His facial expression was an odd balance between apologetic and pissed. But knowing Axel, he was probably leaning more towards the disgruntled side.

"Where the fuck are you going?" He demanded, stepping so we were close…so very close. His scent was so enticing…but there was no time for this.

I glared at him defiantly. "I'm taking Namine to the hospital and there's nothing you can do to stop me."

Selphie, who had been hiding behind Axel, suddenly jumped out from behind me and cried, "No! Her only cure is right here in this house!"

I stared at her, noting that maybe there was something valuable about Selphie after all! "Really? Take us there!"

In a bold move, Selphie snatched Namine from me in the blink of an eye, pushed me out of the house, and locked the door. While we stood there, shocked, like idiots, Selphie called out, "Making up is the cure, dummies! Admit you love each other…then you can come back inside! Until then, I'm watching over Namine."

Then…utter silence.

I blinked a couple of times more. This wasn't happening. The love of my life, who I had shamefully neglected in favor of a lying, sneaky redhead, was dying and I was trapped outside of her house.

I did the only thing I could think of.

"LET ME IN TH E FUCKING HOUSE, YOU STUPID GIRL!" I shouted at the door, kicking it a couple of times for effect. I swirled around to face Axel when I didn't get any response, eyeing him distastefully. "Aren't you going to help?"

Axel regarded me like I was some kind of child. "It's no use. She means what she said. Apparently you and I making up is the cure."

I shoved him from pure disbelief. "That's ridiculous! You're just saying that so I'll forgive you!"

He frowned at me deeply, unmoving from where I shoved him. "Violence won't save her, Roxas."

"Don't you dare talk about her!" I hollered, just to release some tension. I knew yelling wouldn't help at all, but somehow it felt good. "You tricked me into falling in love with you, then you just up and decided you didn't want me anymore! Now the one person I _really_ love is dying all because of you!"

"How the hell is that my fault?" Axel replied snappily, and now I could see I had finally riled him up. "You always blame me for things out of anyone's control! How was I supposed to know that your little love prospect is dying from our fighting? Huh? Riddle me that!"

I hesitated for a second, then came back with, "You lied to me about her being here all this time! Why? Why would you do that? I trusted you!"

A flicker of remorse appeared in his green irises before he shook his head and hardened once more. "I'm not going to apologize for that…I did what I thought I needed to do to get you back."

That last statement made me angrier than anything he had ever said or done to me. It made me even angrier than his lies about Namine. And that was saying something.

"Well you won! You got me back—I'm fucking in love with you! But you _don't_ want me back! Not for real—you've just been playing with me this whole time, and now that you have me, you don't want me!"

I was so angry I could spit. So I did. I was so angry I could hit something. So I hit the door. I was so angry I could cry. So that too, against my will, happened.

Axel's expression softened as I turned away from him, wiping my tears with my fists. There wasn't time for this crying shit, I tried to tell myself. I needed to man-up.

But when I finally got the courage to turn back around, I saw that Axel had moved and was now standing tall, directly in front of me. I flinched and made a move to get away, but his hand shot out and wrapped around my wrists. His grip was firm, insistent.

"I need to tell you something, Roxas." He started, his voice painfully soft. It made my heart ache. "Something I was going to tell you before Selphie interrupted us."

I blinked up at him, feeling warm and confused…for whatever reason, when he looked at me like that, and talked all soft and low, my anger was ineffective. I couldn't bring myself to yell anymore.

"This side of you, Roxas, this impulsive, irrational, open side to you, is what I fell in love with five years ago. In a way, I've always loved this version of you, and so long as I'm with you, I always will. I realized during that lonely week that you weren't speaking to me that _this_ is the foundation for any other side of you that I've met. This is the original manuscript. This is part of what I love. What I fell for." He explained, giving me a tender look that made me melt even more. "I don't know what I was so confused about…of course I love you this way!"

"B-But…" I stammered, feeling lost without my anger. "What about the nice version of me I'm always hearing about, or…or..."

Axel leaned in even closer to me and smiled. "I can't live without you Roxas. You could come up with a million more personalities and I would just keep on falling for them. Because, no matter how you act, you'll always be Roxas Strife, my soul mate. My lover."

My heart was absolutely gleeful at what I was hearing, but my head wasn't quite convinced. Maybe it was because, prior to this, he was so torn up about this. His insecurities, now vanished, were _my_ insecurities.

"How can you say that? Me and that sugary, fake Roxas are so different! You said so yourself! And I don't get it…if you really love me, how could you love that other version of me the same way? How?" I demanded, and to my horror, more tears erupted. Axel ran a hand through his hair in distress, obviously disliking my tears. But that was too bad!

"Now, now, calm down." He murmured into my hair after he pulled me close again. "Let me try to make this clear. Roxas…haven't you realized it? We need each other. When you're with me….when you love me…there's only one Roxas I see. My Roxas. Your personality may be different, but your actions…your feelings…they're always the same with me. Real."

I was sobbing now. He was right, of course. But I was so tired of being an inconvenience to other people; I wanted to be one self. I wanted to be whole.

"I love you." Axel breathed into my ear, causing me to shiver from his warmth and his words. "I'm sorry it took me so long to understand."

I nodded silently, happier, but not completely pleased. It was nothing Axel had done…it was me. I wanted this all to be over. I didn't want to have to worry about another personality resurfacing. I was ready to end this.

But first…Namine!

I stayed in Axel's arms for a second longer before gently extracting myself. When I was free, I ran to the door and pounded on it, feeling desperation creep into my voice. "Selphie…where's Namine? Please let us in! I have to see her!"

To my relief, the door slowly creaked open as Selphie poked her head out. I searched her blank expression, trying to determine if I was too late. I didn't quite understand what was happening, but I was willing to trust her if she knew Namine as well as it appeared.

Finally, she cracked a half-smile. "She's not in pain anymore."

At my joyous expression, she shook her head and let the smile fade. "No Roxas, she's not in the clear yet. She's still dying. Now it's just not as painful."

I frowned but said nothing, only followed her inside, trailed by a concerned Axel. He tugged Selphie back and asked her sharply, "How do we cure her for good?"

Selphie sighed dejectedly. "Well, from what she told me, you and Roxas reconciling should have done the trick. But…she's still dying. I'm not sure what went wrong."

I bit back the annoyed feeling that threatened to overcome me from the realization that Selphie had been visiting her this whole time and instead asked, "Why does my relationship with Axel affect her at all?"

Selphie looked down quietly and whispered, "She'll have to tell you. Come on."

We followed Selphie upstairs to a strange room in the corner of the house, made noticeable only by the drawing of Namine and her sister, Xion, hanging on the door. Selphie knocked shortly, twice, then stepped back as the door slowly opened itself, revealing a narrow cave-like tunnel inside.

When neither of us moved, Selphie huffed impatiently. "No time for this!" With a forceful push, Selphie propelled Axel and I forward and into the tunnel. We tumbled down the stairs in the most painful way possible, our legs jumbled together and our arms intertwined.

"Ow, dammit Selphie!" I grunted angrily, rubbing my head as the stairs finally ended and we were crumbled in a heap on the floor. "What the fuck is her problem?"

Axel helped me to my feet as he too cursed her existence. "Ridiculous girl.

A small cry grabbed our attention, and we both looked up to see Namine unmoving on a white bed. My distressed feelings came rushing back as I ran to her bedside. I watched her helplessly. "Namine…what should I do? What's going on?"

Namine struggled to sit up, but I gently pushed her back down. She didn't need to be exerting any more energy than she already was. "D-Do…you remember…um…Xion, my sister?"

I nodded shortly. "Of course. Did you ever find her? What happened to her? Is she here?"

Namine smiled so sadly that I almost wished she had not smiled at all. "W-Well…she passed away. F-From the same…the same spell that…that's k-killing m-me."

I stiffened. What? What the hell? What kind of curse was running through Namine's family?

Still, that was good news. All curses could be broken. All spells could be taken back. We just had to figure out how.

"What's the spell, Namine?" I asked her hopefully, starting to feel a bit better about the situation. "Tell me, please, so I can fix it."

Namine smiled weakly again before shaking her head. "Xion used a true love spell to bind us, Roxas, so that we would not be alone. Unfortunately, I was unable to reciprocate your feelings and...s-she died."

My jaw dropped, as did Axel's. This…that couldn't be right. I loved Namine so much back then…how could she not have felt the same? How could she not have loved me? We were soul mates, right?

Oh, but then…what about Axel? What were we? I loved him too…but who did I love more?

"So you bound Roxas and I? Why?" Axel demanded, looking uncertain suddenly about something. I frowned. What was wrong with him? Why was he so worried?

Namine took a deep breath, struggling to hold on to life. "B-Because…because I w-wanted Roxas to have one self once more and I k-knew that you…that you loved him."

"Why would you do this?" Axel shouted, turning around and punching the wall. I stared at him, shocked. What'd he do that for?

"Axel!" I snapped, reaching out to grab his bleeding hand, but he only tugged it from my grasp.

"We all know that he'll never love me as much as he loves you. And I'm okay with that. But now…now you're going to die from your stupidity and that's going to torture him for the rest of his life!" Axel yelled, not looking at me. "How…cruel!"

I gazed at him, feeling hurt for him. He thought that I loved Namine more than him…but…that wasn't true. Or was it? I was supposed to love Namine more…I always had, right? So why was my heart pounding, begging me to deny his claims? Why was my blood pumping on fire, threatening me to stop working if I hurt him? Why wasn't I okay with him thinking that?

"You're wrong!" I blurted before I stop myself. When Axel and Namine both looked at me, I mumbled hesitantly, "Y-You have that wrong."

"What?" Axel asked sharply, giving me a look that told me not to lie to him. "Don't try to preserve my feelings. I'm fine with the way things are."

"Well I'm not!" I blurted again, now feeling more confident in my feelings. "It's okay to be jealous, Axel! It's okay to be confident in my feelings for you! It's okay to _need_ to be loved by me!"

Axel just looked at me, speechless. When he didn't say anything, I continued, allowing the tears of emotion to prickle my eyes. "I've always loved Namine, so I've always been confident in my feelings for her. Somehow I knew that I would be in love with her forever. But then you came along and fucked all of that up! Now you're the first thing I think about in the morning and the last thing at night. You consume me. So when I say that I love you, don't you dare doubt it!"

Axel was watching me with a guarded look in his eyes. But when he saw that I was for real, that I wasn't kidding, that expression melted away to reveal a face full of utmost joy.

"Oh, Roxas." He breathed, shaking his head helplessly. "I'm so in love with you."

Suddenly, a strange darkness enveloped me, separating me from Namine and Axel. What the hell was happening?

"_So you're this Angry Roxas I keep hearing about." A voice that sounded strangely like mine called out. I looked up to see me—at least, it looked like me—wearing our school uniform and smiling at me. I frowned._

"_What the hell—where am I?" I demanded, folding my arms and glaring at this clone of me. What was going on? I needed some damn answers._

"_Wow, am I really like this? This aggressive?" The Other Roxas laughed, grinning fondly at me. "No wonder everyone feared this side."_

"_What's happening?" I shouted, reaching out to grab The Other Roxas but only ending up on my ass. I stared up at the face that was now peering down at me in amusement. _

"_You can't hurt me without hurting yourself, silly!" He trilled, holding out a hand for me to grab. I grudgingly took it, standing up and facing him again._

"_Please tell me what's happening."_

_The Other Roxas pursed his lips. "Since you asked nicely…you're in your subconscious right now. We need to merge with our other selves to become one conscious—one being in one body. It won't take long, but…I wanted to meet you just once."_

_I sniffed. "Well, you have. Now can we get out of here so I can get back to Namine and Axel?"_

_The Other Roxas laughed once more (jeez he sure did laugh a lot!) and nodded. "You don't have to tell me twice…I really miss Axel. I've been stuck in your brain this whole time! But yes, let's go get the others."_

"_Others?" I asked skeptically. How many selves did I have?_

_The Other Roxas gave me a funny look. "Yes…you weren't aware of them? Wow, no wonder it took so long for this meeting to happen! Okay, I'm Angel Roxas and you're Angry Roxas. In the corner is what Axel calls 'Emo Roxas' and by the wall, in a line, are all the other versions of us that were waiting in the shadows to jump in and take over."_

_I stared at Angel Roxas. Woah. "How do we merge?"_

_Angel Roxas held out his hand with a gentle smile. "Just take my hand and…believe in yourself._

With a long gasp, I woke up with a startled jerk, staring up at two faces peering down at me, looking worried. I blinked. What…what just happened? One minute I was talking to a bunch of me's, and the next I'm…back?

"Roxas? Are you okay?" Axel asked me, running a tender hand down my check. When I didn't respond, his gentle touch became a rough pinch on my skin.

"Hey!" I exclaimed, batting his hand away and rubbing my jaw where he pinched it. He shrugged and helped me to my feet, dusting off my clothes just like a mom or something.

"I got it!" I huffed, straightening my clothes with a blush. I didn't need him to do so much for me! Then I felt a dull ache in my head as memories of the past couple of months came rushing back to me all at once. My knees buckled and Axel caught me easily. Now I was happy that he was being so watchful…the last thing I needed was a concussion from falling.

"Thanks, Axel." I blushed, suddenly feeling shy around him. He had been there, in all of my memories, in all of my personalities…the whole time. He really, truly loved me. Just like I really, truly loved him.

We really were meant to be. If all of my personalities and selves loved him, there was no questioning it. No matter who I was, I always needed him.

I straightened up and turned to Namine, who was now standing on her own, looking much better. I smiled in relief. "Namine…you're okay!"

She smiled back, taking my hand in hers and squeezing. "Yes…you broke the spell. I knew you would."

I shook my head in disbelief. "I can't believe you did all of this for me. I don't even know how to begin to thank you."

"Roxas, your happiness is thanks enough. I understand that my actions in the past did nothing but worsen your problems…I never should have left you alone like that. And I'm sorry for the spell I put on you…I just wanted you to be happy." Namine explained, shamefully hiding her face. "I'm sorry."

"Namine, I completely understand." I told her earnestly, turning her gently to face me. "I need you in my life just like I need Axel or air. I will always love you."

I leaned over and gave her a sweet kiss on the cheek. When she giggled, I felt a shuffle behind me. I turned just in time to see Axel leaving the room.

"He's jealous of us…still." I sighed, giving her a helpless look. "What can I do? I mean, it's going to take awhile for my feelings for you to completely fade but…that doesn't mean I don't love him more."

Namine smiled sympathetically at me. "Make him understand. Axel's a very physical person, Roxas. I think you know what I mean by that."

I blushed. Yeah, I think I did.

"Roxas! Are you back? Who are you now? What are you like? Why are you so calm? Who are you?" Selphie exclaimed and questioned at the same time, jumping all over me. I laughed, gently pushing her off, and gave her a kind smile.

"Selphie, I just wanted to say thank you for all of your help. You really cared for Axel, Namine and I, and I treated you like shit most of the time. I'm sorry." I apologized, pulling her into a comforting hug. She first flinched, then melted in my embrace.

"Thank you Roxas. I-I…it's good to feel appreciated." She admitted. Then, before I could say anything, Namine came up the stairs behind me, instantly grabbing Selphie's attention.

"Namine!" She squealed, before throwing her arms around the small girl. "I'm so glad you're okay!"

Then, to my shock, she began raining kisses all over Namine's face. I was even more surprised to see Namine blush and smile as if she liked it! I cleared my throat. "Um…"

"None of your business!" Selphie sniffed and that was the end of that.

Namine giggled, but abruptly stopped, giving me an odd look. When I returned the look, she looked at me curiously and asked, "Roxas? Why are you dressed like a girl? You never explained."

I forgot about that. I laughed while mimicking Selphie, stating only that it was, "None of your business, guys."

I needed to find Axel anyway. Luckily, I had a feeling where he would go…

* * *

"How'd you know I'd be here?" Axel asked me quietly as I sat down next to him on the rooftop of the Japanese steakhouse. I smiled, thinking back to when he first took me up here…when I first admitted to him that I was going to have to undergo hypnotherapy.

"Had a hunch." I said gently, gazing over at him. He wasn't looking at me; refused to look at me. Instead he was watching the cars beneath us, speeding like crazy.

Finally, he muttered, "I had no clue that all of this would come with dating you."

I felt a flicker of nervousness flare up within me. Oh shit…he wasn't breaking up with me, was he? "Y-Yeah, sorry about that."

"Listen, Roxas—"

Oh god, he _was_ breaking up with me! Interrupting him, I began in panic, "Please don't break up with me! I mean, I know technically you haven't been with me these last few weeks but with a different version of me, but I'm the me that the you wanted me to be, and—"

I stopped abruptly. He was laughing. Now I was starting to get annoyed. "What, dammit?"

He gave me a fond smile while ruffling my spikes. "You are too cute, Angel."

I froze in shock. He called me…Angel. I didn't think I was ever going to hear that from him again. A wave of emotion overtook me and suddenly, like some blubbering idiot, I was sobbing.

His face fell in alarm. "What? What is it? What'd I do?"

"N-Nothing, Ax!" I hiccupped, wiping away some of my tears so I wouldn't look so stupid. "You're perfect."

We both stopped at that and looked at each other. Talk about déjà vu. This whole conversation was morphing into the first one on this rooftop, before my therapy.

"I don't _want_ to break up with you, Angel. I know that I should but…I can't." Axel finally murmured quietly. He kissed me softly on the temple, causing a strange warmth to shoot through my body instantly. I practically melted in his arms from the heat.

"Then don't." I whispered back, wrapping my arms around his neck and forcing him on his back. Then, when I had his attention, I took a deep breath and admitted the nagging sentence that had been bothering me. I had to say it to his face without any embarrassment.

"I love you, Axel."

Axel stared up at me in surprise, but didn't pull away. Hesitantly, he asked, "Still? You still love me, even after your transformation?"

I nodded quickly. Of course I did. "I'm not a different person, Axel. I'm just saner…more whole. Complete."

Axel let out a long sigh of relief. In fact, all of the tension in his body just vanished in that moment. At my confused expression, he grinned sheepishly. "I thought maybe you'd forget about your feelings for me or something."

I smiled and traced a finger slowly down his chest. I watched as he shivered from my touch. It made me wish that he would kiss me. "Axel…it's me. I promise."

He grinned back at me, but he still didn't kiss me. I frowned. Jeez…was it too much to ask to get one kiss around here?

"Um…" I began, starting to straighten up, but he yanked me back down so I was sprawled on top of him. "Hey!"

"What is it?" He asked me, looking happier than he had before, but still a tad doubtful. "What's the matter?"

I wanted a kiss…that was the matter. "N-Nothing."

Axel squinted at me curiously, trying to determine what was really bothering me. Wordlessly, I took his hand in mine and placed it over my heart. It was racing, beating faster than I thought was possible.

Green eyes widened before they softened. He gave me the tenderest look I had ever seen. "It _is_ you, Angel." He murmured gently.

I grinned. Of course it was. I was with him.

Then, finally, he placed his lips to mine.

Heat overtook me as I found myself writhing, moaning, against Axel's lean frame. Hands tangled in hair, legs intertwined, tongues danced…it was all so, _so good._

"Ahh, Axel…mmm…" I moaned when his lips moved to my neck. I could feel myself getting excited, growing hard against Axel's thigh. He paused to grin up at me, looking giddy.

"You weren't kidding that one day when you said you were ready to fuck me, huh?" He asked teasingly, and I remembered that day in my bedroom, when I first showed him my horrifying room. When he first wrapped his lips around my—

I must have gotten harder, because Axel's grin became hungrier, more predatorily. "That was a great day, right Angel?"

I blushed and looked away. Jeez, he was starting to embarrass me. "Y-Yeah…"

I felt a soft nip to my jaw, and I couldn't resist a glance back down at Axel. His expression had become adoring once more. "You know I'm serious. That really _was_ a great day."

"I know." I whispered, feeling my own face soften as well. "This one will be better."

Axel suddenly looked uncertain. He knew what I was asking him, and he wanted to be sure. "Angel…"

I smirked down at him, challengingly. "What, you scared?"

Axel raised an eyebrow, but wasn't convinced by my big words. He ran a finger down my chest in contemplation, causing me to shiver. "I'm curious…" he began, tilting his gorgeous head at me, "what do you remember about us having sex?"

I frowned. What was that supposed to mean? "You don't believe that I have all my memories back?"

Axel shrugged and patted my head. "I dunno…there has to be _something_ that got jumbled up in there, right?"

I sighed and tried to think. Well, I was pretty sure we had already had sex, right? I knew for sure we had been fooling around a lot…then we were kissing…Axel had, um, done stuff to me, but…

My eyes widened down at him. Wait…we _hadn't_ had sex before, had we?

At his knowing smirk, I sputtered helplessly. "B-But…Olette had said that we…and I kept thinking…and it seemed like…"

The redhead actually had the nerve to laugh at my confusion. At my appalled glare, he calmed down and gave me chaste kiss. "Relax, I'm not laughing at _you_ per say. It's just that you're so cute right now I can't help it. Anyway, as for sex, we never actually did anything. We got close, that's for damn sure. You seemed to believe that the things we were doing counted. And maybe it does. But as for penetration…no."

I was speechless. So we hadn't done it…wow.

"Now do you still want to fuck me?" Axel asked me in amusement, propping himself up on his elbows and smirking up at me like he was having the time of his life. I sat up so that I was straddling him, a movement that made both of us groan a little as our groins rubbed against each other.

I felt a little lightheaded. Axel was just as hard as I was, if not more so. Deciding to answer Axel's question, I breathed, "Yes."

This time there was no question in Axel's eyes. That one movement had filled him with uncontrollable lust, and I could tell that he wasn't going to doubt my urges again. A husky voice choked out, "Come here."

I leaned back down, moving my hips again as I took his lips for my own. And suddenly, it was a frenzy; a race to feel as much skin as possible. Hands on flesh, flesh on flesh, moans becoming louder than the racing cars…it was perfection.

For the most part, we were evenly matched in our dominance, but as soon as I felt my pants being unzipped and tugged off of my body, shyness overcame me. Reddening, I pulled back a little, avoiding his eyes.

His movements slowed instantly, his focus shifting to me again as his green eyes met my blue. I could tell he was struggling to restrain himself. Shakily, he asked me, "what's wrong, Angel?"

I wrestled with what my response should be, but after living so many lies for so long, I just couldn't bring myself to lie to the one person who had stuck by me.

"I-I'm…shy." I mumbled, letting him see my vulnerability this one time.

Axel stared at me for a long moment before gently taking my hand and placing it to his heart. It was beating even faster than mine. As my eyes widened, he whispered, "Angel…this belongs to you."

"I-I…um…"

"Angel." He repeated, forcing me to look him in the eye with a gentle hand on my jaw, "I'm yours. I love you."

I melted in his embrace. My fingers intertwined with his on their own accord. Oh, how I loved this man. "I love you too, Axel."

He smiled at me confidently, as if he had known this since the dawn of time. "Yeah, I know."

We kissed, and it was sweet and filled with love. We halted all movements in that kiss, letting our feelings instead be communicated in the soft caressing of our lips. And finally, when that kiss was over, we let the heat fill us once more.

"Oh…ahh, Ax-Axel!" I breathed, dripping everywhere, as his lips attached to my nipple and his hand began pumping me way too fast. "W-Wait, not so…not so…ah!"

"What was that?" Axel teased, but there was nothing funny about the hungry glint in those darkened green eyes. "You want it harder? Faster?"

This time I couldn't even form a response. That hand was tightening and moving so fast and it felt like nothing I had ever experienced. I tried to beg him to stop, to tell him that I was about to come, but I couldn't seem to form any words except for "ahh", "mmm", and "yes, Axel, yes!"

Rather forcefully, my body tightened and released, spurting all over Axel's hand and arm. Not that I cared in that moment. I was too busy crying out his name, having the most intense orgasm I could ever remember experiencing.

When it was over, I fell limply against Axel's chest, trembling slightly in his arms.

Breaking the comfortable silence that followed, Axel's voice registered, murmuring, "How did it feel?"

Reason came flowing back to me. Shit…Axel hadn't come yet! What was I thinking, being so damn selfish? I should have held out for penetration!

"Shit, A-Axel, I'm so sorry! I should have tried harder to hold out, and…and…_ahh_!"

Axel was fingering my entrance, making my voice run away from me again. When I fell silent, he rolled his eyes and chuckled deeply. "I wasn't asking because I'm jealous. I was asking because I want to _hear you tell me how I'm making you feel_."

That last part was moaned lowly into my ear, making me dizzy and wanton. More fingers played with my entrance as I gasped and writhed and died in the intense heat I always felt when I was with him.

"It…it feels…" I began, but failed when a finger actually slipped inside of me. I cried out in surprise. I thought it would hurt but…it didn't. If anything, I wanted more of it.

"Go on." Axel pressed, putting a second finger inside of me and stretching me out. I wriggled a little and sighed contently. Without thinking, I responded, "Everything you do always feels so nice."

He laughed outright in surprise as yet another finger was added. "Nice was the only word you could think of?" He said, making fun of me.

Unable to resist pouting a bit, I whined, "Why do you always make fun of me?"

Axel smiled and removed his fingers, his eyes sparkling as my body quivered slightly in protest of the lack of heat. "I only make fun of you because I love you."

"How does that make sense? You—" I started as he quickly slid a condom on, but instantly stopped talking when I felt Axel's hardness at my entrance. I swallowed nervously. "I guess it's time."

Axel slowly entered me, and I could tell he was being very careful, but I couldn't stop myself from gasping in unexpected pain. _Shit_. It had been a very, very long time since I had last had sex. I was…

"So tight," Axel groaned, shaking his head in regret. "Damn, I should have thought to bring lube today."

"T-That would have b-been…really…ugh…optimistic, d-don't you think?" I ground out, laughing despite my pain. Axel grinned down at me affectionately.

"Of course it would've been. But I would've done anything to get you back." He murmured and lovingly he reached down to wrap his hand around my hardness.

I moaned, effectively distracted from the pain as Axel handled me again roughly. God it felt so great. Nothing was better than Axel's hands…except maybe his eyes…or his mouth…or his whole being.

After a while, I began to grow uncomfortable, and I don't mean out of pain. I started to leak, aching for more than just Axel's hands. I needed friction. Heat.

"Axel…move…" I begged him, groaning in frustration. He gazed at me, trying to discern if I was really ready, or just being stubborn. It was a little bit of both. Slowly, he began to rock, waiting for me to fully adjust. After a while of this, I began to get a little antsy.

"Axel, faster!" I whimpered, pushing back and meeting his thrusts to get his attention. He moaned and finally obliged with a low, "fuck yes." Suddenly he was thrusting faster and love and heat and bliss was spreading throughout my body.

At some point I had bit his lips and scratched his back, demanding to ride him, which he wholeheartedly agreed to. So I was moving and he was moaning and we were both slowly dying until the pleasure finally peaked and I was riding out the best orgasm I had ever had.

A split second later, Axel came too with a moan that was so deep and intense that I actually felt pleasure from the sound. In the glance that followed, I saw in his eyes a concentrated, buried need and insatiable hunger for me that I had never noticed. But just as quickly as it came, it faded, and instead his eyes became filled with love and devotion. I smiled and crawled in his arms.

"That was…" I gasped, trying to find the words for it. Damn, I couldn't even think straight.

"Wonderful." Axel finished, breathing heavily. We both looked at each other again and broke out in cheesy grins.

I raked my eyes over his body one last time to memorize it which was about the time I realized Axel was bleeding. "Holy shit, Ax, you're _bleeding_!"

Axel burst out laughing, rubbing his back absently. He hadn't even noticed. "Oh yeah...guess I am."

Now I was the one that couldn't stop laughing.

I had just had _sex_ with _Axel Highwind_. If someone had told me last year that I would end up dating the most popular boy on the islands, going through life-altering therapy, and eventually falling in love with my soul mate, I would say they were crazy.

Now it just seemed surreally…perfect.

"Roxas…be my boyfriend?" Axel asked me softly, running a hand gently down my cheek. I rolled my eyes and shoved him. Dummy.

"Of course!" I yelled good-naturedly, shoving him again for good measure. "I wouldn't have sex with you if I didn't want your heart as well as your body!"

Axel just smiled up at me. "Good."

And from that moment on, good was how we stayed.

* * *

_September_

_Dear Angel,_

_I miss you already. _

_Damn, let me start this letter a different way. The last thing I want to do is make you cry again. After the way you cried when I first moved-in to my dorm, the last thing I ever want to see is you in tears. Especially when in response to me. So let me talk about some good things happening right now._

_My classes are amazing! No more struggling to pass classes I don't care about. Here, I learn and play with fire everyday all day. I know you always worry about me burning myself, but I just can't help it. Besides, isn't my courage part of why you love me?_

_I miss you already._

_Thank god for Demyx being my roommate, though. Being so far away from you and the rest of the gang is hard on me. At least I have him. Zexion visits a lot, which makes me wonder if he plans to eventually transfer here for him. Demyx thinks that they're codependent, which freaks me out frankly, but he always just smiles and looks blissfully happy, so I guess I have to support it. _

_Did I tell you I joined the Psychology Club? Yep, I'm officially a member now. I think I'm going to double major in it. I still want to keep my Pyrology major, but I can't stop thinking about helping people who dealt with the same shit we did not too long ago. So yeah, look at me baby, being a double major and being all smart and shit. _

_I miss you already._

_I know I'm doing a piss poor job of writing you a love letter, which is exactly what I promised. But now that I'm writing to you, it feels like we're face to face, so now all I can think about are day-to-day topics. Sorry._

_Anyway, I miss you already even though it's already been a month and I just saw you like two weeks ago. Not to mention our weekly Skype chats. But still. It's not the same. Regardless, I miss you and can't wait for you to come over next weekend so we can work on your Research paper, which is definitely the worst part about Junior year. _

_Later baby._

_Love,_

_Axel_

* * *

_Dear Ax,_

_I am so happy to hear that you're loving college. I have to admit, I was a little worried you would hate all of those classes, but looks like I was worrying for nothing. You've always been so optimistic and strong…of course you'd make the best of it!_

_Wow, Dem and Zexion are that close, huh? I see Zexion occasionally here when the gang comes to visit me, but mostly he's either brooding or planning out his next visit to see you guys. I think they really are codependent. Jeez, we'll have to make sure to watch that._

_Hmm, a double major in Psychology? Of course I'm all for it! The skillful way you handled me and my problems…it'd be selfish for me to discourage that! Other kids will need that kind of understanding. That is so great, Ax. I'm so proud of you. _

_And hey, I didn't cry that much when you moved-in. It was just really hot that day and I was sweating a lot. So shut up._

_Everything is good here. My classes are tough but I'm sure yours are harder. I had to have a talk with Hayner the other day because—and don't freak out about this—he asked me on a date. I yelled at him for about an hour because he told me he didn't think we were right for each other, and the long distance thing never works. I told him that generally the split-personality thing never works either, so I think we'll be fine._

_I know what you mean about the face-to-face feeling. God, I swear it feels like you're sitting right in front of me as I write this. Weird. _

_Remember when you took me to go see the kid in the coma? The one that I had...well, beat into comatose? Thank you, by the way, for that. You stayed by me the whole time while I apologized profusely to his parents. I never told you how much that meant to me. Well, anyway, guess what? HE WOKE UP TODAY! Oh Axel, I can't even describe to you how happy I was for him. He hates my guts, of course, and he wouldn't accept my apology once he realized what had happened and that he had lost so many years from his life. But I don't care if he never forgives me. He shouldn't. I'm just happy that he has a life now._

_I'm sure I miss you more than you miss me. And I know I shouldn't say that. But I miss you every day._

_Love,_

_Roxas_

_P.S. Any cute boys up there who don't have as many problems as I do?_

* * *

_Roxas,_

_No. I barely even look at anyone else. Just ask Dem. He's the one who told me that I would never make any friends if I kept ignoring everyone else that gave me a wink and a smile. So don't be ridiculous._

_Love,_

_Axel._

_P.S. Thinking of you...wherever you are._

* * *

Epilogue

* * *

It's funny now to think back to that time when I was damn near convinced that I had to be an angel. I thought I couldn't cheat. Thought I couldn't steal. Thought I couldn't lie.

But everybody lies. And in trying to be an angel, I was lying to myself.

Axel Highwind is the best thing that has ever happened to me. And even though he goes to a university that is pretty far from me, I feel just as much love for him away as I feel when he is right next to me. He helped me become the person I am, the person I was meant to be, but just didn't allow myself.

At school, as soon as I stopped caring about what others thought of me, I stopped noticing stares and whispers. So after while, they just faded away, and everyone slowly began to accept me for who I really was: a human being.

Namine visits me from time to time, and we spend our days talking and reminiscing. The best part about having her back in my life is having a friend that knows me just as well as Axel does. It fills a bit of the gaping hole that arose out of loneliness for him.

My life isn't perfect, but never again will I try to make it so. From now on, I'm going to just live it and be myself.

And having a sexy boyfriend who looks at you like you're his cat-nip—his unwavering desire—never hurt either.

* * *

**Done! What did you think? Like it? Love it? Completely hated it? Well, leave me a review if it so pleases you. If not...until next time! :D**

**P.S. Here are the c****hapter title son****gs AKA the songs that inspired each chappie:**

**1. Devil Inside by Utada**

**2. Crush Crush Crush by Paramore**

**3. Breathe Me by Sia**

**4. Obsession by Innerpartysystem**

**5. Shake it Out by Florence and the Machine**


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